Can’t sleep alone

[Pinksky87]

I recently moved into a unit. Ground floor. Single mother with 2 sml children. Last year my car was broken into in the garage here. A few months ago I came home and my house was broken into. Pulled the back door from the rail. My room was trashed and $$$ jewellery stolen. since then, I have been struggling to sleep. I sleep with all the lights on. My house is secure, I have wood in the slides now of all doors and windows. And I have an alarm. 
The other night there was a sound of wood falling. It was 1am. I woke with a fright and so did my bf. I screamed someone was breaking in. We ran toward the kids rooms and saw their beds empty. I immediately thought they had been kidnapped. I was hysterical. I then woke properly and realised they were with their dad. I was shaking and crying. It was the most terrifying moment of my life and I can’t get that feeling and moment out of my head. I know it sounds silly, but at that moment my kids had disappeared. i keep having flashbacks and replaying what happened. 
I’m going crazy checking the doors and windows. Sleeping with lights on.

I’ve lost trust in my house and I don’t trust that I’m safe. 
Every little sound makes my heart drop. 
i want to feel better. I want to be able to sleep at night alone. 

[blues23]

1. Hi pinksky87

that sounds really traumatic, can you move houses ? Do you think that would help ? I haven’t had a break in or anything so I can’t imagine what your going thru . Have you considered Getting some counseling? It may help to deal with the trauma of the break ins 

[Petal22]

Hi Pinksky87,

Im so sorry for what happened I understand that thinking in the moment that your children had been kidnapped would have felt terrifying.

Im sorry you are experiencing flash backs.

I understand being broken into would have also caused some anxiety.

Have you thought about seeing your gp and explaining how you are currently feeling and what you are experiencing?

As blues23 has mentioned it may be useful for you to see a psychologist who can help you to process what has happened and what you are experiencing.

Hang in there 

[On The Road]

Hi Pinksky87,

I'm sorry that you are struggling at the moment worrying about the safety of your children and family. after these traumatic events, no wonder you would feel this way. The psychological consequences would last a long time. You deserve to feel safe in your home and to have your sleep uninterrupted. I agree with blues23 and Petal's suggestion that you may talk to your GP and get a referral for therapy. CBT might help you to reduce the impact of trauma. 

Meanwhile, I wonder are there any times that you feel safer and less stressed?  for example, with your kids around you, or having a walk with your bf/ kids or close friends nearby that make you feel that things are recovering? I think having these scenarios may help you reduce the tension and give you the hope that things would return to normal eventually. 

By the way, share your concerns and fear with your family and friends, and let them know about your struggle, which may help you to feel more relieved. 

Take care

[Sophie_M]

Dear Pinksky87,

After your recent traumatic events, we are pleased you found the strength and courage to post about your experience in our forums. As you are discovering, we are a very helpful and supportive community.

We understand that the trauma of having your personal space violently violated by the thieves breaking into your home through significantly damaging your back door has caused you to question whether your security strategies are actually effective. These feelings of vulnerability appear to have put you into a constant state of hyper awareness. Unfortunately, these states are known to be incredibly draining and fatiguing.

We would encourage you to talk to your GP about all that happened, and how it is now effecting you. Your GP might be able to help you develop a mental health plan so you might be able to work with a mental health specialist on working through the traumas, and hopefully lowering your heightened state of hypervigilance.

Please feel free to call our experienced counsellors on 1300 22 4636 whenever things seem like they are overwhelming. The service is available 24 hours per day, every day of the year. You may also call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.
 

[Sophie_M]

Dear Pinksky87,

After your recent traumatic events, we are pleased you found the strength and courage to post about your experience in our forums. As you are discovering, we are a very helpful and supportive community.

We understand that the trauma of having your personal space violently violated by the thieves breaking into your home through significantly damaging your back door has caused you to question whether your security strategies are actually effective. These feelings of vulnerability appear to have put you into a constant state of hyper awareness. Unfortunately, these states are known to be incredibly draining and fatiguing.

We would encourage you to talk to your GP about all that happened, and how it is now effecting you. Your GP might be able to help you develop a mental health plan so you might be able to work with a mental health specialist on working through the traumas, and hopefully lowering your heightened state of hypervigilance.

Please feel free to call our experienced counsellors on 1300 22 4636 whenever things seem like they are overwhelming. The service is available 24 hours per day, every day of the year. You may also call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

Warm regards,

Sophie M.
 

[ecomama]

Hi Pinksky87, welcome to the forums. No you're not silly, far from it! 

You've experienced a very traumatic series of events. Criminals breaking in, stealing from you. This can leave us feeling extremely violated! 
Of course you seeing the kids' beds empty in the middle of the night shortly after would wreak panic in ANY parent! 

I only ask the following questions for pertinent reasons... Have you reported the break in to Police? 
If you have then you can also phone Victim's Services in your state. 

Victim's Services in our state are truly wonderful! They have been to us at least. 
You can talk with them about your experiences. They must be SO thoroughly trained at responding in deeply caring ways. They just GET stuff. As all who've experienced trauma do. They may offer other practical support too. 

Seeing your GP is another good support. 

You see there's the EVENT. 
Then without appropriate support that's individualised for YOU, we can feel more traumatised. 

People close to you who dismiss your feelings atm just don't understand. It's not that they don't care, it's usually because they don't know how to "fix" things. 

Your healing journey will be up to you. 
You can also call 1800RESPECT for some instant support. Important to call if you can't sleep. They have strategies you can put into practice to help soothe you. They also offer lists of therapists to support you. (Same as Victim's Services). 

Self-care is important. 

Take care! 
Love EM