Burnout & GAD

[More than my mental health condition]

I feel like I need some support from people in the know, my family is amazing but I'm not sure they understand just how hard 2023 was for me, kinda feeling like I need some kind words & reassurance that I've got this.

In 2023 I experienced housing instability, bullied by a so called friend,  bullied by an employee, burnout at work and 6 months ago I also took on the main carer role for my elderly parents moving into a large house together....oh, and I have GAD as well.

Knowing I wasn't right I quit my management role, and though I didn't plan on finding a new job so quickly have found something perfect for me with great hours and no major pressures which I start soon. It'll mean being careful with expenses but I'm not worried about that, I can do it.

I guess my question is what else do I need to do? How do I set aside the nastiness of 2023 that's playing on my mind? Is my complete career change going to be enough to heal? What other steps can I take to feel like I'm the person I want to be? 

[Croix]

Dear More Than...~

Welcome here ot the Support Forum. I think you are already showing by your actions you are close to seeing you are the person you want to be.

You are a caring person, if you were not you would think of taking on that very demanding role with  oyur elderly parents.

You are also someone who takes action. Going from a job that had become toxic rather than just putting up with it shows courage, an ability to face the unknown, and where bullying is concerned know that ceasing contact rather than fighting or putting up with it is the wisest course of action.

You are also lucky, not something to be easily dismissed, with housing problems solved and a new better job popping up when you need it.

I guess htere are still a couple of things to consider, the first is what action you think is appropriate with that bullying so called friend? Is the relationship something that can be worked out?

The other is your anxiety condition. I have htat too and found that there were a combination of things  I needed to do to lessen it. Medical help was there wiht meds and therapy, as was family support.

May I ask if you have a family member or friend to support you? Trying to shoulder everything by yourself is extra hard. Just having someone to listen and give a new perspective is so helpful , I rely upon my partner to tone down my anxiety when I worry excessively about what might happen.

Life-style with nutrition, exercise, good rest and interaction with others helps, and there is in fact a thread where many have set down what has helped them -it's long but I've found a lot there to assist me:

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/anxiety/self-help-tips-for-managing-anxiety/m-p/50482#M7636

Finally please do not take on too much wiht your parents, it is simply impossible for one person to look after one, let alone two, people as a carer. Get help - professional help if the are entitled to it - and also use respite. Pace yourself for the long haul

Croix

[therising]

The warmest of welcomes to you🙂❤️

You're an incredible person who's done an incredible job when it comes to managing last year. You've managed through so much stress, so much challenge and here you are determined to manage the path ahead in new ways. I think we don't always realise where our tipping point is until we meet with it and when we do, it can feel overwhelming, unbelievably stressful and even depressing in some ways. So, now to tip the scales in a way that reflects a sense of balance (between challenge and wellbeing).

• Finding out what government funded support services are available to your parents, under the circumstances, could be a start. I mention 'under the circumstances' based on the fact you're living with them, therefor they're not entirely living independently. Also, in the process you could find out whether you're entitled to any form of carers allowance, playing a live in role in their lives. The more your parents are supported through everyday assistance, the less time you need to take out of your life to support them when it comes to the basics. It's about freeing up time for you
  
• Choosing what forms of self development you'd like to explore could be another thing for the new year. For example, if you want to focus on how your mind, body and emotions all work together, yoga could be a new thing. If you want to work on calming your nervous system through your imagination, joining a guided meditation group could be a possibility while introducing you to people with a similar interest. Perhaps some online research could make a difference. Researching stuff like 'The 3rd stage of General Adaptation Syndrome (GAS)' could be one area of research (which has a tipping point factor to it, related to ongoing stress). The vagus nerve could be another area of research: How it interacts with the nervous system, how to strengthen it, how to have it function more efficiently etc. Or you could go down a more soulful path or what some may call 'woo woo'😁, exploring the challenges of being an 'empath' or someone who's 'clairsentient' (clear feeling), which becomes about exploring the ability to feel and how to manage the ability to feel  just about everything, including other people's emotions on top of your own. Btw, I'm a bit of a woo woo gal myself who tried yoga for the first time in my 53 years early last year after having reached my tipping point. It was part of my path to recovery. It was one on one with a teacher. In one session that involved focusing on bringing love and joy into myself, I burst out crying while realising love and joy were things I gave to others but not to myself. Yoga can come with a lot of emotional revelations and releases

From the way forward for your parents when it comes to added support all the way through to your own self development (personal evolution), no rush. Even if your only focus remains on easing your way into your new job (congrats, btw) go with that. Go with what you feel needs to be your only focus for now. You're a beautiful, amazing, caring, deeply feeling incredible person who deserves the time, opportunity and support when it comes to developing into who you are on the verge of becoming after having manged last year.