Getting through anxiety relapses

[TheatreGal]

Hello 🙂

I’m new to these forums but not new to anxiety. I have experienced 3 significant bouts of anxiety in my life: the first at 16, another in my early 20s (when I first went on an SSRI) and this third, which struck a few months ago, as I rapidly approach the big 4-0.

I don’t know exactly what triggered my latest bout. Just general, ongoing, modern life stress that I neglected to address. The anxiety hit swiftly and packed a real punch. Cue time off work, my Mum moving in with me, adjustments to the amount of my long-term SSRI plus addition of another anti-anxiety medication, lots of crying and my first ever trip in an ambulance to the ER!

I have an amazing support network and over the past few months have been piecing things back together.

Then this week the anxiety really welled up again. I wasn’t expecting it and I’m working on it, but I just wanted to reach out to others who’ve been in this position.

How best did you manage the relapses? How do you fight the feelings of failing and generally being discouraged? How hard did you push yourself to get back to “normal” again?

Appreciate any and all tips and general positive vibes! 🙂

[smallwolf]

TheatreGal,

Hi and welcome to beyond blue.

Sorry to read about the relapse you refer to above. It is good that you have the support of your family, and a support network. I am sure it can make a big difference.

While I cannot say that I have experienced anything exactly like what you have described, I can relate a few things my psych has told me. I am (very) slowly returning back to work after the severe anxiety, depression etc. Things that triggered me before sick leave can still trigger me now. But I also know my limits. And I suspect this is where I might be different to most people here. That is, I can stop work for a hour or two, to calm down. And I have had to! And on more than one occasion. You might notice that it also mean identifying your triggers, when anxiety and stresses rises.

But first, do you still use practice CBT techniques regularly? My psych... She used the analogy of practicing CBT techniques to driving a car. That is, don't just do it when you are feeling down, or the road is wet, slippery, dark, but to also do it when it is sunny, light and dry.

Can you think back to the events that occurred before the anxiety hit? Was there (a) increased responsibilities at home or at work, or (b) More anxious thoughts or (c) an argument or (d) some life change or (e) something else. You said that you could not remember. Do you write/maintain a journal? That might help you work out the things that are triggering you. It may take some time, but if you can find some common triggers in the recent events then you might be able to (re-)apply your distraction and coping tools?

As for distraction and other management tools, you can find these on the forum, but space prevents me adding these here. If you would like me to give you some ideas, please let me know. Remember that you have gotten through this before and you can again. Most importantly be kind to yourself.

Tim

[TheatreGal]

Hi Tim,

Thanks so much for taking the time to reply and offering some great advice. I do wonder if perhaps I had just pushed myself a little too hard on the road to recovery. I had just completed two consecutive weeks back at full-time hours, the first of those was 3 days in the office, 2 days working at home, the next 4 days in the office, 1 day working at home. Maybe this was too much. My workplace has been very much allowing me to dictate my return to work, which is great, but maybe I am pressuring myself to get back to everything too quickly.

I am a person who worries about how my anxiety negatively impacts others, my work colleagues in particular. I think this is probably quite common amongst anxiety sufferers!

One of the main physical symptoms I experience with anxiety is nausea. On Tuesday, while working at home, I did suffer a bad bout of sudden onset nausea. This may have been from any number of causes, but my first instinct is to fear it is anxiety at play. Then I get anxious, making the physical symptoms worse, and creating a vicious cycle. This may have been the trigger for the relapse.

I have discussed this with my Psychologist and will raise it again at my next appointment on Friday. Hopefully we can work together to develop strategies for me to manage this better.

I am probably guilty of not working on my CBT techniques when things are going smoothly, so thank you for the reminder that this is important!

Kez.

[anxietyalien]

Hi there! Not much to input here, but just wanted to say that nausea is one of the biggest things for me, particularly in the past 2 years (or maybe 5 years, or 10 years... the past 2 years everything has increased in frequency/intensity).

I found a book last year (approx last July) called "Hope & Help for your Nerves", by Claire Weekes - and it described the method of "floating" through events of anxiety (or panic attacks - all very similar and related). So for me, after having the all-clear from my GP, all I just had to do was accept and endure (or float, with respects to 'mindfulness'). I've been reassured 2 or 3 times in the past 18 months (3 blood tests/checkups), and just have to accept my suffering, because it just has to be anxiety/depression related... or a combination of benign things, but no doubt provoke and keep anxiety alive - like you were saying, perpetuating the cycle!

I will be keeping my eyes on this thread - very interested to see what you have to share from here on! Thank you.

[TheatreGal]

Hello!

Thanks for posting - it really does help knowing others have a similar experience to yourself! I thought I’d pop back in here after struggling through dinner. Made myself a lovely hearty stew, then when it came time to eat, only managed about half a serving because I was feeling nauseous and anxious! Frustrating! Lots of self talk about staying in control, then I eventually gave up and ate some plain crackers and strawberries. I know I won’t starve, but it is hard not to worry.

The worst has now passed, as it always does. I love the idea you mentioned about floating through the panic. I will investigate that book!

[smallwolf]

TheatreGal,

On returning to work... Like you I was/am able to dictate my return to work. My psychiatrist suggested that I start with 1/2 day a week, and when I was comfortable with that, to increase by 1/2 day etc. The reality for me now is that I am still only at about 16 to 20 hours per week. And that is because there are things that trigger me still. The thing is to be able to recognise the triggers when the occur and work through them. There are times when after I complete something I have to (try to) relax for over an hour (can be two hours) because of the stress. In some respect we need to listen to our bodies.

Another book to look at is "the happiness trap" - one recommended by my psychologist which uses ACT.

Tim

Tim

Tim

[MsPurple]

Hi TheatreGal

I thought I'd share something I found really helpful. It is from Stephen Fry's documentary 'the secret life of a manic depressive'. He used the analogy that mental healthy (for me I use it specifically for anxiety and depression) it is like the weather. Some days it is cloudy, some days it is sunny and other days it is stormy. The weather is really, it is really happening, there is no point denying it or you will get wet. I found it really helpful. It also made me feel less guilty about having a flare up because I can't help it like I can't control the weather.

[TheatreGal]

Thank you for the tips and sharing your own experiences.

I plan to discuss with my psychologist later this week on whether a more gradual return to work program would suit me better. I am trying to quieten the noisy chatter in my head about the impact this will have on my colleagues. They have been nothing but supportive but I struggle with guilt nonetheless! (I will also discuss this - again - with my psychologist.)

Stephen Fry’s analogy about the weather is a great one!

[TheatreGal]

Just thought I would post a short update.

I saw my psychologist on Friday. Felt quite anxious getting there and during the appointment, but we talked through many things and I left the appointment feeling more positive.

Saturday I managed to do my grocery shopping with only mild anxiety and also went for a lovely long walk outdoors.

Sunday I was hit with a very low day, lots of tears.

Yesterday my Mum moved back in for a while, so that I’m not alone through this most challenging time.

Today we went for a walk, not without anxiety, but at least it was some time out of the house.

Tomorrow I see my GP and will discuss what can be done medication-wise, and I also have another appointment with my psychologist.

It’s a bumpy road!

[smallwolf]

TheatreGal,

Yes it is a bumpy road. As long as it is two steps forward and one step back?

My mood after having been to my psych can be up and down. Immediately after a session I feel happy (almost) as though I have gotten a weight off my shoulders. But then the reality sets in, either in the homework that I have to do, or reflect on things I have said, may send me on a downer.

It sounds as though your mum is supportive. That is a good thing. I go over to my parents place each Friday - so that we can chat about how I am going, and other useless things.

When you go for a walk, do you take music with you? or not? The sounds can be distracting and take you away from those negative thoughts. Although I had to change my music recently, as the music I was listening to would not stop the thoughts. So I switched to some Nigel Kennedy and it worked again. Worth trying.

Sending peaceful thoughts,

Tim