Health Anxiety

[hollyyy__]

arghh I am not sure if anyone else experiences this but I think I have what's referred to as health anxiety, specifically regarding getting generally sick with bugs and colds etc. I have been struggling with this since I was about 12 and I'm 18 now. It's led to severe OCD where everyday tasks take much longer and if certain routines are broken then I think myself or my family are going to get sick. I want to go to a doctor but I don't think I can really afford it and am not sure what to do. I want to know why I am like this and how I can go back to normal. I told my parents about the issue of my OCD when it first began and they took me to a doctor and psychologist but they think it's gotten better. It hasn't. I feel embarrassed and have tried to open up to my friends about it but I don't think they believe me or just don't really care. I avoid going to certain places where I think I might catch something, and if I do go there I will use copious amounts of hand sanitizer/baby wipes as soon as I leave  every store or touch anything. I am constantly worrying about getting sick and it's all I think about. I just want to be able to do regular everyday things without this constant fear but don't want to go to the doctor for reasons stated above. It's gotten to the point that I struggle to go to sleep, get severe stomach pains and irritability, as well as all my other OCD habits getting more severe and affecting every little thing I do.

[hollyyy__]

Also, in an attempt to sort of 'conquer' my fear of getting sick I decided to get a job at a pharmacy near where I live... it hasn't helped. In fact I think it's made it somewhat worse.

[Petal22]

Hi hollyyy,

Im really sorry you are experiencing this.

I understand first hand how OCD can manifest itself and really interfere with someone’s daily life it can literally feel like a living hell.

Please know that you aren’t alone many people suffer with this debilitating condition.

My initial OCD began with health anxiety and escalated from there…. It came to a point where it was very severe.

I knew that I couldn’t keep going the way I was living because it was too intense for me to handle on my own I needed help.

I took the plunge and seeked professional help for what I was experiencing. Yes I was scared in the beginning but it turns out to have been the best thing I ever did.

I have now mastered my condition after practice and perseverance and I couldn’t have done this without professional help.

OCD is a vicious cycle but it’s a cycle you can learn to break off.

Are you still in contact with your parents? I’m sure they would want to help you if they new how you are really feeling.

I highly recommend you see a health professional and get the correct treatment so you can learn to manage your OCD and then master it…… it really is possible.

I understand the fear and how we can feel embarrassed but I really think if you could put these things aside and move through them you will be able to get the help you need.

I did my therapy at a clinic that specialised in OCD…. Maybe it’s something you could look into?

hang in there 

[La-994]

Hi Hollyyy,

You're certainly not alone in the way you feel. I can say with hindsight that as much as we want it to, our path through anxiety and depressive challenges does not have a timeline. It's great that like me, you have made an active decision to engage with people and seek support.

My experience with health anxiety left me confused and above all, feeling lonely. It looked like the world around me was striding ahead in great health whilst I struggled in misery. It's still something I manage every day (I'm now 28, and have had health anxiety on and off since my teenage years), but with professional support (including bulk billed psychology services) - it has become a manageable component of my life. As for the physical anxiety symptoms and sleep... yep. Been there. It's tough. It almost becomes laughable how many physical anxiety symptoms the body can produce. Dizziness, sweating, chest pains, ringing ears etc.  

You're on the right path by asking for help, you've made the right first step which isn't easy. Congratulate yourself for that.