Health Anxiety My living nightmare!!!!

[Health_Anxious_Mummy]

Hi , first time here

as you’ve probably already guessed I suffer with health anxiety it all started 6yrs ago with a major panic Attack which required an ambulance and a stay in hospital as I really thought I was dying and new nothing about what a panic Attack was until that day , fast forward to now & cut a long story short I was diagnosed with a thyroid issue have been on medication now for a few years and it seems to be ok but it can sometimes play up which can increase my anxiety pretty bad when my levels are out I’m also on medication to try and combat the anxiety but sometimes when I’m really worried and anxious it doesn’t do a great deal . Like at the moment , about 6 weeks ago I was out with my husband and 2 year old and we were in a shop and I was literally fine talking away not thinking of a thing and then out of no where I got a very severe pain in the side of my head so bad I felt a bit sick and had to sit down it didn’t last long maybe 1min if that and it was gone had a couple of twinges later in the afternoon but nothing more after that and I have never experienced anything like it before as you can imagine for someone with health anxiety this has now caused me to think I have a brain tumour I thought not much more about after it happened and thought I was ok but last week I had a similar thing just not painful when I was driving my son to swimming I started to feel strange in my head and really foggy and kept zoning out and really struggled to sit through his lesson because I felt like something awful was about to happen , so now since last Tuesday I’m in a completely full blown anxious state and fearing the worst that I have a brain tumor as I have a sore neck and continue to have sharp pains on my head I don’t have headaches but I do feel off balance and really feel like I’m lacking concentration and my memory is shocking and getting stuck on words this is really worrying me I’m in such a state I do have an appointment with my doctor on Friday. I wish so MUCH I could just be normal and be like oh well whatever like when my husband has anything wrong he just doesn’t even think twice about it I wish so much I could feel the same but I just continue to go in a vicious cycle last month was esophageal cancer because I have reflux before that I was convinced it was my heart because my reflux was playing up I literally have had every test possible apart from a brain scan and all are always fine aside from my thyroid and low iron .

[Ash81]

Hi Annie,

glad your psych is dealing with your shoulder issues. I went and saw my this morning and she said definitely I have Illness Anxiety. She doesn’t want me to go to another gp (I have an appt with my local gp today) because she thinks that’s feeding my monster. She said my first gp said it’s nothing and she has a care of duty to me to tell me the truth. She also said not to ask for a test that the dr doesn’t recommend.. that’s going to be hard for me to do and I don’t know if I can.. the only thing that took it away last time was clear (normal) scans.

This is honestly the hardest thing to deal with. Trusting the dr.. hope you’re doing better than me

[Guest_2496]

Hi Ash

I know what you mean about the trust thing but I think you just have to tell yourself (loudly ha ha) that you didn't have cancer on that last scan, and it wasn't long ago so it couldn't have developed that soon. Maybe set yourself a time before you'd talk to the dr again about it - a certain number of months? and see if it's still worrying you by then...

I dislike going to the dr so much that I tend to just worry away by myself about it all 😉

[Guest_2496]

oh wait! I just saw on another thread that you're having an ultrasound tomorrow! How'd you manage to get them to agree?

hang in there, I know the waiting is hard but you'll have answers very soon Ash.

[Ash81]

Hi Annie,

i went to another dr and he saw me crying and even though he checked them and said he couldn’t find anything he said he would do me an ultrasound because he thought that’s the only way I’m going to get over it this time because he knew I had seen two other gp’s and still here I was. I got the results and it was all clear thank god! I’m still going to keep seeing my psychologist and dr put me on meds too but I’m not sure if I should take them I’m actually scared to.. I think once u go on it’s very hard to get off? I’m scared because life has its ups and downs and am I always going to be bed ridden and shaking at everything? I have four children and a beautiful husband I want to fight for. How are u feeling? Any change?

I enjoy these little messages makes me feel like I’m not alone in this anxiety. Hope to hear from you soon xx

[Guest_2496]

Hi Ash

That was so kind of that dr and I hope you feel some relief now - wonderful that you've had the scan and it's clear.

I think it's a good idea to keep seeing the psychologist and she/he can help with continuing to feel calmer about your health (mine helps for sure) AND whether to take the meds or not. Sometimes we need them - I can't advise whether you do or not but I can say not to worry about getting off them. They (drs) will taper you off and help you do that, and you will be able to get off don't worry about that! It's often a juggling act finding the right dose and waiting for them to be effective so seeing the dr who prescribed them while you get there, and the psych will help with all that.

I'm doing a bit better too thanks. The psych appt this week brought up some emotional stuff which increased my physical anxiety for a few days. I'm not sleeping well, or eating fabulously, which does nothing for anxiety/stress! but today I'm going to have a massage, and I'm doing more during the day (reading, walking) which is keeping my mind occupied away from myself 🙂

x annie

[Ash81]

Hi Annie,

thats wonderful that you’re doing better! That really made me feel good xx Super proud of you!

Getting a massage that’s the life right there lol! Just that you’re actually making choices to read and go for walks and tuning into things that make you happy is really great.

I have a psych appointment Monday but I just don’t see how chatting to someone once a week/fortnight about the trauma in our lives is going to help me feel less scared? I’m not feeling that positive to be honest about me ever being the ‘come what may’ type.

Yes im feeling better with a positive ultrasound result but still I’m thinking oh ‘what next’ what’s this, what about as winter starts oh the sicknesses then.. !!

I wish I could be normal.. just live without the daily worry for me and my Kids and hubby.

Please take care xxx

[Guest_2496]

Hi Ash

I know what you mean and I definitely felt the same way when I started with this psych. Of course you have to click with them and feel like you're getting on but even then, I'll be honest, for a few weeks I felt worse and questioned whether this would help at all. It's all that telling your life story, dragging up things you don't want to think about or talk about but it's just part of them getting to know you I guess...then for two weeks I started to feel better and she really was helping me (this last week I had to talk about the last piece of the puzzle blech).

It's up and down...not a good day today but it's all part of it yeah? Hope you're having a nice weekend with your family Ash.

annie

[Ash81]

Hi Annie,

hope you’re doing better? Your last post seemed positive and I’m super happy for u.

Ive had 2 appts with my psych just talking and she tested me and said I had high anxiety and depression.. I actually didn’t think I was depressed! Hopefully soon I’ll start to feel better but I still feel like I’m not myself; like there is a cloud over my head.. still thinking every little thing is something sinister! I’m looking into natural stuff (broccoli sprouts, ginger, garlic, honey, black seed oil) to see if I can add them to my diet to hopeyboost my immunity.

Thanks for these chats, it feels good talking to you x please take care.

[Guest_2496]

Hi Ash

I think that when we're going through a period of high anxiety we can register for depression on those tests as our mood is low. I'm sure you'll snap out of that with the things you're doing re anxiety - boosting your immune system etc.

I've been told (a couple of times) everyone has a baseline for stress and then just a tiny thing can push us over into these periods of anxiety so the aim is to reduce stress and then stay under that line.

breathe... 🙂

[Ash81]

Hi Annie,

i was doing better for a few days there and now I’m back in the anxiety ‘hole’ something little like receiving a text saying I’m due for a Pap smear and an itchy bottom (sorry tmi) has me back on the cancer thing.. it’s debilitating. Started taking my meds today after refusing but now I’m so scared always that I think I need it. I’ve become a hypercondriach. My life is great in every other way.. why am I like this I need constant reassurance. Am considering getting a full health check but that takes like 7 hours and frankly I’m scared to do it..