Feel like I can't do anything right.

[Pandapie93]

Hi all...

 I'm new to BB and pretty nervous about posting this, but I can't cope anymore on my own. I can't cope telling people close to me of my anxiety and depression, I feel like I've let them down some how and that I'm being judged. 

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for about 9 years now and only came to terms with it on the last couple of months as my anxiety attacks have become so severe. I live in a mental world of hell where I feel like a constant failure... I worry about every word I say and every move I make, worried I'll upset someone or be judged for my words or actions. I find it hard to sleep from worry and when I do I have nightmares. When I have anxiety attacks I feel physically sick to my stomach and get sharp pains in my chest and head... I get muscle cramps and want to burst into tears and run as far away as I can... I have an amazing life, so many amazing people in my life and I love my job, why can't I just stop worrying and be happy? What's wrong with me??!!! hate this disease, it's ruining my life and so many others.

 please, I beg of any hints or tips on how I can overcome this. 

- Panda 

[Doolhof]

Hi All,

This is a great little thread with lots of communication happening here.

Just on going to hospital, a little more about my situation. The first time I kind of had enough of everything, was very depressed and stressed and called Life Line. I must have sounded quite unstable as along came the ambulance and the police. It was explained to me that I could go to the hospital under Police care through their mental health provisions so I did not have to pay for the ambulance cost, as we didn't have cover then.

The Ambulance people did not deem me capable of driving myself, so I went in the Ambulance with a very kind policeman chatting with  me along the way. It was further explained that if I agreed to be admitted to the mental health unit I could leave voluntarily, if the Police felt they had to have me committed, I could have been there for three weeks. I suppose what happens to a person goes on the individuals problems and mental health state.

I personally would not have any problem at all in returning to either the mental health unit of the local hospital for help and assistance. I am just so very thankful I now realise I can have the care in the local hospital also!

Panadapie, it is very easy to get caught up in Catastrophysing life. I am wondering if your friend has been researching depression and ways of overcoming it. I recall this terminology in some of the material I have read in the past.

To help my mental health state today I went to attend Church, only to arrive there and be the only one at the Church! Ha. Ha. I had forgotten our church was joining a different congregation for the day and I had no idea what time that service was.

So I thought I would check out a different denomination Church in the same town, only to arrive as they were singing the last song! I did read in their newsletter though that they are showing a movie I had wanted to see called something like "Love like a potato" or I am in love with a potato" ...no that is not quite right. Ha. Ha. Either way the ticket is only $5.00 so I will enquire about that.

My morning could have been a let down, I could have turned it into a catastrophe, but I used it as an opportunity to experience something different!

Here's to an open mind, to choosing happier thoughts and letting problems rest where ever possible.  Cheers, from Mrs. Dools

[Pandapie93]

I must admit I didn't quite know what to expect from my post on here but I'm really thankful for your responses. It's amazing to be able to express how I feel and know there's support out there and that you all understand and we can all hopefully work together to overcome our depressions and anxieties.

Good on your Mrs Dools for staying positive, That sounds like a really good idea 🙂 I'd like to learn the piano this year, music has always been a good distraction for me so hopefully that'll be a good hobby. 

Geoff I'm glad to hear you have a lot more control over your emotions and reactions these days, stay strong 🙂 

[Doolhof]

Hi Pandapie,

It is wonderful you have found contacting Beyond Blue and the Community here as being helpful and beneficial to you.

This site has certainly helped me immensely, and I am now trying to help and make suggestions to others so their journey may be a little less rocky!

For me, sometimes just getting the problem/ concern/worry out of my head is a huge step in my own recovery. Once I can recognise and acknowledge a problem/my depression or what ever is going on, then I can start to find solutions!

I wish you all the best for the New Year and hope it is a year of healing, hope and happiness for you.

Cheers for now, from Mrs. Dools.

[Pandapie93]

Thanks Mrs Dools, all the best to you for 2015