Child with Anxiety after being bullied at school.

[Baker82]

Hi this is my first time here.

My son is 9 and last term at school he was physically and mentally bullied at school and the school handled it really quite bad. The schools way to deal with it was to try and make him be friends with the kid and tell him he was not allowed to tell the child who who bullied him he couldn't play with him. I had so many meetings over the term with the school and they couldn't understand how this was wrong and even said that my son could "fix" this other child as he has behavior issues and my son is quite bright and is a strict rule follower and is quite gentle and values good friends.

Ever since he has dreaded going to school. The little boy has settled down and his behavior towards my son has turned around. However My sons anxiety of a morning is terrible. He is always either sick or has a sore tummy or headache. I even took a video of him this morning. I thought it might be better after the holidays but its not. He is apparently OK during the day and once he sees his friends he waves at them but still quiet with his head down. He Expresses he doesn't like the noise at school??? its a new thing. The school yard is small and quite busy for the amount of kids in it and I don't think that helps. He is a really bright boy and loves learning and for him to be feeling like this about school is heartbreaking.

We are thinking about moving him and his brother to a new school next year but wonder if we should try and get them in this year would that help?

any suggestions would be grateful. Thank you

[geoff]

Hello Baker82, can I apologise for a late reply and want to welcome you to the site.

First of all, I'm sorry that your son had to sustain any bullying at school, it certainly makes him lose confidence and self-esteem and perhaps become shy although pretending at school he is OK, while actually feeling lonely.

There has been a discussion about moving the child from the school and into another school but sometimes it makes them feel anxious because this happened with my twin brother and myself who had to change schools when we were about 7, but we had each other, my brother was stronger than me from memory.

The idea seems to be good until the day before he goes, then he will feel a lack of security, but there's no reason why this can't happen.

Just interested to know how he copes with any noise at home because one way to get him used to any noise is by playing any particular noise on your stereo at a low level and then gradually increasing the volume.

There's more to this but hope to hear back from you.

Geoff.

[Doolhof]

Hi Baker82,

Changing schools may be a benefit now or like Geoff mentioned it may be a different issue for the children to cope with.

Can you find ways to build up your son's confidence and self esteem? Is it possible for you to pick up one of his friend's on the way to school if you drive? Or meet someone along the way if you walk there. That way he would have a mate with him before he even enters school.

Can you change the morning routine around, even just a little so his mind is not thinking about going to school.

Have you spoken to a Dr about your son's issues especially his hearing and noise concerns? It could pay to check his hearing.

I hope you are able to find solutions. My Mum changed my sister from one school to another and she really thrived in a different environment.

I think it is important to enforce you sense of love and care in your son no matter what you decide so he knows he is a worthwhile child and you know he is struggling. Will he talk to you about how he feels?

All the best, cheers from Dools