Feel like I'm losing my mind

[Merkles]

Hey guys,

First post here, I am a 26 year old Male who suffers from anxiety. I've always been an overthinker and a constant worrier, however lately I feel like I am getting worse, however I am not sure if that's the case, or if it's just the anxiety making me think it.

For maybe the past 2 years or so I've been suffering with bad brain fog, I feel like my thoughts aren't clear and that my memory isn't as good as it used to be. This brain fog is scaring me as I think this is the beginning of me losing my mind and not being myself anymore.

The best way to describe it is that I feel like I am zoned out 24/7, and that I always feel tired even though I get plenty of sleep each night. Not sure if it's my imagination or not, but I feel much more zoned out when I am surrounded by bright lights?

A part of me is thinking that maybe there is something wrong with my brain physically, another part of me thinks it's all anxiety and that I need to find a way to cope with it.

I am very anxious to visit my doctor again as I see him all the time for various different things (Health anxiety) He probably thinks I'm a lunatic..

Could this be depression? as I don't feel like I have anything to be overly depressed about, I don't feel sad, I don't really feel anything, I feel like I just float through life, I feel like I'm going crazy 😞

The only thing that seems to take the edge off is alcohol and benzos, however I don't want to end up dependent on those.

Not really sure what I am looking for by posting here, I guess I just wanted to vent and see if anyone else suffers the same, or has hopefully found a way to deal with similar issues.

I just want to get back to my old self who enjoyed each day and could think clearly, each day feels like it gets harder and harder.

Thanks for reading.

[Hang10]

Hi Merkles

Welcome to Beyond Blue champion.

I had something like that where I knew my brain was different to the regular brain. I was like you had large amount of anxiety. Got confused easy, overthink too much and had troubles getting rid of the fog or cloud in my brain.

I was scared to find out. I had a lot of childhood problems growing up but no one pin point on what it was. I was finding things difficult and things were hard for me to understand.

I went thru my early adult life carrying this. And felt more alone as trying to progress my life with this fog was difficult and very slow moving forward.

I too was drinking. Too help me try and clear the oddness of my brain and it worked at the time but sadly it hurt me emotionally as I was crying after drinking as it made me more fragile.

I end up seeing a doctor as I was getting a bit dangerous depressed. I found out that I was mildly autistic and had Aspergers. I end up talking to other adults with this and this help me with my fog and bubble brain I was in. As I looked back my childhood problems were to do with this syndrome. I hope that you find the answers for you and find the courage to speak to your doctor about the fog you talking about. I not saying your autistic but their will be an answer and once your know you can more easier move forward and grow when you have more wisdom with what happening with your brain.

All my very best.

Hang10

[Hugoosey]

Hello hi

Honestly that post sounds like something I'd write, even as i'm writing this I dont feel fully present and really tired. Brain fog is so terrible it makes me feel like I'm dumb or like I have aspergers, I dunno but I wouldent worry about it getting worse I mean dont take my advice as the only advice to ever exist but heres my perspective/advice..trust me it kinda just stays the same and theres moments where I feel more present but then its like my brain goes back to being submerged in a thick oily ocean.

Yeah you are most likely still yourself underneath the fog, I mean that thing you said about bright lights is true, I'm extremely light sensitive and when in supermarkets sometimes the whole place has this slight grey haze or ironically enough 'fog' layered over everything. I mean that is totally subjective to me probably but maybe theres a connection between bright lights and the way you feel about this? I'm constantly tired even if I sleep for ages, I think being depressed can make you feel tired(maybe), I'm not officially diagnosed with depression or anything but there are moments where I cant even get out of my chair or lift my arms.

definately dont take alcohol or anything, it just makes it worse because when you drink you feel dreamy because the booze slows down your brain, so if you already feel dreamy than that really wont help.

good post though, I usually cant relate to people easily but your post rang some bells, my advice is probably worry less about feeling dreamy or tired because it doesn't get worse it kinda just stays the same, look up derealisation or depersonalisation if you havent already, its probably the closest sounding thing to what we think we have.

cheers, look forward to hearing back

[manoody92]

Hi! I also get this feeling around bright lights. Especially in shopping centres. It’s like I’m completely detached from the rest of the world.l

I hope that makes you feel better knowing that someone else experiences the same thing.

Maybe tell your doctor? For me it’s mostly anxiety based but I do take anti depressants at the moment.

[Merkles]

Thank you for the replies guys, it really does help knowing it's not just me.. such a scary thing at times.

I don't believe I have autism, I mean as a kid and teenager I never really felt this way and I don't seem to have many of the symptoms?

The major concern for me is that it's going to get worse, I think I could cope if I knew that it wouldn't. Some days seem a lot better than others too, not sure why that could be?

Looked up Depersonalisation, can relate to some of those symptoms, especially the one 'Head wrapped in cotton'

I feel a lot more at ease when I'm around people too, seems a lot worse when I'm by myself, not sure if others also feel this

I think I'll need to muster up the courage to visit my doctor and take it from there.

Thanks for the replies again guys, has made me feel a little more relaxed.

[SammyD100]

Hi Merkles

Well done to you, posting about your worries and thoughts - you probably felt a bit anxious and unsure about posting but from the support and responses you've received, it's evident that your post resonated with people!

I'm responding from the perspective of a Psychology Masters student - so I guess you could say there's a bit of self-interest in this. But I honestly do think you would benefit a lot from seeing a Psychologist! I would recommend you do go back to see your GP. You say your GP knows you well due to your Health Anxieties so I'm sure your GP would be happy to refer you to a Psychologist under a Mental Health Care Plan. Through this you have access to a minimum of six Medicare-rebated sessions with a Psychologist. (As a side note, health anxieties are actually a recognised mental health disorder, like Anxiety and Depression etc - not sure if you were aware of that? But no, this does not make you a 'lunatic'!).

Some of the thoughts you are describing should definitely respond well to a CBT-based treatment, in which a very practical, problem-solving approach is used to challenge your thoughts and expose you to different ways of thinking and approaching situations.

As you have acknowledged, using substances like alcohol and medication may make you feel better in the short-time, but in the long term it can essentially become an avoidant strategy that doesn't actually help improve your situation. You mention not wanting to become dependent on these and you're right, the more you rely on external substances the less you are able to use your own internal coping strategies and it can become a slippery slope!

Hang10 I thought I'd add that it's so great you saw your doctor and were provided with a diagnosis that fitted for you, and helped provide you with some insight into your experiences!

Hope some of this helps and best of luck,

SammyD

[Merkles]

Thanks for taking the time to write up that response Sammy, I wasn't aware that health anxiety was considered a mental health disorder.

I haven't really thought about seeing a psychologist, perhaps it's something I should do, I've never really been a person that can openly express how they feel, I'm usually the one people come to when they have problems 😮

I think I'll chat with my GP on my next visit and see what he thinks.

Thanks again 🙂

[baet123]

Hi Merkles,

Hang10, Sammy and Hugo all made great points above.

I suffered from health anxiety for 2-3 years and I only got better when I addressed the underlying issue which was my weight. All my health anxiety stemmed from me having anxiety about my weight.

My condition improved when I saw a psychiatrist who I clicked with and actually felt that he cared for me and I was not just a number you know? I started improving when I started taking medication and improving my lifestyle. Maybe you should see your GP and ask for a referral to a psychiatrist? It is worth giving it a go. Medication worked wonders for me so why not for you also?

Other things that may help include:

- Getting enough sleep.

- Eating a balanced healthy diet.

- Getting fresh air and being in the sun.

- Exercising.

The activities above are pretty standard views and are cliché but they do work 🙂

Please keep us posted and I look forward to hearing back from you again soon.

Hope this helped.

Nick.

[SammyD100]

Hi Merkles

No problem! I'm glad you were able to get something out of my post. Nick had some great suggestions too!

Just wondering how this week has been for you? Have you thought more about seeing your GP sooner rather than later?

You say you have trouble expressing how you feel, so seeing a Psychologist might feel hard for you. Your post is very articulate and showed a good amount of insight though - so I wonder if you are better at expressing yourself than you think!? The other thing about a CBT approach is that it's less about the traditional psychoanalysis approach that people sometimes associate with Psychology, and more about going through a structured approach to breaking down your thoughts, feelings and behaviours and trying to challenge those. So it might be easier than you expect 🙂

Hope this week's been a bit better for you,

SammyD

[bluewater]

I've been struggling with health anxiety and sometimes self talk helps! Telling myself I've been here before nothings happened and I'm OKAY/coping. Easier said I know. I feel your frustration