'Hit and Run OCD" Fears

[Ryan7519]

Hey everybody so recently over the past month or so I have been experiencing an uncommon subtype of Obsessives Compulsive Disorder that relates to driving although I have had a history of OCD and Anxiety with driving a car for a while now and this is just the latest manifestation.

So basically Hit and Run OCD falls under Harm OCD in which an individual has a fear of causing harm to themselves or others in this case this is an irrational fear of hitting someone most commonly a pedestrian or cyclist and I quote 'Not being aware of it" and driving off and leaving the scene of an accident or failing to provide assistance then be arrested charged and worst being sent to prison or at best having to live with a forever tarnished reputation criminal record and a life just not worth living life of shame and guilt. You hear of hit and runs in the news where a person drives of leaving someone helplessly injured or dying but these type of people are often speeding negligent on drugs or under the influence of alcohol I have never been guilty of any of those things, I like to think I am a safe driver maybe a little over cautious sometimes but my OCD intrusive thought and fear is " What if I hit someone and did not realize and drove off " "What if..." the 'infamous What if"

It is crazy to think you could hit someone or something and be unaware I mean you would feel see and hear it as traumatic as it is.

Often I pass a pedestrian or cyclist it triggers some of these intrusive thoughts.

"What if I did not wait long enough for them to cross "(even though the road is clear)

"What if I hit them and did not know and have left an "accident scene" in my head without realizing

I often avoid driving unless I have to work and have become more housebound than usual afraid or apprehensive about going out ( we live on a small property ) My OCD has been impacted my study and as for work being in Hospitality that is somewhat limited at the moment although I do enjoy my job as a Kitchen Hand I find it provides a healthy outlet and distraction for OCD I enjoy working but I find that intrusive thoughts are taking over both at work and at home I do not get a rest from it. As for the compulsion element well this is a text book case here are the some of the compulsions I do

"Retracing the route I have gone either by car or on foot to "look for bodies " or any sign of an "incident"

"Listening for "ambulance sirens"

"reading local news updates for "incidents "

and some others.

[Petal22]

Hi Ryan 7519,

Wellcome to our forums!

Im really sorry you are going through this I totally understand what you are going through I really do, OCD is a really cruel disorder to have.

I have a lived experience of severe anxiety OCD , this condition was very debilitating at times, it was exhausting and I felt completely terrified of my intrusive thoughts and as I got further and further into my OCD cycle the more anxious I became.

The good news is after receiving professional help I learned how to break free of the grips of OCD and have been recovered now for over 4.5 years……..

My professional help started from seeing my gp through to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me I also did a group therapy this therapy was an intervention into the OCD this therapy gave me the tools I needed to master my OCD.

If I can learn how to master my OCD then there is hope that you can to.

Have you done any therapy for your OCD?

OCD is a vicious cycle once you can learn what keeps you in your cycle you can then learn how to disengage from it.

The what if………. I learned that just by questioning our intrusive thoughts with what if? That the cycle moves up to a whole new level ……… I learned that when you have the intrusive thoughts don’t question them just allow the thoughts to be there and float away…. ( I know this is hard) and instead of questioning the thoughts put your attention on something in the present moment like what can you hear or if your doing a task really put your attention on it…. Take your attention out of your mind..(when you know your doing this )and put it on something in the present moment.

Have you ever learned how to challenge your thoughts?

Meditation is a great practice maybe you could try one? Look for one thats a guided meditation for learning to watch your thoughts….. meditation can teach you that your not your thoughts but the watcher of them.

Im sorry your OCD is impacting your life in the way it is…..I strongly encourage you to seek professional help so you can learn to intervene with it.

Ive written two threads you may be interested in reading

From someone who suffered OCD and recovered

Effective treatment for OCD Metacognitive Therapy

( just type these into the search bar)

I really understand how OCD can impact our lives……. It’s a very challenging condition to have.

Hold onto hope with the correct treatment you can learn how to break free of its grips.

Your not alone

Im here to chat, please ask me any questions.

[Ryan7519]

Thankyou very much for your support I know these thoughts are not real

[Petal22]

That’s ok Ryan7519 I understand….

When I was in the grips of OCD I knew that my thoughts seemed irrational but they “ felt very real “.

Start practicing some meditation……….. meditation was one of the things that got me over the line…… it takes practice

Start practicing mindfulness

When you realise you are stuck in your head put your attention on something in the present moment to bring you out of your head.

This all takes practice

OCD felt like a marathon for me but it was a marathon that I won ……… you can win it too….. just keep persevering……..

Some of my compulsions were seeking reassurance and checking things….. ( I learned to stop engaging in these things) the more I stopped doing these things the shorter my OCD cycle got and the less anxious I became.

I learned that OCD works on a sliding scale, I had good days and bad days in my recovery but the more I practiced my skills the good days eventually out weighed the bad ones.

Please chat to me and ask me anything.

You can learn to master your OCD…… hold onto hope.

Hang in there