Excited but terrified of leaving current job

[sadvet]

Hey everyone,

I have made a previous thread of how my boss at my current job has been talking down on me since I started. Rather than being encouraging, she comments on how I fail at doing things (it's funny because I've ask my fellow ex coursemates and none of us are proficient at blood collection and yet, their superiors are very supportive and encouraging). I've found myself unmotivated to improve myself (she did say my university teaches crap) and more importantly, I've been so anxious and dreadful about going to work, because I'm just dreading the next time she belittles me in front of others (which happens almost always on a daily basis). After much talk with my family, friends and the wonderful people here, I have decided that I wish to look for another environment that is more supportive, and I have decided to quit at the end of May. In the meantime, I will be job hunting.

But the more I think about it, the more frightened I am at quitting. It's not so much that I have second thoughts, but about how my current place would react. What if the boss comes to find me (she will be overseas when I plan to resign)? What if the rest of the staff at the clinic spams my phone number? They do have my address and contact details, and I live very close to the clinic. I fear going to the nearby shopping mall, just in case I run into any of them. And I feel like my boss will not take my resignation very well, knowing her personality. Yes, I do realise that I am afraid of her, hence the reason I am reacting this way. I know it's not ideal to burn bridges, but I do have more bad experiences than good ones there, and ideally I'd just like some space from the clinic for a while.

[LesDave]

you have lots of what ifs going there. Sometimes you just have to leave and do something else. I have found health work to be a very toxic environment. It seems to attract some very nasty people who prey on those who are motivated as givers. Just try not to burn bridges. Try not to gossip and don't leave yourself in a bad situation with that company. Just remember, she might leave, and you might come back

[Croix]

Dear Sadvet~
I'm answering about distancing yourself. You have recently graduated, with difficulties along the way and have joined an urban clinic which sounds horrible

I’m not surprised you want to distance yourself

There are many things you do that deserve praise, talking to customers is one. Please reflect on that and mentally list more. You will not think of them all but it is a start. Ask your partner to help.

Everyone learns after leaving uni. No exceptions. The difference comes from the atmosphere and competence of those that help you learn. The operative words here are help you learn.

So in an unsupportive environment where every learning opportunity is turned into a basis for criticism why would you want to be engaged? Frankly I think you are displaying strength, endurance and restraint by remaining.

May I suggest, that without undue haste you find another position, and this time you interview the boss, form your impression of their empathy, skill and desire to lead and mentor. THEN decide.
Use other sources, your ex-faculty, past fellow students. The current staff at the new establishment.

You still like animals, you still want better for them, you enjoy interacting with some owners, the list is longer than that. Your degree and activities can be a source of pride and satisfaction. Just about all vets are normally bathed in gratitude by owners, even when they are giving the worst news. And countless animals have better lives due to their efforts

Imagine instead of criticism you are told, OK, not right, but up to here was fine, this is a tricky bit, watch, - now you have a go. Encouraged to try again?

The work atmosphere and the way you are taught and mentored are the critical factors, not the job.

Croix