Hi

[JacintaMarie]

Hi

I've recently had my period or curse as I call it.

With work, as much as I try not too,I just seem to keep on saying wrong thing or doing wrong ady at work had allergy with the wipes though she's not been affected since we've had them, to cut a long story short she asked me to find some hyperallergenic ones, but not to buy them, I do wonder at the logic of asking me to find some but not to buy any, why ask to search or why didn't she just find it herself.

Anyway, she has been stressed out, but need to be kind, but as my Mum says, she chose to do a Team Leader job & that job has stresses & problems, but you do get paid a decent amount to deal with the stresses & problems.

Sometimes I think she's tired with working & needs to retire, not that I want her to go, it's just work seems to be too much for her & I'm making her grumpy by being me. I just at times, I just do the wrong thing, I can't always make her happy, sometimes I do, bur I just stuff up, She's 63. I need to be more kinder, as it is tiring for people in their 60s, but I'm wise enough not to tell her she needs to retire, she needs to realize this herself (I don't know how long it's going to take her to realize she's getting tired) but if I do. My horrible thought that I had today, was I just want her to retire! To be able to live her life & have life & not be stuck at work! But to all you oldies out there, please keep on working till your 100 if you want!!! As long as your happy, keep on working! Sorry if your offended, I just feel sorry for people who look and act like the work is too much.

How can I be better or be better at communicating, I'm just s*** at it, I always say wrong thing. I get complimented but I don't beliec3 it as sooner or later I'm going to f*** up & get told off 

[Bob_22]

Hi JacintaMarie,

No need to apologise. This is a safe and non-judgmental space. It is also not necessarily a bad thought to want your boss to retire. I've definitely thought that many times throughout my life haha. 

Communication at work can be hard, especially if you have pre-existing issues like anxiety. I find myself ruminating on things I've said hours or sometimes days ago. It can be difficult but if you can learn to manage the anxiety and intrusive thoughts your life at work and communication will be much easier. I find talking about my thoughts or clarifying things with objective third parties very helpful. 

Regardless, the approach I take to communicating with others is that "less is more". Although I'm a bit of an extrovert I tend to keep quiet in social situations just because I like to keep my thoughts to myself a lot of the time. I also prefer listening to talking. Simply by listening to others you can get a sense of what style of communication works best for them and how to go about saying things. You also get a sense of what style of humour the other person has and what is acceptable/not. 

However for your boss it seems like you're doing great in that you're considerate of her limits and can understand her perspective. Keep this mentality when speaking with her and I doubt you'll say anything wrong or out of left field. 

Hope that helps.

Bob

[JacintaMarie]

Hi Bob

Thanks for that, I'll try to remember it, where I work too is what I call stress city, we have alot of people who are still learning, and management is still learning alot, I'm trying to "walkaway"

But I feel abit better, knowing that it's not bad to hope someone retires, I think it might be her personality, she's 

A 

Stress head, though sometimes I wonder why Stress heads go for team leader jobs, that's Stress city, in terms of jobs

[Bob_22]

Hi JacintaMarie,

Thanks for the update. That's good that you recognise your thoughts aren't anything to feel bad over. Sometimes people with anxious traits will feel inappropriate guilt which is quite common. It's important to acknowledge this as well. Yes, being a team leader is stressful but so is being under a stressful team leader. So remember to be kind to yourself too. 

Bob