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Feel like I can't do anything right.

Pandapie93
Community Member

Hi all...

 I'm new to BB and pretty nervous about posting this, but I can't cope anymore on my own. I can't cope telling people close to me of my anxiety and depression, I feel like I've let them down some how and that I'm being judged. 

I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for about 9 years now and only came to terms with it on the last couple of months as my anxiety attacks have become so severe. I live in a mental world of hell where I feel like a constant failure... I worry about every word I say and every move I make, worried I'll upset someone or be judged for my words or actions. I find it hard to sleep from worry and when I do I have nightmares. When I have anxiety attacks I feel physically sick to my stomach and get sharp pains in my chest and head... I get muscle cramps and want to burst into tears and run as far away as I can... I have an amazing life, so many amazing people in my life and I love my job, why can't I just stop worrying and be happy? What's wrong with me??!!! hate this disease, it's ruining my life and so many others.

 please, I beg of any hints or tips on how I can overcome this. 

- Panda 

23 Replies 23

Wonderer
Community Member
Thought I would let you know - You are not alone. I could have written your post as I feel the same way most of the time.

Thanks Wonderer. I feel for you, it's a hell of a feeling. I'm so tired of worrying and feeling like the worst is going to happen and it's all my fault 😞 

Yes. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy. Try to have a good xmas day. I'm going to try to stop worrying for just one day for the family's sake. Trying to hide my thoughts is the hardest part as I don't wish to burdon others with my problems. I'm sure you understand.

dear Panda and Wonderer, I feel as though I may as well reply to the both of you as you both feel as though you are in a desperate situation, and to be honest it seems that way.

Please there is no need to be nervous, it's a friendly site where you vent to those that have experienced it all ourselves.

A lot of us are in denial always believing that it may not be true on how we feel, until the day comes, and crunch we realise that we need help, but we don't want to get any support from our family, because you feel as though they won't believe you and just trying to get attention.

Well 99.999999% of the time it's not, we are suffering inside so badly that we may do things or make comments which people can interpret into another meaning, which then means they don't understand exactly what we are trying to say.

This illness which comes under the description of depression whether we like it or not can happen to anybody, it doesn't matter if you are wealthy, healthy, have a good family, or job or a string of friends, anxiety just like depression can hit us without any warning, and there are no obvious reasons why, so this is why no one would ever believe what we are saying, so we decide to keep it quite.

When this happens only means that we begin to get these physical problems, so now is the time you need to seek help, firstly from your doctor, but please understand that any friends that you may confide in may disappear, so be prepared for this to happen, it is sad but this normally happens.

We tend to always blame ourselves and say 'it's my fault', but please understand  that it is not your fault at all, because this illness is just so strong it is capable of inflicting it's claws onto absolutely any one it wants to.

I just want to get the ball rolling here, and hope to hear back from you both. Geoff.

Wonderer
Community Member
Thank you Geoff. I am seeing a psychiatrist and am on anti depressants. It's a constant daily battle with myself. I just take one day at a time at the moment as I seem to worry about everything. I was just trying to let Panda know that he is not alone in the way he feels (I am assuming Panda is a male here).

Thanks Wonderer and Geoff.

I'm also taking antidepressants and I have a referra for a psychologist but haven't been able to bring myself to go yet... I think I'll have to now. I'm currently on holiday visiting family over seas and this disease is ruining my trip for me... I'm just so tired of worrying I'll do something wrong. 

Hope you both have a wonderful Christmas 

- Panda (I'm female by the way ;)) x 

Panda. I would recommend seeing a psychologist. What I learned from 'coming out' and talking about it were a few things, such as this condition is not unique to us and that it can be dealt with even if we just come to terms with it and learn to tame it. Have a safe trip.

Thanks Wonderer 🙂 Merry Christmas 

dear Panda and Wonderer, thanks for getting back, perhaps it would be better to address you one at a time, but you both seem to be a bit shy still, so why don't I just give you a quick history of myself.

Diagnosed with depression '95, had a wife and 2 sons now in their 30's, attempted suicide '95, used alcohol as a self medication, lost my own business as a handyman/builder which I had about 6 months work in front of me, had a car accident '97 which was close for me, wife divorced me '02, I was in debt but when house was sold corrected all of that, and now rent and live by myself. Geoff.