Being lonely but too anxious and fearful to speak and hang out with others

[Jitters_Jumps___Lurking_P]

Hello there,

I don't usually like to talk about my feelings but I'm so tired of being tied down by my depression and anxiety and I would like to try something different. I have a lot going on in my head but this current thread is about loneliness. For such a long time I've struggled trying talk to new people and make new friends and it makes me incredibly sad and makes me loath myself even more.

University has just started. I've been a student for five years and have not made any friends no matter how hard I try. I've tried joining groups and I have attended multiple events but I always feel left out... do you ever feel like you could be surrounded by people be still feel alone? There are often days where there's a party / meet -up / game night and I won't go because I feel like I'm intruding or that they only have me around out of pity - I'm worried about what they think of me but I always wonder if anyone would notice if I never turned up again. My head swirls with paranoia, negative thoughts and horrific situations that could happen.

There are also days were I wish so much that I could have the courage to approach people but no matter how hard I try my anxiety always gets the best of me. I fall into a horrible cycle that I can't get myself out of. It makes me feel horrible and I feel like I'll be alone for the rest of my uni life.

I don't fit in with everyone else - I feel like people avoid me and want nothing to do with me even though I haven't even done anything. Is it my looks??

I know this way of thinking isn't healthy but I can't stop it. I'm stuck and feel like I'm drowning on my on unsaid words and missed time.

Could anyone help me - I don't want to feel alone anymore.

[jemma09]

Hi Jitters_Jumps & Lurking Paranoia,

First off, I love your username - very creative! 🙂

You are a great writer, you've explained your feelings very clearly. I'm sorry to hear you feel alone and are having some troubles. You're not alone here, there are many wonderful people in this forum to talk to. We are here to support you. I agree, it can be hard to make friends at times. For me, after high school ended I found it hard to make new friends. It is great that you gave clubs and groups a go, be proud of yourself for that!

Can you think of a few things you like about yourself? It can be anything! For example: the fact that you are going on to university studies - that's pretty awesome!

I read that you feel like you have unsaid words and missed time. Are there any unsaid words that you want to get off of your chest here? Feel free to share on these forums if you want to.

Do you visit with a therapist? If you're under 25 - headspace is free, you can just walk into there for a chat. If you feel comfortable, you could talk to someone about your self confidence and anxieties. The therapist can help you to manage feeling anxious, depressed, etc. I've been to headspace myself for anxiety and they are super supportive, caring and patient. They made me feel comfortable too, especially seeing a therapist for the first time. If you're over 25, pop into your doctor and they can refer you to a counsellor. I've spoken to one through my doctor before and the person was super supportive and nice.

I hope you are having a wonderful day and take care of yourself! I wish you all the best!

[Jitters_Jumps___Lurking_P]

Thank you so much for your message, I really do appreciate it. I'll definitely look into Headspace. Thank you so much again for the time you've put into your message. I hope that we can both overcome anxiety together 🙂

Take care and have a wonderful afternoon.

[quirkywords]

Jittersjumps & lurking paranoia,

welcome to the forum and well done for writing your first and second post.you write well and express emotions that many reading can relate to.

i remember never knowing what to say so I would ask a question if I was speaking to people I didn’t know.
this is a supportive forum as you can see. Feel free to write here as often as you like.

Quirky

[jemma09]

Hi again Jitters_Jumps & Lurking Paranoia!

You're very welcome. I'm glad to hear that Headspace could be a good option for you. I wish you all the best in your journey. I am happy to help, thank you for your kind response. Yes! We shall overcome anxiety together!

Thank you and you too! 🙂