Feel very alone

[finjake]

I feel like no one understands the way I feel. I feel like the universe is forcing me to be alone when I'm scared to. When I'm home alone I feel so alone and afraid. I'm afraid that something bad will happen to me and no one will be here to help me. I am terrified of dying, I become obsessed with it and its complex because it confuses me I want to die but I'm petrified and I want to live. Every little symptom I have I'm afraid something is happening with my health and I'm dying and I always think the worst. Then when I'm out and I'm around people I want to be alone because I feel alone then too. I guess I'm writing this because maybe someone somewhere out there in the world will understand me and tell me I'm not crazy, that I'm not alone and that I'm safe. It's getting so hard to be inside my body. Its exhausting I just want to be free from this paranoia.

[DorianGray]

I understand that feeling 100%. Not wanting to be alone and then when you are around people wanting to be alone.

What I've learnt from my time here is we are not alone, we are not crazy, and there are people here that will help and give you great advice.

Believe me I know it's hard but you are not alone.

[white knight]

Hi and welcome

Ive had that same issue, I like talking to ithers but enjoy solitude. So I've found the happy medium.

I won't engage in community projects like tree planting but I'll volunteer to paint a hall by myself. I won't get involved in local politics or other contraversal issues but I'll be a handyman to elderly people we know.

Where it involves clubs and groups, there is usually a certain chemistry going on that we may or may not connect with. Don't be ashamed by this. Just as some find their comfort zone in the inner circle, others don't.

Google...Topic: ostracised?, who's fault is it?- beyondblue

On the topic of dying. We humans are highly intelligent creatures and we are aware that death is inevitable and most of us are indeed scared of it and that is quite normal IMO.

So what's the answer to this?. Well firstly, therapy by professionals to discuss this and other issues is the way to go.

Getting your thoughts into proper perspective and relaxing by certain exercuses does work and there's no quick fix.

Youre welcome to repost. Many of our members repost often .

Tony WK

[Nikkir]

Hi Finjake,

Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us:) I completely hear you and it sounds normal to me, I like being alone, but then I don't like being alone. I want people around me, but I don't know how to get people then they annoy me. I do feel scared alone and anxious sometimes that i am so alone in the world. The only thing I can't relate to is the fear of dying, its living that I find challenging not that i would push my luck if you know what I mean. It sounds like a bit of anxiety around this, have you spoken to your GP? maybe medication or some therapy may help. Mindfulness and CBT. Get the "smiling Minds app' or Mindfulness apps. Sometimes we have triggers and we don't even know why. The person I care for has anxiety a bit similar to yours. I will come home and she has called an ambulance or has a blood pressure cuff on because she thought she was dying. Just know there is help out there, so many techniques, supports, medications and free sessions of therapy. Also here we are, you are not alone and many others experience what you do ( not to discount your distress) but to say we are all in this together. Call us on 1300 224636 or Lifeline 13 111 4 or connect online, we would love to hear from you ! Best Wishes Nikkir x

[kanga_brumby]

Finjake for years I lived in a Flat the only time I had contact with anyone was when I visited them. I often felt they didn't want me around when I did visit. Even my own family. I often felt I was a burden on all. Then my farther worked out why I was the first to arrive and the last to leave. Loneliness . Believe me it's all what it's cracked up to be. He found out by chance ( unfortunately his wife my mother died which left him all alone). Now I have got a bit older and my health has got worse I have had to go into an old age home. Most of the people here are from china I cannot speak there language and they don't speak mine. My relatives or children don't visit so I am alone with my thoughts. It has been up to me to keep up my sprits up not an easy job with all these ppl not supporting me at all when I have been on call for them. I will still be around for them in an advisory copasity.