Fear of impending Melanoma diagnosis is too much

[R0llergirl]

Hi 👋

I’m new here and had to post as I’m at my limit with how bad my head is behaving right now and how tired I am of all this repetitive health anxiety that I have. Long story short, I’ve had or given myself chronic health anxiety on and off for over 10 yrs which now manifests in multiple anxieties...but right now I have worked myself up so much that I have diarrhoea, nervous tummy, scattered thoughts, etc. I went to the docs for my yearly skin scan Friday and there was one mole on my butt that he said he ‘thought’ was okay but after further inspection of the enlarged picture of it he said....’let’s take this one off as it has one if the signs it could be Melanoma which is some blue/white specs or ‘film’ through it and it’s quite large and asymmetrical. I asked him if others that looked like mine came back ok and he said yes so that was reassuring. The problem is I Googled what the symptoms are if a melanoma has spread and it said shortness of breath and a pain on the right side under the ribcage as the liver swells once it spreads to there. I literally went to the docs last week for BOTH of those things. He said the shortness of breath was anxiety and the back pain was from recently climbing ladders at work which was a new task for me so likely muscular. I am in a state now convinced I have melanoma that has spread. Please be kind I am very lost and scared in my thoughts right now x

[R0llergirl]

Hi, no results haven’t come back yet. I called and they said it’s common that they’re not back yet as it’s only been 4 days. I’m sick with worry

[R0llergirl]

HI Katy, thanks for following up. Im not handling the wait very gracefully at all. I can’t eat or sleep and my resilience has disappeared. I did go see our workplace councillor yesterday who was good to talk to because problems at work seem to be exacerbating my anxiety at the moment. The doc just said my mole had one characteristic of melanoma so he took it off and I literally have my self jobless, financially ruined and dying alone. I’m trying to hang onto perspective but it doesn’t stick. I’m not doing well at all and am scared I’m losing it

[calmseeker]

Hi R0llergirl,

My thoughts are with you and my fingers are crossed for you for good news.

I totally understand the extreme level of anxiety while awaiting test results. I too am unable to sleep or eat in while waiting for results and its hell on earth.

The only way I am able to cope is by micro managing my days. As in, live completely in the moment, hour to hour, minute to minute if you need to. For example, if I am doing dishes, then dishes is the only thing I concentrate on . I shrink my world down to that dish cloth washing that dish, nothing else is allowed into my mind. Its the only way I can manage while waiting for a result.

Sending you calm vibes.

CS

[R0llergirl]

Calm seeker, That’s great advice and I will work on that. I won’t get the results now til next week....don’t you just love that!!! I know it’s not good that any of us suffer like this but your posts go a long way to making me feel less lonely and that people...although strangers to me, do understand 🙂