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Chris_B Forums etiquette: give support to receive support
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newb... View more

Hi everyone, particularly any new members who may be reading. From time to time, we get contacted by members who are unhappy that they haven’t received a lot of replies to their posts. Our community champions work very hard to make sure that all newbies are welcomed when they first post, and we understand that it’s a big step to post for the first time on a forum like this, especially if you aren’t feeling great. It’s important to remember, though, that these forums are a community of real people, just like you, not a one-on-one support environment like going to see your psychologist. To get the best out of being here, one of the best tips we can offer is give support to receive support. Being a good community member means: participating in different threads (not just your own), replying to people who have taken the time to reply to you (even if it’s just to say thank you), and... posting words of emotional support and encouragement when you see others who are hurting and reaching out. You don’t have to feel obliged to solve the problems of others: that’s not what we’re here for. But you can offer empathy and what you’ve learned from your own life experiences, even if it’s just a line or two, eg. “I don't know what to say, but I want to give you my support and tell you I care about what is happening to you and hope life will get better soon.” Try to develop an interest in the journeys of others here on the forums. You may be surprised at how good being an active, caring member here can make you feel. For those of you who have had good experiences giving support here on the forums, please post in this thread here and let us know how it has helped you on your journey.

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Volar 13 Years and still anxious - tips?
  • replies: 4

Hi All, I wanted to start by giving a background... I grew up with great family and friends, and nothing from my past really was stressful or bad. My parents are very liberal meaning that drinking from a young age was allowed, which didn't interest m... View more

Hi All, I wanted to start by giving a background... I grew up with great family and friends, and nothing from my past really was stressful or bad. My parents are very liberal meaning that drinking from a young age was allowed, which didn't interest me much. They also smoke (not cigarettes) which is something I seemed to enjoy a lot more, no hangover or loss of control etc. Most/all of my friends got into smoking and other stuff pretty early on and yet still managed to be A students, ending up at good Universities and now all have good/well paid jobs. I used to smoke most days for 8ish years and at weekends do other stuff. I then decided one day to stop it all as I was bored of it....still no anxiety. One summers day after a few drinks I went to a shop and bought a "legal high," thinking by this point in my life not much could really affect me I took it...an hour went past and then I started being sick, sweating and feeling very unwell. I decided to take myself home, where I spent the next 8 hours shivering and throwing up. This is where my anxiety started...every morning for 6ish months I would wake up and want to throw up and I would shiver myself to sleep every night. At work it felt like the screen was moving around and had this constant "root" down my throat and in my stomach making me want to gag. I spoke to friends and professionals who all asked "what are you anxious about?" The answer...nothing, apart from the feeling of being anxious. I remembered a few relaxation techniques I had learnt as a kid - slow breathing and think of somewhere you feel relaxed (beach under a palm tree, with my hand in the sand). This seemed to get me through most days when things were bad. My brother then committed suicide after battling with being bi-polar, all of a sudden my anxiety was gone (perhaps the shock cleared my thought paths). I now have a good job, great wife/friends and am healthy and fit. I still go through patches of anxiety and depression, but they are less frequent/severe. When the anxiety comes I tell myself I can get through it, use the relaxation techniques and I always do. The worst bit about anxiety for me is the physical feeling (the "root") that makes you feel sick, faint, heart racing and want to gag and unfortunately after 13 years I still don't know how to cope with this and you can't tell people about it or be labeled as mad etc. Anyone got any tips?

maryjg Anxiety before starting new job
  • replies: 2

I recently accepted a new job offer and gave 4 weeks notice of resignation at my current job. I have been at my current job for more than 2 years. Ever since that day I have been feeling anxious and having obsessive thoughts about changing jobs and w... View more

I recently accepted a new job offer and gave 4 weeks notice of resignation at my current job. I have been at my current job for more than 2 years. Ever since that day I have been feeling anxious and having obsessive thoughts about changing jobs and worrying that I’ve made a bad career move, or that I will hate the new job or be bad at it, and then lose the job and be unemployed. I’ve been crying at lunch time and constantly talking about it. It’s partly a fear of change; even though I didn’t love my current job it became familiar and I knew what to expect and knew what I was doing. Its partly a fear of the uncertain/unknown because I won’t know exactly what the job will be like until I start. And as it is a newly created position no one really knows at this stage. Also I won’t know I am secure in the job until after the 6 month probation. I have a month until I start this job! I don’t want to feel this way for 4 weeks and then potentially have it get worse when I start!

TheatreGal Getting through anxiety relapses
  • replies: 10

Hello I’m new to these forums but not new to anxiety. I have experienced 3 significant bouts of anxiety in my life: the first at 16, another in my early 20s (when I first went on an SSRI) and this third, which struck a few months ago, as I rapidly ap... View more

Hello I’m new to these forums but not new to anxiety. I have experienced 3 significant bouts of anxiety in my life: the first at 16, another in my early 20s (when I first went on an SSRI) and this third, which struck a few months ago, as I rapidly approach the big 4-0. I don’t know exactly what triggered my latest bout. Just general, ongoing, modern life stress that I neglected to address. The anxiety hit swiftly and packed a real punch. Cue time off work, my Mum moving in with me, adjustments to the amount of my long-term SSRI plus addition of another anti-anxiety medication, lots of crying and my first ever trip in an ambulance to the ER! I have an amazing support network and over the past few months have been piecing things back together. Then this week the anxiety really welled up again. I wasn’t expecting it and I’m working on it, but I just wanted to reach out to others who’ve been in this position. How best did you manage the relapses? How do you fight the feelings of failing and generally being discouraged? How hard did you push yourself to get back to “normal” again? Appreciate any and all tips and general positive vibes!

perfectparalysis Possible disorder hurting me and my family
  • replies: 3

I am seeking for some advice on what I should be doing about some internal struggles I have been having for years. I feel like there is some kind of obsessive disorder that I am struggling with. I don't want anyone to have to do anything but I get an... View more

I am seeking for some advice on what I should be doing about some internal struggles I have been having for years. I feel like there is some kind of obsessive disorder that I am struggling with. I don't want anyone to have to do anything but I get angry (because I'm physically tired) that no one helps. They tell me I say "no I will do that, let me help you" when I should be letting them do it to save me time. I also have a problem starting or finishing complex things because I keep trying to restart it a better way or abstract away the details to make a system for doing it next time when I shouldn't need worry about that. I have strong tendencies for procrastination and don't like conforming to ways of doing things other people tell me, I need to come up with it myself. I reinvent the wheel often. I can't keep living like this. I am the sole provider for my wife and 4 kids. I help my wife with her side businesses but I'm slowly getting behind in everything so I stay up later and later and am going to bed at 2/3am and getting up help get kids ready at 7am and get to work. Money is tight, and while we have bills and mortgage other bills covered and systems in place to manage any unforeseen problems, it's always a constant stress to me. I can't stop this obsession and need to before my physical health starts deteriating.

Timmy-two-hearts First full-time job
  • replies: 4

Hi all, First of all, thank you for beyond blue for having this place for me and like minded people to vent and find eachother to lean on. I am 26, have diagnosed anxiety and depression and have recently just got a job offer for my first full-time jo... View more

Hi all, First of all, thank you for beyond blue for having this place for me and like minded people to vent and find eachother to lean on. I am 26, have diagnosed anxiety and depression and have recently just got a job offer for my first full-time job. Up until now I have done uni and run my own business(very flexible). But I needed more stable income and I dove right in. Now that I have the job offer I am freaking out. I don't know if I can do this. Work everyday for the rest of my life. The commute (public transport) will be 4 hours a day and work hours are 8.30-5.00. Then there is the work.. I don't know if I can do it.. new people, new everything. The prospect alone makes me so nervous and break down into tears. I'm a mess. All types of thoughts are coming back and I don't know if I can do this. Help Tim

startingnew Super duper Anxious!!!
  • replies: 21

Hi guys im so so so anxious, like im going to explode. its driving me crazy and i cant get it under control ive been working on this all day inlcuding a helpline who told me to 'just use your coping strategies'. i have been and its just not helping. ... View more

Hi guys im so so so anxious, like im going to explode. its driving me crazy and i cant get it under control ive been working on this all day inlcuding a helpline who told me to 'just use your coping strategies'. i have been and its just not helping. ive tried breathing, exercise, a shower, playing with the animals, baking, my physio exercises, chilling to watch a tv show. it just keeps escalating no matter what i do! i dont have PRN medications either, and my supports are leaving so i dont have any of those yet until i find others to replace them. i dont know what else to do, its driving me up the walls esp internally. i feel so out of control. any suggestions anyone!?

Kate44 Post wedding anxiety
  • replies: 2

Hi all I have posted here before but have had my anxiety under control for quite a few months however I recently got married and life was pretty hectic in the lead up to that. I felt great in the lead up but I was looking forwards to having some more... View more

Hi all I have posted here before but have had my anxiety under control for quite a few months however I recently got married and life was pretty hectic in the lead up to that. I felt great in the lead up but I was looking forwards to having some more free time after the wedding. 2 days after the wedding I had one of the worst panic attacks I’ve ever had and have since been left literally feeling dizzy almost 24/7 a day. I know it’s a symptom of my anxiety but No matter what techniques I use to manage it it won’t go away and I’m now exhausted because it’s always there. I simply can’t spend every waking moment feeling dizzy, I’m thinking of making a doctors appointment as my GP is quite good but he is unavailable for the next 2 weeks. Should I see someone new or wait it out? My anxiety is at its worst when I’m at work as I tend to have time to think about it. My work does not distract me enough to forget about it and I feel like my performance is suffering. We have so many people away that I feel bad taking any time off.

Shellwin Anxious, scared & sad
  • replies: 4

Ok, where to even begin. i have , for as long as I can remember felt different. I don’t fit in with the mainstream (and don’t really want to) and find it difficult in social situations, although I fake it. Smile, chat etc etc & go home exhausted. I h... View more

Ok, where to even begin. i have , for as long as I can remember felt different. I don’t fit in with the mainstream (and don’t really want to) and find it difficult in social situations, although I fake it. Smile, chat etc etc & go home exhausted. I have always had bouts of sadness & feelings of “what’s the point” my mind is always questioning everything & trying to find reason in the things we’re supposed to do & the things society expects of us. I self medicated a lot in my youth but just suffered through it as I got older. I was taking medication for 3 years but that just made me feel numb. So I’m not on anything at the moment. I wish I could be happy. I feel my mental state is so ingrained in me that it is actually me and can’t be changed. I wish I could take a holiday from myself. i see other people enjoying life & being happy & im just here like Is there a secret reset to factory settings button located somewhere on the human body, coz that’d be great. I hate that my brain works against me. Why can’t we be friends. I need to learn how to play these cards I’ve been dealt & how to beat the game it’s playing, at the moment I’m running around with a fist full of crumpled ass cards screaming WHAT THE FRICK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS!! WHAT A CRAP HAND! Anyhoo, I need help but I don’t know where to even begin. Maybe I’ll just take another nap. rant over. thanks for listening. Fin

Thunderdog Can you ever be "cured"of Social Anxiety?
  • replies: 3

Hi, So I have social anxiety and I'm really down in the dumps about it now. I've been struggling with this for my whole life, I'm now 24. Talked to various specialists over the last 6 months and I am now on meds. The last 6 months I have never been w... View more

Hi, So I have social anxiety and I'm really down in the dumps about it now. I've been struggling with this for my whole life, I'm now 24. Talked to various specialists over the last 6 months and I am now on meds. The last 6 months I have never been worse... And by social anxiety I mean vomiting food back up if I eat around people, just vomiting in general or fainting at parties or before public speaking, never knowing what to say in groups and just stay quiet, plus all the other normal symptoms like sweating, hyperventilating etc. People think I just prefer being alone or I'm arrogant but I've now realised that all I really want is to be social. Its just the anxiety which prevents me because its so repulsing to feel that way. Generally they say I need to accept that I'm just an introverted person but I don't think I am. On rare occasions I've been the classic socialite at parties with people I don't know, then other times on the brink of a panic attack just being out with my brother who I trust more then anyone. I have a friend who is one of the most outgoing people I know but tells me they were really shy and only ever had one friend in school, this just seems crazy to me. So my question is can the social anxiety go away? Can it be beaten or is it something that will always linger and I just have to learn to live with/manage? I understand that everyone gets shy and nervous in some situations but most people don't loose their lunch at a family reunion. I feel like if the SA goes away it will make me a more likeable person which will help with getting a social group which will help the depression and boost the confidence and so on. Thanks

LostonaForum Should I Face My OCD
  • replies: 2

I have been diagnosed with depression and PTSD both of which I am medicated for and see a psychologist about, but there is one diagnosis that I chose to ignore and that's OCD. This one came to me as a surprise because I hear people go "I have a littl... View more

I have been diagnosed with depression and PTSD both of which I am medicated for and see a psychologist about, but there is one diagnosis that I chose to ignore and that's OCD. This one came to me as a surprise because I hear people go "I have a little OCD" or "I'm OCD about this" so I assumed that my rules and cleanliness came down to little quirks of mine. When I found out I had OCD it did kinda click and it did make sense but I didn't want it to go away because when everything is the way it should be I feel calm and a great sense of peace washes over me that when I think about no longer having that feeling I get kinda tense and choose to ignore the idea of addressing my problem. Today though I had a panic attack because someone put milk into my clear glass mug (even thinking about it makes me sick) it should be noted that I live with roommates and although they share plates and cooking equipment I own my own set of everything which only I can use. I have a rule that water based drinks can only be drunken from clear glass cups and milk based drinks can only be drunken from non-see through clay or porcelain like mugs and cups. This to me makes sense and feels right but when someone messed up my system it felt like my cup became contaminated and now i'll have to wash it out fairly rigorously to use it again. For the first time I realized how obsessive I can be. Looking around in my bedroom it shows up again with my bed being made a certain way and everything being placed on my desk at a certain angle on a particular spot. But I feel scared to lose my OCD because I've had it for so long that it's one of the only ways I have to cope with everything else in my life. P.S. I'm incredibly embarrassed about my OCD so please be kind.