High functioning anxious people.

[Pixie15]

I am not sure why I am writing this.

Maybe because I am a high functioning anxious person. It is something I can do when I feel that something needs to be done.

I would like to hear from other high functioning anxious people.

How do you cope? How do you deal with the need to do something when there is nothing to be done.

[Moonstruck]

Hi all other HF AP....I don't know if I should post here (the obvious place)...knowing it's hardly been used since last year....perhaps I should post on my own thread??....see...I am getting anxious about that!! I am so sick of this pretending pretending....(warning...this is a vent on my part, nothing really useful..sorry)....I have just taken on a task at which I am high functioning...really high...others think that, they see that, I think it and see it too!! then why, dear God....why do ordinary everyday tasks scare the hell outta me?

e.g. I am frightened, anxious, about going to a different, new petrol station!! explain that to me! I need to go there, it will save me money, I want to go there....I have to "psych myself up" to go there..and then I chicken out and go to my usual one....where I feel "safe"!! (it is quite a bit more expensive...but it feels safe)

I even walked around the unfamiliar place, to see which bowser I should pull up near...how to key in the amount I want in $ and cents. its all different to my usual place!!

the supermarket is quite nearby....will i go there again today, to get a few things? No, perhaps better not..I went yesterday. It seems silly to go 2 days in a row....I am debating with myself and getting anxious about that!!

and yet, and yet....I function at such a high level at the really important stuff where others depend on me and have 100% confidence in me.....and I am scared of the petrol station!!! How do I STOP THIS ??

[Moonstruck]

The outcome to my last post...was that I asked a friend/neighbour who knows someone with anxiety/panic....so not a complete stranger to the concept.....to come with me...he did so willingly, I did the procedure myself with him guiding me through and I think I will be OK now to go there myself next time....

[stormcloudz]

Moonstruck, that is such a creative solution to your challenge! It is great that you found a way around it.

I have been reading this thread and realised that I've found my people - I'm high functioning anxiety and depression. Thanks all for sharing, it's good to read (although ironically hearing people talk about all the things they should be doing made me anxious LOL).

Moonstruck, I have a challenge for you, should you wish to accept it : )

When you think that you are being weak or silly or whatever:

1. Think of a person that you love and are friendly with.

2. Imagine them in your situation (doesn't matter if they haven't been)

3. Think about what you would say to them about the situation, what encouragement you would give, what advice you would provide

4. Compare that to what you tell yourself (but only spend a little time on this)

I've found this helpful as it is easier to provide practical and compassionate advice to ourselves when we pretend it's a friend in the same situation. It can also be shocking to realise how harsh we are on ourselves.

Everyone is different, so this may not work for you, but if you try it let me know how it goes.

[Moonstruck]

Thank you so much for replying stormcloudz...I will give your suggestion a try and let you know. No one has been able to explain it to me..how I can be so high functioning, and quite confident, not scared about it at all in one area which carries a lot of responsibility and "putting myself out there"....and be such an anxious, shy, scared person about tiny things that other people do every day, and never give them a second thought!!

if the people connected with me thru the "high functioning" activity had any idea I was like this in other areas...they simply would not believe it. "Who? Her? No way, she's fabulous, we're so lucky to have her, you must be mistaken...she's totally in control...I wish i knew how she does it"....that'd be more likely their reaction. so it can be a very lonely situation.

yes i did make the right decision about the neighbour...I knew he would not turn a hair at all...we were laughing about the absurdity of the situation when consumed with mirth at his kitchen table, I blurted out "I'm scared of the new petrol station!!" "Ok let's go there now, come on Moonstruck, I've got a few minutes".

I wonder if there are more people than we thought, who maybe hiding this crippling condition behind a high functioning exterior, with no one to confide in...........I hope more "sufferers' post here, it is good to know I am not alone.

[Duck_in_water]

I everyone,

I have just come across this thread! Feels very applicable to my current situation. I am a newly graduated Registered Nurse on a quick paced, often hectic surgical ward. I have always had a little social anxiety. It has only ever had a mild impact on my life, often I'll be quite first time in a new group, but I make friends easily and come across as 'out going' amongst people I know. Lately though I am anxious all the time. The only escape is to make myself as busy as possible, which I do well. At home I'm distracted and distant. I love my job, but there are so many scenarios that run through my mind. I have insomnia and find myself quite depressed at the end of the day. I can't sit still anymore because I feel to anxious and low. To others I am 'little miss bubbly', my life is perfect and I have few worries. I feel like I can't debrief with close friends about how I feel because they never see me when all the action of the day is striped away. I thought keeping busy was a reasonable approach to dealing, but I am tired and my lows are getting lower.

Duck in Water.

[Moonstruck]

Hello there Duck....yes i think I know how you feel. A term I hate happens to be "bubbly"...and yes to my horror and amusement I was actually described like that too once. a friend related a comment from someone who hadn't known me long...they said "she's such a bubbly "people person" isn't she?"....WRONG! that is the last thing I am. I have no desire whatsoever to meet "new people"which for some reason, some folk think is a good thing.. why is it a good thing to "meet new people"?. How do they know what is good for me? I know enough people thanks.

I would suggest (for what it is worth)...winding down on your own after work (which you love and are obviously great at..good for you!)...just sit, play relaxing meditation type music...breathe in deeply thru the nose, out thru the mouth to a count of at least 6...give gratitude for your job and skills....just sit in the fresh air and "be".

After I've finished the activity I excel at..I don't debrief with the others either..I think we all do it in our individual ways. rather than being "depressed at the end of the day" you could be just withdrawing from the adrenalin needed for you to do such a great responsible job! adrenalin withdrawal can be pretty severe...do you get enough "time out" during the work day to "come down" a bit? Good to meet you Duck in Water....

[Duck_in_water]

Moonstruck, thank you, your reply is brilliant. Meditation after work is an excellent idea. I think you have a most valid point with adrenaline withdrawal. I do tend to have a slump post holiday period, which is a similar concept. I feel like you have motivated me to find some mindfulness techniques that work for me. I do walk home and listen to music, but never with the aim of 'leaving work at Work'

Addit: meeting new people is the worst 😂

[Moonstruck]

Keep persevering Duck....thought I'd drop in a tiny little insignificant thing about me last night....coming home from the high pressure thing where I function at my highest....that "new" petrol station I had been psyching myself up to visit was still open...so not nearly as scary as broad daylight..I needed fuel and smoothly completed the task....I suspect it was due to the "high" dopamine/adrenalin/endorphins or whatever...that had gotten me thru another successful evening...I dunno.

I love your name and aware that in my particular field, I guess I too am a "duck in water". I am sure there are others with me who are definitely stepping "out of their comfort zone" i.e. "ducks out of water"....it must be hard for them...so i am definitely grateful that it comes easily to me.. I do realise I am lucky in this regard...if only that confident feeling could remain with me 24/7...re everyday stuff, conversations, interactions etc....but at least I can get petrol!! (late at night anyway...would be a different story in bright daylight..someone might see me..LOL)

[Pixie15]

Hello SB1973,

Sorry I have not been keeping tabs on the BB for awhile. Your post sounded a bit sad. I am not sure if you are still around but if you are thanks for sharing your story. It is really inspiring that you have managed to achieve so much as a single parent. Sorry about the angst though.

Cheers