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Freaking out - fear of male doctors & I have an appointment tomorrow

TheBigBlue
Community Member

Without going into detail, an incident with a male doctor when I was a child has resulted in a fear of male doctors well into my adulthood. I am female.

My GP has now referred me to a psychiatrist as she feels a psychiatrist will be able to assess medication & doses better than she.

Tonight I am really freaking out about alone in the room with a male doctor. I’ve googled him, & probably due to my anxiety have already decided I don’t like the look of him. We all know the joys of anxiety right????

I discussed my fear with the (female) psychologist in the appointment I had on Tuesday & she has given me some tips on how to prepare & what information I should consider discussing & what outcomes I am looking for.

I have even resorted to asking my mother to come with me I am that terrified about it. She won’t come in the room but I feel better knowing she will be out in the waiting room.

i know it’s a very last minute post, but if anyone has any advice please let me know.

Thanks friends

9 Replies 9

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello BigBlue...

I’m like you and cannot be in a room with just me and a male..I have a female Dr...Once she was on holidays and I needed a prescription...The only Dr. available was a male...

I asked one of the nurses that works in those small medical centre if she could come in with me ..she did....

It made me feel more safer and comfortable while I was with him...

Maybeyou could I ask a nurse working their, or the receptionist ...if that’s possible....or maybe a friend of yours could go in with you...

kind thoughts sent with my love and hugs...🤗💜

Grandy..

Thanks Ggrand,

i actually just used the online chat here with a counsellor so I’m feeling a little better. They gave me some additional services I can contact if I need too.

Now I need to try & get some sleep so I’m not a complete train wreck tomorrow......

RJ_3
Community Member
Good luck Big Blue, I hope everything goes well for you and it isn't nearly as traumatic as you're fearing it will be. Anxiety is certainly all consuming at times but the fact you've asked for help dealing with it, and you're still going to the appointment says a lot about how strong you are xx

TheBigBlue
Community Member

Oh geez.

Im so scared I feel sick. I’m shaking, my heart is racing, I can’t stop crying & I feel like I’m going to throw up.

if this is how I’m feeling before I even leave the house I’m not sure how I am going to get through this session.

excuse my language but that doctor from when I was a kid has stuffed up my life up.

my mum will be here shortly so I’ll be ok with some support (she doesn’t know what happened though & I don’t intend to tell her).

wish me luck, I need your support to get me through this

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello BigBlue...🤗..

Im Wishing you all the courage, good luck I have..

In spirit I will be with you holding your hand lovely one..

Deep breathing is helpful...Sweetheart....I usually take my little grounding satchel with me to help me relax...I’m sorry your struggling so much...I wish I could go with you...

Sending you my love, care, and some warm hugs..💜💜🤗🤗...

Most doctors are caring people...

Love Grandy..

RJ_3
Community Member
Hi Big Blue
I hope you're okay after today. If you're up to it, let us know how you got on. Thinking of you.

TheBigBlue
Community Member

Hi All,

Thanks for your replies.

I managed to calm down by the time we had some lunch before my appointment.

I wasn’t entirely comfortable, but he was a decent doctor. We went over all the stuff that has happened recently, then he asked if there was anything else going on. I said yes but that I wasn’t comfortable discussing it. I told him it was an incident with a male doctor & started crying & explained how terrified I was to come see him today because he was a male doctor &he said I didn’t have to tell him, but maybe down the track I would share the story.

Maybe I will, maybe I won’t......

So I will go back, even though I didn’t feel entirely comfortable but he did say I definitely need more support. And he adjusted my meds dosage & gave me some things I need to do/tasks before our next appointment.

I just feel super emotionally drained & depressed now. Too much thinking about past traumas.

But tomorrow is a new day, hopefully it will be better

Ggrand
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hello BigBlue..

Well done..I’m so proud of you..It took a lot of courage what you done today..I could only image how emotionally tired you are...

Im pleased you opened up a little to your Dr..he seems to be a caring person, and recognised you need more support..I hope he will help you in finding more support...

Have you tried listening to sleep stories for grown ups..they are soothing and relaxing and if you try hard to listen to the story..and not think of anything else...hopefully you will fall into a deep relaxing sleep...I like Dan Jones..sleep stories the best..he has a soothing voice..maybe something you might feel to try if your mind is chatty...

Good night BigBlue..I hope you have a refreshing sleep...You’re so right..tomorrow is new day..a new start..

Love and hugs..💜🤗.

Grandy....

RJ_3
Community Member
Hi Big Blue

I'm so glad you managed to go and to tell him some of your story. Like he said, maybe if / when you feel you can trust him you might be able to share more and feel better. I can only imagine how exhausted you must feel. Please look after yourself.

RJ xx