First time here....waking with anxiety

[BlueSunrise]

Hi, (haven't used a forum for years so hope I'm doing this right?)

I chose the name BlueSunrise cos' that's pretty much how it is. If I wake up during the night I'm fine but when I open my eyes and the sun is up the panic hits me. It's like a sudden adrenalin rush to my stomach, that feeling of dread hits me, the thoughts start racing around my head and I do my best to stay in bed as long as possible (as I feel safe in bed) but when the alarm goes off to tell me it's time to get up and start the day it gets even worse. I do what I have to, I get my son ready for school (he's 6yrs old) but it's such an effort, I sort of feel paralyzed and just want to sit and do nothing but I feel being a mother is my only success so for him, I get thru it. As the day goes on it becomes less of a panic feeling to just anxiety, unless something happens during the day to cause a panic attack, it generally eases by night but then I have the dread of going to sleep knowing that it's going to start all over again when I wake. I'm on a lot of medications which obviously aren't working but am having troubles coming off them as the withdrawals are 'hell' for me. I've started seeing a psychologist which I'm finding really good, he's helping me work through it. I do see a psychiatrist but all he seems to do is talk about my medications, I have had to stop benzodiazepines because it brought back my addiction problems (that's a whole other story for another time,) am currently trying to come off antidepressants as in the 6months I've been on it I have put on about 20kilos which is causing me to feel very depressed and not wanting my partner to come near me. He is very understanding which is great but he has his own problems with depression.

Sorry if I have rambled on, I tend to do that. Thanks for listening.

BlueSunrise

[strangebrew]

I have a lot of problems with anxiety when I wake up too. if I wake up during the night and I can see its still dark I feel safe knowing I have a few hours in my bed before getting up. but as soon as that alarm goes off I feel full of dread and feel like death. I have ended up taking a lot of sick days just from purely not being able to coax myself out of bed. my wife and I now sleep in separate rooms, not beause we are having problems but due to my anxiety and need for a sanctuary and safe place. she is understanding which is good.

 occasionally I will have a good day when I wake up ok but those can be few and far between. most of he time I am able to convince myself that once I get up and get moving I am usually ok. but nevertheless its still a daily struggle but its my life. I think whatever you can do to help cope better in the mornings and remember the anxiety for what it is.