Anxiety Survivor

[Joan_Smith]

Hi Everyone,

I go by the name of Joan and I am a recovered Panic disorder sufferer. I experienced chronic Anxiety for over 10 years and sometimes felt like I would never see the end, but I have recovered and have since trained as a counsellor to help others find their path to recovery. I've joined the forum in the hope that by sharing my experience and journey to recovery I can help others here. Questions are welcome,

Joan

[Davo]

Hi Joan, it's so good to read about someone who has found the light at the end of the tunnel after so long, because no matter how much you want to believe sometimes it just feels like people are telling you that it will get better just to make you feel better- yet in the back of your  mind there is that persistent thought that its just a lie

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear Joan,

Good on you.   If you feel brave enough to search the other sections you will find lots of posts by people wanting to have questions raised.  Anxiety seems to tie in many different mental health problems.   Maybe you could branch out and get that wonderful knowledge of recovery out to the BB community.

For every success story like yours there must be approx 50 postings where life has failed people.  You could become a real diamond in the rough kind of thing.

I am 50 in 2 days and didn't want a big deal.   Sure enough a few plans were made without me and I got quite anxious before saying "Actually, it's my birthday" and taking control.  Even after that there was a bit of "But we have to do something" and I figured "No - you're doing something by agreeing not to do something".

Adios, David.

PS  As a long time bipolar sufferer I think I'd appreciate if these family/friends did something every day, not just on my birthday.  This is mainly why I become a hermit on celebrations.  "Why didn't you visit me after I attempted suicide ?  That would have been more helpful than baking a cake".    Vent, vent.  Lol.

[Marley]

Hi Joan

I would love to hear how after 10 years you have overcome chronic anxiety?

My 'bad anxiety' started about 3 years ago, I think I have had a mild anxiety but never knew what it was.

I'm sick of feeling like I can't cope with life compared to every other mother with kids.  I just can't seem to deal with what I think are problems, but are every day issues associated to life with a family and a business.  I just feel like a failure at times because I feel like I should be able to cope.  Everyone else appears to cope just fine with working, kids, life etc. Why do I feel overwhelmed and stressed???

[Joan_Smith]

Hi Davo,

Yes and that is an anxiety thought! All those thoughts that keep us trapped in our anxiety sending us round in circles are just a part of what we need to work through. Yes some people will tell you that because they don't know how to help but they don't really know what it's like to experience it. Coming from someone who suffered 24/7 with depersonalisation and panic disorder I'm saying there is a way out. You need to find the right help and the right techniques,

Joan

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear Joan,

If anxiety comes up through being in limbo then how do you explain jazz musicians using the structure of a chord progression to ad lib a solo.  Most seem to execute the best solos when they are unprepared and just use their own imagination and spontaneity.  That's if they've gone to the right gig.

Adios, David.

PS  So jazz = limbo melodic manipulation over a pulse that is regular ?   A good solo sometimes uses notes "outside" the chord but still works fine.

[Joan_Smith]

Hi David,

I'm hearing you, inauthenticity is a big anxiety driver, whether it's us not being authentic with ourselves or others. I think stepping up and taking responsibility for it being your day and doing what you want with it was the way to go, but there's also a lot of disappointment coming through. We live in a society which can be very inauthentic and superficial. Every man for himself kind of thing - and look where it has got us and the planet. But the truth is every person is hiding their stuff behind their persona and every person is dealing with this world as best as they can. Anxiety or no anxiety. That's why it's crucial to take responsibility for getting ourselves well and let other people take care of themselves - then we can all start coming from a place of overflow rather than deficiency.

Joan

[Joan_Smith]

Hi Marley,

I went through a long and terrible battle within myself just like everyone else here. I tried medication - for 5 years - it didn't work. I tried a couple of psychologists - it didn't work. I tried ignoring it - it didn't work. At one point I thought about a rehab centre - that didn't work. Then I met the right counsellor. She showed me;

1) how to start being mindful

2) how to reconnect with the disowned parts of myself and reintegrate them

3) how to dig up my deep seated self beliefs

4) how to change those beliefs

5) how to listen to myself and become my own authority

6) how I had internalised all the negativity from my parents, peers & society

7) how I was wearing a mask I had to let go of

😎 how I was so harsh on myself

9) how to feel my pain about all the things that had happened

10) how to be honest

11) how to stop being 'perfect'

12) how to have courage

13) compassion

Joan

[Marley]

Hi again

I think this topic has really helped me a lot.  All the comments have given me more insight into my own anxiety.

thanks for sharing Joan.  Of course I get told the same advice about changing things etc but seeing your list and knowing you have done or are doing this gives me real hope.  I used to have confidence and knowing I can again.  Baby steps right?  

I quit my job which a lot would say is not the right thing to do but I actually feel so much better that I have, it caused me sooooo much stress.  I'm trying to be positive and think that it will all work out just fine.

I'm off to see a new psychologist next week I hope we click, I hate the thought of trying to explain me in an hour though!  How can I possibly do that and walk out with some help?

oh well it's a start.

thanks again for listening and responding.  Sorry about the typing, on a phone

[Joan_Smith]

Hi Marley,

I'm glad the topic is helping, thankyou, that's what I hope for.

Quitting your job is a major step, congratulations for having the courage to change something that wasn't working for you. When we are in the wrong place with a job it can cause an incredible amount of anxiety.

Good luck with your new psychologist. Let me know how you go.

take care

Joan