I just can't get it together, & it's getting worse.

[Happy_Girl1]

I hate anxiety. I really do. I feel like a shell of a person and no matter where I turn, it comes back to bite me.

I'm FINALLY about to start therapy.. & I really hope it helps!

ive had ODC since I was 8.. I thought it went away but I've recently realised I've just replaced the compulsions with others.

i was first diagnosed with depression at 18.. And it's never gone away for long.

now I'm 27, married with children, and have realised I have server social anxiety too.. That I don't remember having as a child, but now I can only talk to people one-one-one (family included) when I talk to a group of people (2 or more) I lose my train of thought, get anxious & distracted.

Just last night my husband had a friend over & the kids were playing in the lounge room & I just couldn't handle it, I removed myself to scrub the tiles in the bathroom 'because it really needed doing'. I've given myself a 4 hour lunch break today (I'm a small business owner) because I just had to get out of there.

I'm starting to wonder if I will ever have a normal life! I have a wonderful husband, & beautiful kids, a great paying job, a beautiful house, I have NOTJING to feel so depressed and anxious about! At night I lie in bed and think about all the horrible things life has thrown me & I wonder if I will every be happy & truely appreciate my life!

My eldest is 4 this year & keeps asking to invite her preschool friends over to play, which I would LOVE, I love kids. But that would mean I'd have to introduce myself to their parents, call them and possibly have them over to and I just can't bring myself to do it. I don't want my condition effecting my kids like this. I just want to be a better person. 

Well. There is my introduction. I'm hoping to talk to other people & maybe get some moral support from others who know what it's like to live with anxiety. 

[JFC101]

Well, you do have something to be depressed and anxious about. Your spelling is atrocious. 🙂 The only reason I focus on that is because I've spent the last five years alone at home writing a book and articles. Writing is both a coping mechanism and a cause of my diagnosed anxiety disorder.

Anxiety sucks. I used to be a high flying CFO and Company Secretary and now I struggle to collect the mail from the mail box.

The other day, after I started it with my now traditional dry retching session, I too wondered if I'd ever recover. I have no answer to that question. I do know that I'm doing everything I can to cope and to recover.

My God send was when I was recommended to a psychologist. The GP, even though he is fantastic, really was unhelpful when it came to my condition. The psychologist provided simple strategies designed to (a) manage the anxiety attack and (b) to 'rewire' my brain. It's not easy, but I can tell you that it is satisfying when you have a few weapons were you can land a few shots on the beast that resides deep inside your brain.

Now when I dry retch or vomit and feel like the world is closing in when I've organised to do certain things, I remember the words of the psychologist, that I'm rewiring my brain by doing so. After I've accomplished what I set out to do (if I did), I then reflect, identify my successes, and celebrate them so as to reinforce the rewiring, as my psychologist advised. I now keep score. Neocortex/intellect vs amygdala/emotion. Amygdala was kicking my ****, but now neocortex is getting a few hits in there as well.

You have a family. They will be your greatest support. It might be that you might need to inform them because so many people do not understand. They have all the best intentions in the world but they do not understand what is going on.

I do not have a family. My support came from quite a surprising source. My best friend from high school who is a school principal. He doesn't offer advice, he simply listens. He acknowledges he doesn't understand and he despairs he cannot help, cannot fix me, but that is precisely what you need.

You have to fight this on many fronts. And don't for a minute underestimate this beast. When you've found a way to counter one thing it'll throw another your way. Meditation is a wonderful, wonderful weapon. Medication can help - my psychologist reminded me to be kind to myself and take the little pink anti-anxiety pill when I'm experiencing rising anxiety.

Force yourself out of your comfort zone. Don't just wait for things to come up where you then have an anxiety or panic attack. Actively seek them out. The beast will retaliate, but you know with each bout of nausea, with each feeling of claustrophobia, with each thought of reneging, that you are laying a blow or two on amygdala and rewiring it.

It's a tough journey. It appears you have to force yourself to experience anxiety in order to overcome anxiety conditions. You have your family there supporting you, and you have what I do not have - you have motivation to recover.

I have adopted nieces. I hate with a passion how this beast takes away valuable precious minutes with them that I'll never get back. You have your family and this beast is taking away valuable precious time with them. Get angry and fight.

Is that moral support? 🙂