I don’t know how to help myself

[tofu]

I don’t really know which section to post, sorry if this is the wrong one.

I have lost the desire to do many things and can’t bring myself to do anything at the moment. After more than 7 years of needing help I finally went to a counsellor a few months ago. I had an extremely difficult time talking about myself, (I’m a really shy and private person), I opened up a bit but after the next 3 sessions came I felt uncomfortable taking so I cancelled and never had a session again. I think I got diagnosed with anxiety, but honestly was scared to ask and not sure if the person I was talking to can formally diagnose either? I just saw it on my medical record. I had no motivation to follow their advice/homework, I tried but I could never fully bring myself to do anything. I’m honestly really scared and uncomfortable with talking about this stuff face to face with some one that’s a real person, idk how to explain it, even through one on one texting privately (maybe it’s hypocritical of me to post on a forum after saying this?). It’s the fact that I don’t really want to share my immensely personal experiences but I desperately do at the same time, to get somewhere. I just don't really like physically talking/texting about this stuff and I know I’ll never be able to comfortably open up no matter how many sessions and with who. I couldn’t be open enough for them to really help me either, it was really general and they mostly did the talking, or at least that’s how it felt. So to me it’s like what they were teaching me wasn’t what I really needed because I couldn’t say much. I’m scared to go on medication so I don’t think I’d agree to that. I also don’t feel motivated enough to follow indirect advice atm too. In the past I tried it all, journal, exercise, breathing techniques, hobbies I don’t really have interest in anymore etc. I feel so stuck on how to better myself when I can’t bring my self to. Even what I’m fully diagnosed with, if I really have any mental health issues? I don’t have motivation for anything to do with myself, what do I do to help myself? Are there other options ? I feel like there’s too much to address now ahh.

Thank you so much for getting down here and reading my essay ♡

[golden82]

Hello Tofu! And welcome. Thank you for writing such a comprehensive intro about your situation. I can relate to most, if not all of what you have described. I am sorry u are in this situation too.

It sounds as though you are very aware of your struggles and potential things to help which you have tried. And also the therapy. I understand it can be hard to open up. For me face to face works better - but I get that this is hard/er for you. One thing you could try is telehealth (over the phone) with your counsellor if this is any easier for you to open up. Or else you could try online (zoom or similar). I know Lifeline do 6 of these for free over the laptop/phone. I just found this out today. You get 6 counselling sessions with the same person to help you with whatever it is you need most.

I have pretty much given up on trying new counsellors etc as I have been almost 7 yrs spun around at their whim building trust, opening wounds and then getting nowhere - only to have to start all over with another. I have decided it just isn't for me - the MH service is very lacking. But I know there are many on these forums who keep on trying. So it is up to you what you choose to do.

I think something you could try is just one thing each day (baby steps they call it). I keep thinking I should do this. eg we have lost all interest in things (and lockdown and state of the world does not help either btw) - but if you pick just one thing and try to do even 5 mins of it each day and go from there, to try and re-interest. It could be anything - eg listen to one song in the day. Or read one page/chapter whatever you 'like' and can manage. Hopefully as the weeks go by you can add a few more things and find yourself coming back to life a bit more.

I wish you all the best and encourage you to read the ideas others have all over the forums. Take care 🙂

[geoff]

Hello Tofu, it's not easy sitting down in front of someone you don't know and then try to open up to them but maybe you could do some research on being able to overcome 'social anxiety', just type this in the box at the top of this page to learn more about how you are able to speak with someone face to face.

Another way to practice is to continue with slowly opening up to us on your thread, it can be done by doing this very slowly, remember you are in charge of the keyboard, nobody else is, so the timing is in your hands, just go at your own pace.

Geoff.

[Amanda2000]

Hi tofu

I agree. The information-overload in today's world can be overwhelming rather than helpful.

I don't think anyone can fix my problems so I'm slowly coming up with some self-help coping-strategies. I need to keep things simple for myself.

Happy to talk more if you would like to share some examples of what you're struggling with.