Anxious, sad and overwhelmed by the thought of completing everyday tasks

[Girty]

Hi there,

I'm just wondering if anybody can help/relate. I have always suffered mild anxiety but I've mostly always managed it (I've had a few panic attacks over the years) I am a teacher and am currently on holidays which I should be so excited about but I just feel hopeless and so anxious and sad and I just don't entirely know why. I spent most of the day crying and I just couldn't get the motivation to get up and do everyday household things I was meant to like the dishes... I caught up with a friend in the afternoon but spent all morning feeling so anxious about the stupidest things like what to wear and how much time I had and guilty at the fact that I had done none of the above households things that needed to be done etc etc... I thought of so many ways that I could to get out of it but it got too late to cancel and I sucked up the tears and went (don't know how) I enjoyed myself and was out for a few hours but I feel like I was just putting on a 'happy act' and as soon as I got in the car the bawled my eyes out to the point I nearly had a panic attack.... All of which has brought me here as I feel like this time round a good night's sleep isn't going to fix todays sad feelings... if that makes sense. I have a hard time talking to loved ones about it because I don't want to burden or worry them. My fiance has clinical depression which I worry about all the time even though he manages it and lives a happy and healthy life... My little brother also has severe anxiety/depression....I guess I just worry all the time... It's really taking its toll on me at the moment 😞

Everyday things such as cooking dinner or even just thinking what to cook, going to the supermarket, or sweeping the floors feel completely overwhelming and these things never seemed this bad......I feel like the clock is against me and there just isn't enough time in the day. I feel anxious that I'm wasting my holidays and they'll be over before I've had enough time to relax and enjoy them. I feel anxious about going back to work even though I have 2 weeks off and I love my job and my students...I just feel so selfish for complaining when I know I've got it so good...

Thanks for reading

[Ready1]

Hello Girty - I'm no expert and very new to what's going on with me but since I have opened up I have found that it feels so much better to know what I'm feeling isn't unique and quite the opposite - the same as many!

To me you sound like you take a lot on, not for yourself but everyone around you? You sound like you are doing it tough at the minute but I have found that saying these things out loud to someone or even writing it on here gives me some sort of comfort - I know it's more than this but a start.  I wish you luck in getting things back in line!

[AGrace]

Hi girty,

Welcome and I'm glad you had the confidence and courage to share with us.

I used to be a trainer, training in classrooms 8hrs a day, 5 days a week. Now that I've had to quit my job I often feel like im not doing enough, im not capable of doing enough, others are going to think im crazy for not just taking time to relax etc.

I spoke with my Psychiatrist about it and she told me it's very common for people who do fast paced work, or work where they're so used to being switched on. I feel absolute guilt now if I dont keep on top of the cooking, cleaning, washing, shopping, keeping up with friends and family.  The irony is that most mornings I wake up with 0 energy to do any of this.

The reality is we don't have to be switched on ALL the time, but learning to switch off and pace ourselves, and not be endlessly worrying about things is a skill to acquire.  It doesn't just come naturally. I find it helps to have a weekly schedule that's flexible. Plan things in my day, have a variety of activities that involve a sense of mastery, a sense of pleasure, a sense of contribution. When things don't go to plan, the best I can do is reschedule them, that's all anyone can expect. 

I also take time out to include mindfulness and meditation in every day and exercise as often as I can.

I hope this is useful.

AGrace

[Focusoncalm]

Hi Girty, hope you are getting through today alright. I can really relate to what you have written. I used to be a teacher and I know how important the holidays are, you really earn them and if you are anything like myself and a lot of teachers in know we plan to relax, make the most of our holidays and do things we have put off all term. I would have lots of plans but you know what I would end up doing? Lots of naps and reading in the first week. And that was pretty much it. I would beat myself up about not feeling up to it and get anxious the days were slipping by. Teaching can be draining (often in a good way!) and physically depleting and you just have to recover. (I have GAD and have had it I think since I was a child. Fighting it and putting on a front for the outside world was  exhausting and in teaching you are giving so much of yourself as well so I think if you teach and have anxiety you use up your 'fuel' more so than teachers without the condition. But it took me a while to pat myself on the back and give myself a break about it). Pat yourself on the back, you are doing okay, Girty. When I had my baby and seriously overwhelmed with anxiety my friend gave me advice along the lines of taking it one hour at a time and to be kind to myself for doing my best. And it helped. I am struggling with a bad bout of anxiety right now so I know what you might be feeling. I am trying and sometimes succeeding with breathing, talking about it with my partner, trying to be in the moment and not fighting it. I hope this helps. Sending you support, take care. 

[Girty]

Hi everyone that has commented. 

After lasts weeks breakdown I have encouraged and empowered myself to talk to others and seek help to manage my anxiety. I saw a new psychologist for the first time Saturday and felt like we really connected. I have already practised some of the things she has suggested such as breathing techniques and relaxing the muscles and just getting outside for a walk. Your comments on here really helped as I know I'm not alone in my feelings.. Now to empower my little brother to do the same!!

Thank you again, your support is very much appreciated 🙂 

[Onion33]

Hi Girty

Glad you found something that's working for you. I'm sure it's a useful skill that you're learning (to manage anxiety).

I also have mmild anxiety. I felt everthing was tickling along well until it was holidays. It's like my normal routine wasn't the. My counsellor said sometime this small change can trigger the anxiety to get worse. So you are not alone in that respect.

Mindfulness has helped me with my anxiety. Hope you're hedging a good day