Anxious mum

[AinslieB]

Hi everyone - I am a mum of two young teens. Both are lovely and social but sitting underneath this is some anxiety (runs in my family). My youngest had panic attacks at age 9/10 which was awful but have disappeared now (they were triggered by people taking photos of him and being on social media) and he said he feels he can manage it and he's proud of what he's achieved in overcoming it. My eldest is diagnosed GAD a long time ago and his manifests in mild depression and anger. At this stage its relatively OK - both are healthy, loving, appear happy. My eldest does brilliantly at school, is currently positive and motivated, and very aware of his feelings so that when he feels down he takes action. My youngest less brilliant at school (I do attribute this to anxiety), but he is sociable, artistic, engaged and outgoing - has many friends, and he recently held his first art exhibition which he was proud of. He to is very alert to negative feelings and talks about them so feels he can take control of it. So really - they are not bad to the point where I need to take them out of school and seek serious help (this is their current state, mind you - but they have had bad times in the past) At this stage, I am the biggest problem - I have serious anxiety diagnosed 5 years ago after my mum died and while on the outside it looks OK it's starting to eat away at me where I worry about my kids and their future constantly. I am convinced one of them will develop a serious mental illness and/or will have any other host of significant problems in the future - I am just 100% convinced regardless of what anyone says. It's ripping me up inside and I am blaming myself and my parenting for their 'future' problems and don't know how to cope with it. Up at 3am every night, heart racing, tingling legs, the other night I burst into tears in front of my husband and I feel for him as he doesn't know how to help and is tired of it. I am totally sure my kids are going to suffer in life and have serious problems - mental, physical. employment, challenges with further education etc. It's affecting my life and work and I want out.......it's so bad I feel like Iwant to run away as a mother vs. deal with any of their problems head on, should they pop up. I just don't have the coping mechanisms anymore nor do I feel I can help. This is also affecting my work and I am retreating socially. Any tips???

[white knight]

Hi and welcome

Anxiety is a serious condition and we need help from several quarters to tackle it. Most remedies are long term. There's few quick fixes but medication is one and we with anxiety need all the tools in the store to get us calmer.

In 1987 after a crisis I went aling to my therapist. He identified (I'm eternally grateful ) that my thoughts were unrealistic, essentially I was fantasizing intrusive thoughts. He taught me how to discount them. Even recognising them was often enough to question myself if they were of my own making.

The following thread will help but nothing beats professional help.

Use google

Topic: running around trying to save the world- beyondblue

Topic: how I eliminated anxiety- beyondblue

Topic: the balance of your life- beyondblue

All the best. You are welcome to repost/feeedback

Tony WK