Fear of impending Melanoma diagnosis is too much

[R0llergirl]

Hi 👋

I’m new here and had to post as I’m at my limit with how bad my head is behaving right now and how tired I am of all this repetitive health anxiety that I have. Long story short, I’ve had or given myself chronic health anxiety on and off for over 10 yrs which now manifests in multiple anxieties...but right now I have worked myself up so much that I have diarrhoea, nervous tummy, scattered thoughts, etc. I went to the docs for my yearly skin scan Friday and there was one mole on my butt that he said he ‘thought’ was okay but after further inspection of the enlarged picture of it he said....’let’s take this one off as it has one if the signs it could be Melanoma which is some blue/white specs or ‘film’ through it and it’s quite large and asymmetrical. I asked him if others that looked like mine came back ok and he said yes so that was reassuring. The problem is I Googled what the symptoms are if a melanoma has spread and it said shortness of breath and a pain on the right side under the ribcage as the liver swells once it spreads to there. I literally went to the docs last week for BOTH of those things. He said the shortness of breath was anxiety and the back pain was from recently climbing ladders at work which was a new task for me so likely muscular. I am in a state now convinced I have melanoma that has spread. Please be kind I am very lost and scared in my thoughts right now x

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hi there and welcome to the forums 🙂

I'm sorry you're experiencing health anxiety - it is awful! I am wondering whether you've ever sought any professional help to assist in dealing with it? Ten years is a long time to bear that weight. To share a little of my own experience, I've previously experienced health anxiety at a detrimental level, but these days it's not too bad. The only things I did differently were to not google (google isn't an expert!), and to try not to entertain my anxious thoughts. So it can get better!

I'm not an expert, just a friendly fellow forum user so these are just suggestions, but trying some deep breathing into your belly to help lower your anxiety, and some meditation to help slow your thoughts might help. As well as this, try challenge your thinking. "The GP said my symptoms were due to anxiety and a change in task, so that's what it is". Anxiety is a very negative fellow and loves a worst case scenario. But we don't have to entertain him. (I'm still working on this, but it gets easier the more you do it!).

Much kindness, Katy

[R0llergirl]

Thanks Katy I appreciate your response. I guess I’m panicking because the doc who checked my back and said it was muscular wasn’t aware that I had a suspicious malenona as I didn’t know at that point either. And the doc who did the skin scan didn’t give me much reassurance other than today he sees ones like mine come back normal so if I didn’t have the right side pain (which is gone now) and the episodes if shortness of breath I wouldn’t be so worried. It’s the waiting that’s a killer but I’ve got to learn to manage these incertainties better or ill ever be at peace which is why I’m so scared. I have o my judy gone back on my Aropax after a two year break and feeling good most of that time. I’ve tried courses, books, breathing etc doesn’t seem to help x

[R0llergirl]

Apologies for the awful grammatical errors... I was typing on my phone 🙂

[Frosty66]

Dear R0llergirl

I can totally sympathise with you. I too had a suspicious mole biopsied at the doctors (I went for something entirely unrelated; doctor said 'have you had that mole on your shoulder looked at' and of course I knew nothing of it as it was on the back and I don't look that far!). Had to wait one week (?!) then got the news it was melanoma stage one. I was absolutely terrified and convinced I was full of cancers as I am very fair skin and have a LOT of moles and freckles. I too developed aches and pains around my back and ribs.....I paid a plastic surgeon $800 to remove the f'n thing as through the public system I would have to wait two weeks and I just wanted it GONE.

So it was excised with a wide margin; pathology came back clear..I then saw a skin doctor every three months for a year then every six months and last December was the 'come back in one year'.

Please please do not google anything for a start....and please have faith in the professionals. I wish you all the very best xx let me know how you get on.

[R0llergirl]

Hi Frosty66

so are confident the aches and pains in your back/ribs was unrelated to the stage 1 melanoma? I wish I hadn’t read that as it’s totally freaked me out. If yours hadn’t spread to your liver or anything in that area it’s be unrelated yeah? Apologies if I’m clutching....I guess I’m looking for reassurance of sorts. I will have results Friday 🤞

[44Max44]

I can sympathize with you quite a lot...

I went through my first (and worst) bout of Health Anxiety last year, and melanomas were (and are) one of my biggest fears. It got to a point where I avoided the sun at all costs because I was worried I'd develope one.

It also doesn't help whatsoever that I am just a naturally moley person. On my left arm alone there are probably over a dozen moles, but I've had them for as long as I can remember.

One thing I did that helped was taking pictures of the spots so if I ever got anxious about a particular spot I could go back to the picture and compare to see if there were any changes, and if there aren't, I can put my mind at ease.

I 110% agree on the DO NOT GOOGLE anything rule. 100% of the time googling my symptoms made me worry more, not less. If you're worried about something, get your doctor to look at it instead of googling the symptoms and diagnosing it yourself.





Also, how do you go about getting your skin checked? Can you get it done at any GP or is there a specialist you have to go to? I've always wanted to do it but never knew how.




All the best.

[R0llergirl]

Hi

i go to a local skin cancer clinic near my home that do routine skin scans, otherwise any GP can go over you.

[Frosty66]

Hi

No mine was totally excised four years ago and six monthly checks show it has gone and no spread. I hope you have your results now and all is good?

[Katyonthehamsterwheel]

Hey there

Sorry to have not checked back in, had a few things going on. Just want to see how things are going with you? Let us know. Happy to chat further.

Katy