feeling alone and unhappy with who i am

[steviewonder87]

Hi all this is Steven here and I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like my happiness is slowly going away and all that is left is hurt and pain. Starting to be ashamed at the person I am. My aniexty that I have I thought I could mange and be alright with but today something so simple happen that really hurt me and made me upset. To anyone who knows me they think it be silly but its not. I have been in a battle with this all my life but these last few years have been the best but this year as it comes to an end has been the worst year for me. I lost the love of my life. My first real relationship and I feel it was because of the person I am. From that my heart has been shattered and my happiness has not been the same. All I have now is this hurt and pain. I feel like my dream of wanting to get married and have family is never going to happen now. I am going to be alone rest of my life that's how it feels. Nothing I feel as much as I try and try as I have I still dealing with this and it a battle that I just don't know how to handle anymore. I don't want this anxiety anymore. I don't want to be shy and quit anymore. I want someone special to love me and who would want to build something special with. I want to be happy overall. Just don't know what to do anymore.  

[Chicken_Wings]

Hi Steven,

Its so good that you're reaching out for help, have you also spoken to your GP? if not can I suggest that you start your recovery there? A good GP will listen to what's been happening and can provide you with options such as medication or a mental health I plan which gives you access to subsidised psychology sessions through Medicare.

I know you feel hopeless and lost, I know because I've been there too. My husband and I broke up and I felt like that was it, that was the last person who was going to love me and I'd lost my chance at happiness. I found the thing that helped the most was talking, to friends and to family. It wasn't instant, but I began to feel better about myself when I realised how many people cared, I always thought I was pretty alone.

Can I suggest you make sure you keep looking after yourself. Even if you don't feel like it. Take walks, go to the park, eat healthy, drink plenty of water. It sounds simple but it really makes a difference. And when you take care of yourself you look better, so you'll feel better about yourself.

I know you want to find someone to love, but make sure you love yourself too (cheesy I know).

Never let anyone tell you that your anxiety makes you not worthy of love. I know it's hard to accept, but if you honestly think your relationship ended because of your anxiety then maybe that wasn't the right relationship? How does that saying go? "if you can't handle me at my worst you don't deserve me at my best". 

None of us want this anxiety, it's crap and I too wish it would just go away. Life would be so much easier. But remember you are not alone, there are a world of people out there who understand everything you are feeling right now and we promise you that you can beat this.

[steviewonder87]

had time to reflect on things and talked to others about it and really helped put things clear. Doing much better than where I was few days ago. Think was just one of those days where I just let everything I had bottled up come to the surface. Hopefully now I will remain strong and take it one step at a time