Depressed about my anxiety

sadLex · ‎03-02-2015

Hi - I've been experiencing depression and anxiety since the birth of my first child 11 years ago. I get better but I relapse and I find it such a struggle to get well again. I push myself to exercise and try to socialise but all I really feel like doing is curling up in a ball and hiding away from the world. At the moment I'm finding it a real struggle to go to work and put on a happy face. I find it so hard to concentrate. I usually just make it home at the end of the day before I burst into tears. My husband can't understand why I'm so down. He thinks I should look at the positive things that are happening in my life. At the moment I can only find things wrong with my life. I'm struggling to challenge my thoughts because I don't think they are wrong. I went to the GP yesterday because I have been so teary. My usual GP is on leave and this one suggested that I take some medication and two days off work. I feel so lost and alone.

Zeal · ‎03-02-2015

Hi sadLex,

I’m sorry to hear about your long experience with depression and anxiety. Has your usual doctor (the one who is now on leave) diagnosed you with both clinical depression and anxiety? Or was it another doctor? How much longer is your doctor on leave for? If you feel the new doctor you saw wasn’t overly helpful, you could try someone else. It’s important to be able to trust and relate to your medical professional. Have you been diagnosed with post-natal depression? Sorry about all these questions. You don’t have to answer them on this forum if you don’t want to. They are important things to ask yourself though.

You seem like a strong and determined person. Many people with depression isolate themselves socially, and are unable to do many activities. The fact that you still push yourself to socialise and to exercise shows that you are strong. This is great. Your husband must find it hard to understand depression if he hasn’t personally experienced it. When he tells you to look at the positives, he is trying to help in the only way he knows how. Tell your partner from time to time that you appreciate his support (you probably already do this). You could show your husband an online fact sheet about depression (from beyond blue). I’m sure he will be keen to understand how depression is affecting you.

With regards to your medication, do not be alarmed if there are minor side effects, such as slight nausea or fatigue. Also, make sure you follow the exact instructions your doctor has given you. I hope the medication helps you, and that you are able to find ways to cope, with the help of a doctor.

Best wishes,

SM

TheSteve · ‎03-02-2015

Hi SadLex,

Thanks for sharing your story, we really appreciate you letting us in on your personal feelings. It is interesting, the title to your post - Depressed about My Anxiety. This is interesting because depression and anxiety go hand-in-hand. You could (and probably have been) be equally Anxious about your Depression!

It sounds like, after the birth of your child, you encountered what may have been either situational or hormonal/physical changes that brought about anxiety and thus depression. I understand it this way - if your situation or physical make-up at the time made you highly anxious, then anxiety becomes a way of life; and because it is a way of life (day to day), then you start to think that every day will be like this; this, in turn, is depressing when you can only see a future of anxiety. Then, as you experience bouts of depression, you can certainly become anxious in-between said bouts about the depression you expect to come back, again, and soon!

If this sounds familiar, it is because I've been there and understand where you are at. The good news is, this is a cycle, and cycles can be broken and reversed. By changing your habits of thought, you will change your habits of feeling; you will also become present and not project your mind into a non-existent future. If it does not exist, then you can be neither anxious nor depressed in such a future. If you don't expect anxiety and depression, eventually, you'll no longer et what you no longer expect.

In your shoes, I'd leave no stone unturned in fixing this, because you can fix it:

-Get a full physical evaluation, put your mind at ease about what is NOT wrong with you; and identify anything that is, so you can fix it.

- Make sure you are seeing a good behavioural therapist, weekly

- Take meds, if they help and make you feel better. You can always use them as a bridge, and then, later and with advice from your doctor, come off them.Use them as support if you need to.

- Eat a healthy/brain friendly diet

- Exercise, but don't overdo it and don't strain yourself.

- Learn mindfulness and relaxed breathing techniques.

- Go back to the start, and see if you can determine how you originally got into this state, what the thought process was, and how your habits of thought have changed. That is your path, just in reverse.

I wish you well Lex, come back and chat anytime we are all here for you.

Steve