Constant fear of having a panic attack

[Dutchie74]

Dear All, hope you are as well as can be. I have always suffered from anxiety which has turned into panic disorder a couple of weeks ago due to working a very stressful job with a bully of a boss (the girl I replaced was treated the same way and went on stress leave, never to return). I am on high BP medication, an anti-depressant and tranquillisers but my fear of having a panic attack seems to have intensified. I wake up with it, obsessing over how and what I am feeling. I stay in bed for hours. I am too scared to go anywhere even though I am aware walking is very beneficial. I went to the shops yesterday, already feeling anxious (what if I have an attack?) and did develop one. I fear fainting and do feel like laying down but that would look silly down the street. I made it home but the fear took a long time to subside. By sharing this I hope someone recognises my situation and may even offer some advice. I have been reading a lot about panic attacks and experimenting with breathing. Guess I have to be more patient but I just want to live a normal life again and enjoy it....All the best 🙏❤️

[PamelaR]

Hi Dutchie and welcome to our community forums

Yes, you are so right, worrying about having a panic attack can bring on a panic attack. Anxiety is the pits sometimes isn't it? I relate only too well with how you're feeling as I have PTSD, anxiety and depression.

The one huge learning I've had is - it is manageable and I can live with 'it' without 'it' controlling my life. Great to hear you're doing things like focussed breathing - that's an excellent start. That was one of the best things I learnt from the beginning of my diagnosis. I still use it and it is so effective now. My body gets into tune with my breathing immediately and I become calm.

Fear is a driver for panic attacks. I liken it to 'the fear of fear'. Sounds silly doesn't it, but once I started seeing this I began to realise where my fear was coming from. It helped to reduce the fear and the anxiety.

Fear of a bully at work is a very strong trigger and I relate to that very well. I worked with one for about 8 years. Luckily there was someone in the office who took the brunt of her aggression. Not so good for that person though. Owe her a lot I do, as do most of the others in my team.

So what can you do? There are a few practical things I can think of -

• looking at the Tips for Managing Anxiety thread in our forum. This can be found by doing a search of our website. There's a search field at the top of the page where you can enter the keywords.
• feeling free to join in discussions with others who have a similar experience as yourself. Again, you can do this by searching our website. Keywords might include - work anxiety.
• finding out if there is anything you can do at work to address the bullying. For example - is there a policy or guidelines in your organisation about Bullying and Harassment? Is there a dedicated 'Bullying and Harassment Officer' in your organisation that you can talk to?
• are you seeing a doctor and/or health professional about your anxiety? That's something I do sooner rather than later.

Keep reaching out if and when you want to Dutchie. You're not alone

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Dutchie74]

Dearest PamelaR,

Thanks so much for taking the time to respond.

I praise your efforts for learning to live with your conditions!

I actually got sacked last week which was a blessing in disguise. Now I have time to work on myself and get better.

I have been seeing a doctor and am on the waiting list for a counsellor. In the meantime I talk to people close to me. Especially my mum has been my rock.

Thanks again for your love and support. Likewise, I am here for you all.

Warm regards 😊

[PamelaR]

Hi Dutchie

Thank you for your praise. Though, while managing anxiety is demanding, complex and tiring, it is doable for most people.

So sorry to hear you lost your job. As you say, perhaps it is for the best. You can now focus on you and getting better. Seeing your doctor and getting to see a counsellor is a great way to go. You are very lucky to have your mum to talk to. That's really pleasing to hear.

Let us know how you get on Dutchie.

Kind regards

PamelaR

[Dutchie74]

Hi PamelaR,

I love your positive attitude 😊

Having a support network of whoever and wherever they may be is very helpful on this journey.

Wishing you all the very best!

Dutchie