High functioning anxious people.

[Pixie15]

I am not sure why I am writing this.

Maybe because I am a high functioning anxious person. It is something I can do when I feel that something needs to be done.

I would like to hear from other high functioning anxious people.

How do you cope? How do you deal with the need to do something when there is nothing to be done.

[Pixie15]

I started this thread earlier this year because I thought that I needed help and I want to thank everyone who has responded here.

My susceptibility to difficult relationships is due to social shyness which is felt as a fear response. This social shyness also means that I am inclined to take responsibility for other peoples actions and try to fix them if they attract too much attention. This means I respond in ways that are not helpful to either of us.

The shyness also inclines me towards trying to be socially "normal" something that I now do not think exists. I was prescribed medication just over a year ago to basically give me courage to take on the challenges the year has brought. I think this was a false courage and I am going to wean off the medication and work on accepting myself as I am and embracing difference in others.

[Moonstruck]

Hello there Pixie - fellow traveller, (if I may call you that). You mentioned medication - for some reason, neither my GP, nor the psych who has been a great help to me just talking through things....have thought I needed any at all.

I was in a really bad way for a long time, and probably will be again with severe anxiety, obsessive thoughts and worrying imaginary possible scenarios...leading me into a dark desperate depression.....but still, I wasn't allowed any medication! I've never been able to understand why - they seemed convinced I was "strong enough" to get through on my own!! It still puzzles me.

No I don't think "socially normal" exists. The best I can aim for when really down or anxious is to be well mannered and polite and just keep quiet. There's nothing wrong with just quietly listening - it can even look quite mysteriously beguiling and attractive - and I'm always aware that a ladies room is usually handy to go into and just breathe for a bit!

It's hard Pixie sometimes. Some days it is just so hard. I am glad you started this thread. Are you still managing to function highly these days?

[Pixie15]

Hello Moonstruck,

Actually had a different doctor who prescribed the medication.

Still manage to function highly I think. Maybe a bit too high which is why I am cutting out the medication. Apparently some of us have too much serotonin anyway.

Glad to see you are still around and I hope things are going well for you.

I am not really surprised to learn you are "strong enough".

[Madite]

Hi Rufio,

I seem to be able to get through at work as a Manager OK, I feel I do this well even though I feel the effects of anxiety interrupted sleep and being tired from all the different ways that anxiety manifests itself. I do have a hard time on the weekends though and when I take annual leave. I find it difficult to try and enjoy the time off but end up with large amounts of anxiety and wish I could go back to work where I can escape it for a while. I need better ways to cope with it outside of work to start enjoying life again...

[Moonstruck]

Good to meet you Madite. this being available 24/7 via our wonderful technological advances has certainly taken its toll on so many of us.

I feel at a loose end when at home just pottering around...(I work part time from home which is very convenient in some ways, not in others, because I never actually "leave work"geographically) there's always something I can look for, check, go through the Inbox Mail.....see what needs to be done tomorrow etc etc.

I actually feel guilty if I sit and watch TV for a while instead....or more importantly for me.....Rest!!

I am involved in another social activity /hobby now also,which is taking up a lot of time and tiring me out (while being thoroughly enjoyable and a wonderful "escape").

Even I now, am aware that i am not eating properly....and sleep?...forget it! I find it is taking longer and longer to "wind down" completely at bedtime....during the day though, I am exhausted and pushing myself.

when I finish here...I'm going to "try" and have a sleep...well, at least a rest...on my bed and everything!! Like normal people do when they're tired... It's 11am here...is that OK? Will anyone mind if I rest? Am i doing something wrong or letting someone down if I rest? will I be in trouble if I rest?.......(hopeless case I am)...

[Pixie15]

Hello fellow travellers Moonstruck and Madite,

I am not sure who wrote the rule that doing nothing was relaxing. Anyone who has seriously taken on a meditation routine will know that doing nothing can be very difficult. I don't really have trouble with sleeplessness but I find that when my anxiety is triggered I have my sleep disturbed by vivid dreams. Which is a bit exhausting. I have been getting more exercise lately and am finding that it is helping with the tiredness that I was feeling. It is just a matter of finding the balance. Also I have been fairly disciplined with watching for negative thinking spirals. I am concentrating on trying to avoid things I do not really want to do. Which would seem very selfish if you did not know that I have a tendency of ending up in places that I do not want or need to be.

[Janey123]

Hi all,

I've just come across this post for the first time. Great thread... I found the academia comments particularly interesting, all through uni I achieved outstanding grades, and was obsessive over assignments. At the time I didn't realise I was HF anxious, but it makes complete sense in hindsight and after a diagnosis from my GP. The whole way through uni, no matter how well I did, it was never good enough because I wasn't in a career already (ridiculous!) Then I actually did get a job in the field before I had graduated, but instead of pride I felt like a big fraud, and that I'd simply tricked or manipulated my way in. Have any of you ever heard of imposter syndrome?

After reading this thread I imagine it would resonate with a lot of HF anxious types.

I sometimes wonder if my doctor and psychologist won't prescribe medication because I am high-functioning. I know how to 'turn it on' and be social, friendly, smiley when I'm at the doctors, from the outside looking in my life looks great.. They don't see me the night before a big work event or an hour leading up to a social situation. I find myself thinking that although I'm quite honest with them, they don't see the severity of my illness because I am high functioning.

One thing my psychologist has really helped me with is the feeling of guilt when doing nothing/watching TV/sleeping in/relaxing etc. He has actually barred me from using the word 'should'.. says there is no such thing! He said if I want to watch TV all night, then do it, really helps take the edge off the guilt. I still feel it, but catch myself now.

Janey

[Pixie15]

Hello Janey123 and other high functioning anxious people,

I am just starting to wind down from a particularly difficult year. In the process of withdrawing from a medication which on reflection did not deliver the expected positive results. It has always been unclear to me wether I am anxious because I am high functioning or high functioning because I am anxious. It now seems that the anxiety may actually act as a limiter of the high functioning and removing the anxiety actually increased my susceptibility to distractions.

So it is back to the drawing board. Now I am wanting to talk to my doctor about ADD which is ADHD without the hyper and I am wondering if any of you other high functioning anxious people have ever attracted the ADD or ADHD label. Apparently some of the medications for anxiety can be counter productive for individuals with a ADD propensity.

Hope you all had a better year than I did.

[SB1973]

At 30’I had a 5 yo and a newborn. I was an assistant principal and lecturer at a local uni. 18 months later I left an emotionally abusive marriage (I went to marriage counselling where only I turned up, - he was upset about something trivial) it made my Counsellor turn to recovery and escape mentor ) then ..I managed to leave an abusive relationship, finish my masters,(my boys played in the hallway while I took a tutorial) I worked full time, got promoted to Principal.. 8 years in a senior position and I wish I could share my journey. High Functioning ANGST!! It is so LONELY!

[Croix]

Dear SB1973~

I'd like to welcome you here to the Forum. You sound a most determined and capable person and I think those who are still enmeshed in an abusive relationship might well take heart from your story. I'm sorry this has resulted in being alone, children are no real substitute for a soulmate, someone who fills a different part of the heart.

You have posted in an old thread (last activity over 6 months ago). While a few might come here it is not going to be the best place for others to see you and talk with you . Do you mind if I suggest you make your own thread? If unsure how to go about it have a look at:

Forums / Welcome and orientation / The forum FAQ thread

We'll look out for you

Croix