Feel like I’m not doing enough with my life

[Rose.8]

I am 21 still live at home, currently enrolled at university and I work a casual job, I’m doing 14 hours of class a week not including the time it takes to do my assignment, sometimes I freelance photography work for extra money… I help my parents with house work, grocery shopping ect, I’m basically the only one that cleans the house…..  I also work around 12 hours at my casual job which is not a lot compared to some people, but that’s where I stress, I feel like I’m not doing enough? People I work with seem to always be picking up shifts wherever they can whereas I say no when I’m asked to come in last minute. I don’t say no all the time but when I do I feel so so guilty even if I actually have 5 assignments due and I can’t work or I’m out with friends. I know I could say yes but I feel like I get burnt out so quickly….. am I just being lazy? Do I need to stop having a sook and just work? I’ve been asked to work tonight and I don’t want too….. I need to prepare for class tomorrow, do assignments and I also need to find an internship for uni. 

anyone else get an overwhelming amount of guilt saying no? I hope this makes sense, I don’t want to come across as a privileged sook who still lives with parents and doesn’t want to do anything with her life…. 

[ecomama]

Hi Rose.8, a warm welcome to the forums! 

It's so nice to have you here. 

Yes plenty of us getting a bad feeling for saying NO to people. 
It's also an underused word by so many of us. 

You do NOT come across as that person you described in your last sentence! Heavens! 

Bringing it right back to you. 
Prioritise what's IMPORTANT for you to do. 

There are plenty of people that can take shifts. Even if there aren't? It's not really your problem, sorry but it isn't. 

What YOU are tasked with, is doing what no one else can do.
Your Uni work being one. No one else can do that! 

You turn up for your scheduled shifts. That's enough. 
You don't even need to give a REASON for saying no. 

I even encouraged my teens living at home, and juggling similar to you, to "N/A" for specific days or nights of the week, so they can get their lives back! 

So if we roll it all the way back, looking after your health and mental health is the most important priority. 
Finding or maintaining some type of mental health will always include our ability to say no to people. 

Practice this, it's a great life long skill to have. 

Thankyou for continuing your studies. 
You're helping to make our society better to have trained people in the work force. 

Love EM

[Rose.8]

Thank you. 
Im always stuck in my own head saying “it’s ok to say no” but then I’m like “but I need money for the future” and then “it’s ok I’m still a student… who cares worlds ending anyway” and then  “but everyone else works so hard and I don’t, I won’t be able to buy a house”

🤯🤯🤯 I’m always fighting with myself and then I end up feeling like I’m not doing enough  

[Petal22]

Hi Rose 8,

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

Its ok to say no.

People pleasing really isn’t needed this way you are looking after yourself and your own mental health.

[ecomama]

Hey Rose, 

Take a breath. It's ok. You don't have to achieve ALL of your life's goals today.
I know this lol. You do too.  

You're at Uni and freaking out about buying a HOUSE? 
Can you reign that in? 

Focusing on YOU and your Degree is plenty! Having a part time job is great! 

In the FUTURE you'll secure a job. 

Even now and certainly in your future, you can look at lots of great ideas about WHERE your money goes. 
You can borrow a book from the Library (or purchase it if you want to), called "The Barefoot Investor". 
It's NOT targeting Uni Students, not at all, but it does have tons of great info to help guide anyone wanting to be better off financially. 

For now, it's probably be best to focus on one goal at a time. 
Two if you count Uni. 
Saying NO is one. 

Have you studied Ancient History? 
It helps us understand that people have been saying "the world's going to end" for Millenia. 
I understand WHY you think this, and don't blame you thinking this ofcourse.
It's just not a helpful thought for anyone to have. 

Looking after yourself is THE best thing you can do for your future. You'll get to be a golden oldie like ME! hahaha. 

Take care precious
EM

[Beeee]

Hello Rose.8,

Thank you for sharing and I can definitely relate to how you're feeling. I'm also 21, living at home, studying and working a little. Recently I took on a lot of different extracurriculars because I felt like I wasn't doing enough. In the end I felt burnt out, unmotivated and stressed.

Sometimes saying no is important. I can see from your post that you have committed yourself to a lot of different things and while I can understand why you might be feeling guilty saying no, prioritising your health and wellbeing is just as important. Everyone is at a different point in their lives and has different limits. Just do the best you can, you're still young and have your whole life ahead of you to work. Take a break every now and then and practice some self-care!

Wishing the best,

Beeee

[Baileysmells]

Oh hell yea it’s normal to feel like that, but some of us just can’t deal with so much at the same time. Work + Uni is tough and 12 hours seems pretty decent to me.

The people around you wouldn’t expect so much from you as you’d expect. If you were in their position- wouldn’t *you* allow some leeway to them if they were studying to better their life?

something to think about, kick some ass at school. Good luck.

[Petal22]

Just allow things to flow Rose 8.

Life isn’t a competition we are all travelling our own journey in our own time.