How to relax?

[Fredrik]

After losing a family member a few years ago to suicide, anxiety became a regular and increasing companion. This combined with the extensive bullying I endured throughout my schooling led to being diagnosed with PTSD.

This year has been particularly difficult following or being sent home to work in March. I think anxiety came to play and I had so much more time to think about things that’d happened, including several times now it has been implied at work I might be gay.

This, plus other things that have occurred, have taken me back to all I endured growing up and caused several breakdowns. The pain it has caused has certainly left me feeling depressed, excluded and wanting to be anywhere but there though needing to pay bills having no choice.

I do want to be rid to this anxiousness and be able to relax, how to achieve lasting rather than temporary though?

[white knight]

Hi, welcome
Great question.

In 1987 my anxiety reached a peak so my therapist introduced me to muscle tensioning exercises.

Before sleeping like down. Deep breathe. Start at your toes and tension those muscles up for 15 seconds. Do that with every muscle in your body to the face. Then tension up every muscle in your body at the same time for 30 seconds. Relax for 10 minutes. It'll also help you sleep.

Please Google

Beyondblue topic anxiety, how I eliminated it

Beyondblue topic he helped me for 25 years- maharaji

Beyondblue topic worry worry worry

Repost anytime
TonyWK

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Fredrik,

Welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear about everything that you've been through lately; it's been a hard year for everyone and grief with PTSD makes it so much harder.

TonyWK has given you some great support there- there's also a lot of really useful advice on the forums in the anxiety section as well.

In your question you wrote 'lasting rather than temporary'. What are the things that you're doing for 'temporary' relaxation?

If I had to really pick one thing to share it's probably mindfulness practices. There's also trauma based mindfulness which felt less daunting to me; as it was more of an invitation to practice rather than a 'try this'. For me, this looks like me slowly sipping on my coffee and taking that in, and also sitting with my feelings and moods from yesterday trying to let that be without changing it. That can also look like breathing exercises and body scan exercises; there's so much out there. It's just finding what works for you.

rt

[Fredrik]

After my brother ended his life, I used the calm app initially before seeing a psychologist. I’m finding this time it’s not working, it will work for maybe an hour or so and then the stress and anxiety feelings are returning. I have had a lot of tension headaches, tension (not pain) across chest and stomach and struggle to relax described by white Knight (thanks).

i think I need to schedule in my phone calm again like I did back when events with my brother.

I’ve been trying, when I remember, the muscle relax described by

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Fredrik,

I'm really glad you got back to us. It's great that you were able to use the Calm app and find it somewhat helpful, at least for a little while!

How long were you using it at the time- were you using it once a week/day for an hour? I've always found that with apps like that the continuity is key; even if that means 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes at night- or even 2 minutes when you break for lunch.

Scheduling the calm app sounds like a good idea- actually a really good prompt for me too since I'm very forgetful! I have no doubt that if it has helped even a little in the past you can find it might help a little now. If you are still seeing the psychologist, you can also bring this up with them too and see if they have suggestions or input.

Hope this helps

rt

[Fredrik]

After losing my brother I used the app daily, sometimes multiple times per day to deal with strong levels of anxiety I was experiencing. I continued for a year but after this my use dwindled to just periodic.

More recently I’ve tried using breathing exercises within the app rather than the daily Calm, but have now scheduled. I’m not currently seeing a psych though do have some leave shortly so may see if they’ve time.

[smallwolf]

hi. I wandered into your story and saw your comments about apps etc and I hope you don't mind if I throw out my 2c worth...

I guess I have different tools for different situations. There were times when I would park myself under a statue for about 2 hours to get over the feelings of dread and worry. Sometimes it takes me longer than I might like but ...

If I find the apps do not work for me, then I also have prayer beads and only cause these were more easily accessible than worry beads but they have the same effect - something that I can touch and feel which can use more of the senses than an app (for me).

The only "downside" with anything meditation/mindful related is that can take time to be effective so it is something to make part of a daily routine.