Having Difficulty Telling the Boss About Your Anxiety? Try this! (New Posters Welcome!)

[blondguy]

Hi Everybody. This is just one tip that may help save your job and reduce work related anxiety too!

I had many years of GAD (free floating anxiety) and employers just never understood or cared. Unfortunately profit comes first before a junior or senior employee with an anxiety disorder (not always of course...there are 'some' decent employers that understand)

If you are stuck explaining your anxiety to your manager/supervisor let them know that you have 'this occasional claustrophobic condition' that you get 'even in big spaces'. I have used it successfully many times...It may help you stay employed where telling the truth is not an option

• This works because there is the stigma associated with 'GAD' or 'Anxiety' or 'Panic Attacks'
• This works because managers understand what claustrophobia is....'they get it'
• If you have a meeting or a car trip as a passenger and your anxiety is spiking....let them know about your 'Claustrophobia' not your Anxiety
• Your job security will be enhanced as 'Claustrophobia' is very understood....Mental Illness unfortunately isnt..........yet...

If you have pro-active managers that are understanding re mental illness then please ignore this post....(and good on you!)

This post is for people that suffer anxiety disorder that may lose their job/career and need a more 'comfortable' way of explaining it 🙂

Your thoughts/opinions/queries on this method of informing non caring employers are Welcome!

Thankyou for taking the time to read my post

my kind thoughts

Paul

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi,

This is a great post and so important to start the conversation -

For me personally, I never had that conversation because I never felt that I needed to. I was very lucky in that I developed a good relationship with my managers quickly; so it was pretty common for me to go to them just to say hello and kind of build that trust and connection first so they knew how much I did value my job and want to work there.

I think eventually they caught on that I did struggle with mental health issues (just like many of us do) but it was never a conversation we had directly. I think a lot of people forget to that as employees we do have so many rights in the workplace to protect us even when employers or managers aren't supportive.

When things came up that affected my anxiety or depression, I often tried to negotiate around it; so for me working on switchboard (multi-line telephones and direct customer service) intimidated me more than working in a quiet office, so I talked about how I work better in those sorts of situations. This is kind of easy for managers to understand because everyone has different situations or environments that they just work better in.

When I did have to work on switchboard (or do anything that stressed me out or caused high-anxiety), I tried lots of self-care strategies so that I could manage it as best as I could. Sometimes that was uncomfortable - I would start work earlier and leave later so that I could feel caught up on things, or I'd have to leave the office and sit in the rain just so that I could be alone and process things - but at the end of the day it was worth it because I was putting myself first and making strategies so that I could work as best as I could.

[blondguy]

Hi Moon & Romantic

Hi Moon: I know you are in bad space and I agree with you, there is no way I would let my employer know as the end result would be to our detriment. I hope that you can find the right doc to help you with your pain Moon xo

Hi Romantic: Thanks for responding too! If its okay if I quote you on something you said " I was very lucky in that I developed a good relationship with my managers quickly" Nice1 Romantic and thankyou for your clarity on this one

Moon....I havent been on for a while with family issues..please excuse the delay....I know you have some very real issues happening with your anxiety which are the same as I used to have so I get it...Can I ask how often you are bugging your counsellor/GP?

(Hugs)

Paul xo

[Moonstruck]

Hi again Paul....I was seeing my psych/counsellor each week, then down to every 2 weeks....have been making good progress so we left it a month to check if I was handling the changes I decided to make (e.g. telling boss I was finishing up in near future etc)...my next appt is tomorrow actually.

I KNOW it sounds stupid..in fact the height of stupidity!!..but I sort of "don't want to disappoint" the psych....by telling her when I slip back so much..we were making progress and I felt much better....I sort of feel I'll be "letting her down" if I don't continue getting better!!

If I tell her how low in spirits I have been. How often the words"despair, help me, pain, disaster, confusion, depression, powerlessness" have appeared lately in my journal I keep, usually daily.

Have you heard of anyone else doing this with a Dr or Counsellor before? Not wanting to "disappoint them" by slipping backwards?

(I did get the work started the other day and coped with it OK as usual (on the outside) anyway)

thanks for your valuable support (as usual)....Moon S x

[blondguy]

Hey Moon, your therapist is there for you which you know anyway 🙂

With all respect you therapist wont know how to 'heal' you if you are giving false indicators about not wanting to disappoint her/him.

They are there to heal (best results over many visits over a long period of time) and not to judge you in any way.

They are there to help you but they wont know you are slipping backwards if you dont let them know. What you are going through is common and yes there are many who dont say how low their spirits are and how hard they are doing it.

The less you tell your doc, the longer the recovery period Moon. Keep doing the appointments and I hope you can say it how it (really) is.

Always great to talk to you Moon xo

Paul

[Moonstruck]

Yeah I know that Paul...and you know that I know....I will do it properly I promise.....my last appt couple of days ago went well, she has been good to see and talk to and I told her that.

I am glad the experience has turned out to be a positive one for me. There was one sentence, sort of a "throw away"line actually...I won't say it here as it wouldn't pertain to anyone else probably...just a general comment that had a profound effect!

It was a simple observation, quite commonplace probably to other people.....that simply had not occurred to me before!! I got home and thought..."Fancy that! I never realised that before! I never considered that possibility before about myself!!" It's proved a very useful sentence for me ever since!

just goes to show the power of our words, even in casual conversations sometimes.

[blondguy]

Hey Moon

Thanks for getting back and apologies for the mega delay in responding to you...Ive been offline for a while

For your visit to turn out be a positive one is a mega bonus and good on you. You have always been smart and know what to say and do. The power of words I often underestimate.

Good news is always a huge bonus Moon, I really hope that you are doing reasonably okay 🙂

Paul xo

[CheeseSlices]

I have lost every job I ever had over anxiety. And it has always been a big fat "told you so" from doctors and all others who know I tried. I usually last 6 months, end up in hospital, and then off for months until I want more to life than being housebound/hospitalised. It never works out. I need to heal first, and that will take years 😞 I never stop long enough to heal, because I can never afford to fund healing with no work.

[Moonstruck]

You make a very good point Cheese Slices. How can we heal if we have to add severe money worries and struggles to simply survive materially - to the list of mental challenges? Can I ask if you have received any understanding or support from Centrelink? You do need time to heal - do they, and employers realise this I wonder?

[blondguy]

Hi CheeseSlices

Im sorry that your anxiety is that severe. You must be in a dark place with the intensity of the anxiety symptoms

I was broke years ago and had acute anxiety (couldnt leave the house) It was awful. I contacted my local council and they sent out a mental care worker who ended up being a legend of a psychiatric nurse. They wanted to see me weekly for six months which I did.

There was no charge and they got me back to work, but I to stick to their plan of weekly therapy.

These forums are rock solid secure and safe for you. Even if you just wanted a chat, you are are not alone here in any way.

Moon Thankyou for posting about Centrelink and being here 🙂

my kindest

Paul