Anxiety slowly escalating

Chickenhead · ‎21-10-2018

So I'm not sure I really have anything to ask, I just am feeling anxious and I'm not sure how to deal with it right now. I usually talk to my husband, but it's partly him I'm worrying about.

I'm now full term so will have a baby anytime in the next 3 weeks. I'm trying really hard not to stress about the birth. Hubby is having health issues and has been told if he degenerates at all he's to go straight to the ER. He's seen the GP who has given a referral but he won't be seen for probably a few months.

Meanwhile our toddler is happy as anything but we've just agreed she will stay with my parents during the labour. She's never had time away from us and hasn't spent much time with her grandparents, so I'm concerned she won't cope. I trust my parents will take good care of her, my husband is uncomfortable because he doesn't trust his mother and I think is projecting that onto my parents. But what option do we have?? There's really no one else who could take her. But I'm sorry he feels that way, and it's weighing on my mind.

I spent Thursday in hospital being monitored for pre-eclampsia, but I honestly believe most of my symptoms are anxiety related. Blood pressure, headache, nausea...

So, as I started with, I'm not really sure what I'm asking, I guess it's just about sharing where I'm at.

Hope_for_the_best · ‎21-10-2018

It must be a tough time for you, expecting a new born baby while needing to take care of your husband and daughter. Would that be possible for your daughter to increasingly spend more time with your parents? I was essentially raised by my grandparents as both my parents were working. I did not have a hard time adjusting, because my grandparents were essentially coming to my home every day since I was born. Probably getting your daughter to be comfortable with your parents would make her feel more comfortable when the time comes. That may also ease your husband's concern if your daughter is getting along with your parents.

Chickenhead · ‎22-10-2018

Thank you Hope for the best,

It would have been ideal to do that, but unfortunately that's been outside my control. My parents work full time and my husband has his own demons to grapple with, so he doesn't want to leave her without one of us until she can talk. Even spending time with my parents with us there hasn't worked out due to challanging history. Now with so little time left, it's just not going to happen.

Its so good that your grandparents could step in and play such an active role in your raising. My father has shown a distinct lack of interest in my husband and daughter. Even when they could have played an active role they've specifically chosen to spend time elsewhere. I would have loved for my daughter to have involved grandparents, but it's been their choice to keep their distance.

Hope_for_the_best · ‎23-10-2018

How about getting your daughter to "see" your parents via video chats? That may be an alternative to get her used to your parents. If all else fail, then let your daughter know that she will be staying with her grandparents when you are in labour. Your daughter will freak out, and hence has a harder time coping, if she has no idea she needs to stay a bit with her grandparents. Maybe you could say something like, "Mummy need time to take your little brother/sister home. Grandpa and grandma will be there to [your daughter's favourite activity] with you."