I have this weird problem that has manifested, associating things I see to sex or something related

[MessyHeadSpin]

Hi everyone,

Firstly, I'm MessyHeadSpin 😛 I'm 31 years old (..I think) and I live in the Gold Coast. I have suffered depression, anxiety, ADHD and a list of other problems but I suppose those are the main ones. I also think I suffer PTSD after years of horrible life and problems... I've been battling with sleep problems that have caused me a lot of stress and it has affected people around me a lot. Anyway, greetings and thanks for reading my post.

So to begin, a little back story about this current issue. I lived with 2 people who ended up being absolutely horrible to me, but whilst I was there and things were 'ok' I was going out with a Japanese girl. My housemate said to me 'when she's making her squeaking noises think of me' ... O.O

Ever since that day, I actually had that stuck in my head. It infuriated me a lot and ended up causing big problems in my relationship. I think there is something wrong with me... But now, I have this chronic issue where I associate things that I see to sex or anything related to it...

For example, I was looking up Pearly Penile Papules which is a small issue I have, and I saw a suggested video of a popular youtuber who I don't particularly like and there seems to be some part of my brain that wants to associate his face with what I was researching... Now I kind of have the concern that every time I see that persons suggestions in the youtube I'll remember this situation.

This kind of thing happens to me all the time like if I'm watching a movie and someone horrible does something sexually abusive to someone or something then I have some paranoia that develops that if I get into a situation that has something even slightly related to just an action they were doing (not the abusive stuff, just a visual or something) that I will think of that if I ever get into a situation like that.. I'm not sure how to make that make it make sense without giving too much detail....

One more example, if my housemates god son is talking about something sexual like boobs or something I don't want him to because I might relate him to boobs and it will ruin my experience later on.

It might seem funny, but it's a serious problem for me... I feel like sometimes I have to stick my fingers in my ears and go 'la la la' and get out of there in case someone taints even more of my thoughts.

I'm just tired of it and I don't know if anyone has anything helpful to say.

I appreciate everyone who reads this and replies. 😞 Thank you.

[BballJ]

Hi MessyHeadSpin,

Firstly, welcome to the forums, I know this may not have been totally easy to speak/write about.

I have no experiance with this type of anxiety but just wanted to reach out for support and ask if you have spoken to a GP to refer you to a psychologist about this, believe it or not a psychologist may be able to decipher exactly what is happening in your mind and why it associates these things to these other things.

It must seem like such a merry go round with all this happening.

My best for you,

Jay

[Doolhof]

Hi MessyHeadSpins,

I too welcome you to the Beyond Blue community.

If you don't mind a few questions, like Jay mentioned, have you talked to your Dr about all of this? Have you seen a psychologist, psychiatrist or counsellor? These people will definitely help you sort all of this out.

It is not always easy to get in and see a specialist when you need to. There are phone help lines if you feel comfortable talking to people about these issues. You could try the Beyond Blue team on 1300 22 4636.

Having your thoughts being distorted in this way must be very difficult. Is there some way you can change your thoughts so the sexual reference is not so strong.

Okay, lets take the boob example. I will refer to the housemates God son as z. So Z is talking about boobs. If you ask him to not do so, he might find your hassle hilarious and will keep on talking about boobs and other sexual bits and pieces.

Instead of relating Z to boobs, try to over power those thoughts with something else Z has said, or think about the clothes he is wearing, how his hair is cut, anything to dull out the boobs reference.

Hopefully you can find a way to block those unwanted sexual thoughts, to release them and not let them control your thinking.

Maybe Googling ways to change your thoughts might help until you can gain some professional assistance.

Have a chat with your Dr. That would be a good idea. All the best, cheers from Mrs. D.

[MessyHeadSpin]

Thanks for your posts guys, I have my psychologist appointment ... some time in the future.. I guess I have to call them and find out when it's booked for, i forget a lot of stuff.

I'm not sure if I trust her, or anyone really... She smokes and someone who smokes to me obviously hasn't got a great hold on their mental state 😕 ... I don't mean to be judgmental, but I don't think smoking is a good indication of control of your life... So listening to her might not be fruitful.. I hope she has something useful to say, maybe the smoking helps her because she has to deal with everyone elses problems like this.

I'm not sure how to deal with this issue, whenever I hear a Japanese voice I get this confused feeling, something related to that horrible thing the nasty person said to me. I feel like I can't have a Japanese girlfriend because it will cause issues in my head. I'm really tired of it... However, I'm trying my best to sort out sleeping pattern and other health issues. I do hope that will help me to get better in my mind. I have been a "smoker" if you get my meaning.. for a long time on and off and I believe that may have affected the way my brain functions to handle anxiety and stress.

I'm not really sure what to do about it all... I want to be free from stupid things in my head and paranoia... I am developing phobias a lot lately... When these big storms came over Gold Coast a few days back, I ended up sitting in my friends car under the basement 3 stories down to avoid getting struck by lightning.. lol .. Rare to get hit by lightning, bit still...

As for overpowering thoughts, i don't really have that ability... I think my horrible health and sleeping patterns might be partially to blame... I'm working on that at the moment with natural sleep aid, intermittent fasting and attempting to exercise.

Lets see how it goes... Thanks for your replies btw

[KTOCD]

Hello Messy Head,

Thanks for sharing. Believe it or not.....u r not alone in experiencing these intrusive thoughts. I have struggled before with them and it is really really hard to manage it. You need to see someone as soon as u can. I find that I can go through a period of having them that can last from a few months to a couple of years. Then u may get a break for awhile. I find medication really helps. Intrusive thoughts are usually related to sex or seriously hurting someone or something equally as destressing. U need to remember that the fact that u r finding this so distressing means u r not going to carry anything out or anything like that. They r just thoughts!

I have used 'rescripting' as a strategy before. So when the thought comes or u think someone is going to say something that will trigger thoughts, think about a different ending to the story. I know it sounds silly. But picture them singing a nursery rhyme instead of speaking the trigger words or even having bubbles come out of their mouth. Make it funny! Perhaps replay the scenario in your head afterwards with a different script. Does it help with any of the previous ones? Good luck! I feel for u. Sometimes u just need to accept the thoughts and let them come and go. Remember they r just thoughts!

[Doolhof]

Hi Messy Head,

Trying to find ways to improve your health, mental and physical is beneficial.

Maybe your psychologist does smoke cigarettes to help her cope with all that she hears, or it might be a habit from teenage years she is just unable to quit, or maybe she doesn't want to stop. Who knows. As long as she is helpful, that is the main thing.

Occasionally I find when someone tells me to try to not think about something, that is the thing that I do think about more. I need to distract my mind.

People can say horrible things. It is not always easy to let go of the awful stuff, like KT OCD mentioned, if yo can change the "script" that will help.

It is probably best to chat to a professional about how you are feeling, as you need to wait for the appointment, you could Google "How to Change my thoughts" and see some beneficial ideas click for you.

Cheers for now from Mrs. Dools

[MessyHeadSpin]

Thanks again guys,

So many up and downs, not having a good night tonight... might post again some time.

I'll see how it goes, if anything changes I'll post.

Thanks guys.

[BballJ]

Hi messyheadspin,

Post as much and as often as you would like, we are always happy to hear you out 🙂

My best,

Jay