Hello,
I think that this is a great thread. Thank you so much for reaching out and asking such a relatable question.
I think loneliness is very painful for most people. I believe human connection, such as friendships, is so important. But I also understand that struggles like anxiety, depression, etc can mean trying to make new friends is really challenging...
I get the feeling that you know what you need/want to do to make new friends. But it’s, as you said, the anxiety that makes it very daunting. So I would gently suggest maybe trying to develop strategies to cope/manage your anxiety, so that it hopefully makes socialising less stressful.
For example, I’m wondering if you’re currently seeing a mental health professional, such as a counsellor? If so, I wonder if you might like to brainstorm ideas/strategies with them for ways help you in social situations e.g. come up with small talk prompts, grounding/mindfulness if you’re overwhelmed, etc.
Alternatively (or in addition), I wonder if you have thought about practising your social skills. The way that I see it is our social skills is similar to a muscle, so the more we practice using them, the better we get at it.
I understand that you’re maybe not yet ready for those groups that you mentioned. So do you think that you could do something that you’re more comfortable with to practice your social skills?
It could be something such as, a simple “hi, how are you?” to a supermarket worker, smiling at a hospitality employee, casually greeting/smiling at a friendly face at a park, etc.
Hopefully, over time, those basic interactions will help build your social confidence. So that you can eventually get to a point where you can join the groups that you’re interested in...
Those are just some gentle ideas 🙂
kindness and care,
Pepper
