Anxiety over lack of work/casual position

[livm88]

Hi,

I've always been a anxious and worrying kind of person, and this year has been full of worry, mostly in relation to unemployment and difficulty in finding steady work.

I started the year off unemployed for 5 months, and after about 150 applications both online and off, got a Casual/Temp position with a company that does occasional work in Supermarkets. This was in May, and gave me loads of work one month, then would go quiet for a while (as it has now). I managed to get another casual job not long after, but when uni started the boss wouldn't let me change my hours, so I had no choice but to leave.

Recently I just started a casual job at Coles, but it's so casual (7 hrs this week!), i'm wondering why they hired a bunch of us. An Aldi opened up across the road from them, and apparently they underestimated what it would do to business, therefore on my first week they've already sent me home early one day and cancelled two upcoming shifts! I called to inquire about next weeks roster, and they said "We've had to change it so call back tomorrow and see."

Now i'm worried i've taken on this job instead of another, and might not get any hours!

So i've started putting in more applications just in case.

This all goes along with another worry i've been having, in that i'm 28 with no career, and just started uni last year. I'm studying Arts, but wondering if I might be wasting time doing this? I think I should pick something practical like Nursing, but having self confidence issues, I feel i'd be silly choosing this, as I haven't shown interest before. I'm worried what people will think of me (having only ever shown interest in Art). I know these are totally ridiculous things to think, but I have a real issue with not doing things because i'm worried about other's opinions?

I just want to be secure financially, and it's not going to happen in Retail, as these jobs are usually casual (and seem to be becoming more so!).

I have a boyfriend, and I don't want to be a financial burden. I want to be able to contribute, and I'd really love to do an interesting job, in the hopes eventually i'll be too busy to feel anxious and stressed.

I would like to eventually move in with my bf, but can't right now financially. At the moment, I have anxiety about not seeing him every day, which adds to the stress (which i've created for myself I guess!).

Sorry for the long post,

Thanks for any advice!

Olivia

[james1]

Hey Olivia,

That's a lot to try and deal with.

Sorry, it's probably not the most insightful thing, but it really sounds like the best option at the moment is to do a few things:

1) think about what really matters to you in terms of work. I think everyone has a different preference when it comes to the balance of job security/money/enjoyment. For me, I don't mind being a little bit bored at work if it means it pays for the things I really want to do, and will do that consistently. Some of my friends will be happy to give both of those up if it means they do something they love.

2) give things a go. You've got decades to just settle into something, so there's no need to find the ideal job for you right now. Talk to people about what they do, try and broaden your uni subjects if you can, pick up the casual jobs if you want to test them out. Even in retail, there are many opportunities for permanent roles which could satisfy what you want.

3) be open with your boyfriend about what you're trying to do. He'll respect the fact that you're giving it a go and hopefully support your job searching. It'll help alleviate some of the anxiety you seem to have pent up inside about not being a financial burden. Perhaps he'll even have suggestions about what you guys can do together to work this one out. If things do indeed progress between the two of you, and I hope they do, there'll be times in the future where chances are one of you will be earning more than the other. This is a good way to see how you handle that.

You've clearly got a lot of dedication to put in all those applications. I know I was super disheartened and gave up for a while. You're on the right track!

James

[livm88]

Thanks for you help, James!

I guess I should ask more people about their jobs and approach to life.

One of the issues (that's not even an issue now!) is regarding time....I want to start a career soon (ideally after 3 years of a uni course...whatever that may be), but eventually.....have a family. It's probably silly to think of it so soon....but i'm concerned if I leave it too late (past 30's...well time will be ticking for my body clock....and chances of having a baby later!). My problem is I guess I see the two things (family and career) as linked.....I want a career so I can afford a family one day (my bf knows what I want, but he doesn't want this for another 5 years...which would be fine for me I guess, by then i'll be 33....probably still ok, but then I wonder if i'll have fertility problems? And maybe by then....he'll change his mind again?).

This is my problem, I worry too much about the future...years ahead. I end up basing my big decisions (like uni/career) on how it will affect something that may not even happen in future!

Yes, my bf has told me that he shares everything with me all the time...but feels I don't tell him enough about myself and what i'm feeling. I definitely need to open up more, but I guess i'm worried he won't like my opinions/answers (when i'm sure he just wants me to be open).

I definitely got downhearted throughout the job application process, i'm trying not to feel it now...but I have to call my job tomorrow and i'm scared they'll say i'm not on the roster!

One last thing (sorry, rambling a bit there!), I guess i'm a bit jealous my bf finds jobs so easily! He's told me to stretch the truth a little on my resume, which he does and gets jobs after applying for less than a handful (or pretty much every job he applies for!). And even with no experience, he learns anything so quickly, whereas I feel I take a little more time, and have many jobs I wont apply for because I believe I wont be able to do it, or that I have no chance in (like "that job would only hire strong men"). I should be grateful though, he helped me get the current job (he works there). I just can't help comparing myself to him...he learns so quickly and managers always prefer him over other workers (even one's who've been there a year longer!).

Thanks again for all the advice!

Olivia

[Whitlam72]

Hi Olivia

First off in regards to work, this is a problem that so many people are facing right now, especially young people. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I work in the hospitality industry and have faced the same problem before. I'm also 28 and I've just started at Tafe. I studied music after high school but it didn't lead to a career and I often feel very depressed about that. I think it's a really common feeling people our age are experiencing at the moment, given how tough the job market is.

I think it's a wise move to keep applying for other jobs if you need more hours. Consider seeing a GP and discussing what options they can provide you with in terms of treatment.

In terms of your degree, as long as you are enjoying it and are passionate about it, I don't think you should change anything. I find it very hard to not be affected by other people's opinions but at the end of the day you need to do what you feel is right.

Hang in there and know that you're not alone!

Tim

[Nikkir]

Hi and welcome 🙂

Thank you for your post and taking the time to connect with us and explain your situation. It sure sounds like you have alot going on at the moment and are at a crossroads in many areas, which can be exciting and stressful. I think James1 and fellow BB friends gave excellent advice. It is hard to get work for anyone these days, at least you do have youth on your side and you do have a nice partner, hopefully the rest will fall into place. Unfortunately alot of those jobs in retail like Coles and Aldi, Maccas can be a bit unpredictable and they have so many applicants. It is good that you are at uni, even if you change at a later date its a good start and learning is always good. What would you like to do? Arts degree is good because you get to do alot of different things and then major in one area and maybe build on from that. It's really hard to say if you should do what you want to do or what is practical. I think a bit of both. Keep applying for jobs hopefully ones you actually like or that fit in with your lifestyle and maybe go to the careers advisor / counsellor at uni. They can ask questions and guide you on the right path towards which degree you need for what job. I am sure if you explain this to your boyfriend he will be very supportive. Maybe you could make a three month or 6 months and a yearly set of goals to work towards and then revise them as you go along. Prioritize what is most important. You sound like a very intelligent and capable young person so see this as a bit of a challenge that you can find solutions for and remember to breathe:) Download "smiling minds ' app I just love it- good to clear your mind and feel relaxed. Take a walk and let it go. Do what you can and let the rest go:) You can call us on 130022 4636 for a chat or resources or let us know how you are going. Best Wishes Nikkir x

[livm88]

Thanks a lot Tim/Whitlam72,

You pretty much read my mind 🙂 I guess i'm the impressionable type, I always change to fit those around me, and I avoid disagreements or conflict (I guess a people pleaser!).

While I suppose i've always had a dream or fantasy about working in some field of art, I guess i'm not the type of person to give it my all, put in the effort required to succeed. I've also been aware (or this is what i've thought) that only a small percentage make it in the arts, or make a living...people seem to do it as a side thing. I guess i've never been willing to put in the hours and work for nothing to get anywhere...I've been trying to study art related subjects since school finished in 2005...(Graphic design, photography, visual arts- completed this cert!, history, creative writing, illustration....gee massive list of courses attempted for only 3 weeks each!). I suppose looking at the pattern, if I study art/design....I never follow through.

I guess this is why i've started thinking I should study something practical! Something guaranteed a job...

It's good to know it's not only me, nice to hear someone my age starting Tafe, giving it a go! Makes me feel i'm not the only one :]

Lastly, I guess I know I change my mind often based on what people recommend.....but I definitely know deep down......i'll probably get nothing out of an Arts degree (where others could be quite creative...pun intended haha). I'm the type.....who works better with a set of tasks and regular jobs, a list of things that have to be done every day!

I'm just wondering if there are any degrees i've not taken into account I might be good at that would lead to a job? I'm looking at my uni's website, and all I can think of is Nursing, Teaching, or Paramedic (other things like Dentist, Lawyer, Engineer, Accountant.....are too academic for me 😕 ). I'm realising i'm so lazy when it comes to art....I hardly do any these days (although maybe this relates to feeling depressed on and off for a good 10 years?).

Thanks for all your advice

Olivia

[livm88]

Thanks Nikkir :]

Great advice (and by the others).

It's true I guess with these casual jobs, they have so many applicants. I guess they're always looking after themselves first! Casual employees are only useful when they need us...

As with uni, I suppose I always end up picking something in the arts area, because that 's what i'm always interested in (like movies, art galleries, travel around Europe etc...), but at the same time I can't picture myself in a particular job. I've probably realised by now, I like to work to be occupied, but definitely in a job where there are no periods of waiting around with nothing to do! Which I find is the case so far in retail over the years. This is probably why i've always had hesitation with the arts....the fear of not finding work, and having to stay in retail to support my art.

Good idea about setting goals! I used to be into writing journals etc when I was younger, I guess goals would be a similar idea!

I've also thought as far as courses go, teaching would be within my reach...i've always sort of considered it but the doubts in my head always said 'no, not for you', but my mum's a primary teacher and I suppose has some good advice in that area.

Thanks for listening to my rants 🙂

Olivia

[Nikkir]

Hi Olivia,

Thank you for your reply:) Sounds like you have good insight into yourself and what you want and don't want. I agree about jobs where the day just drags on standing around. If its an interesting job or just plain busy like when I worked at Maccas the time flys. Mind you I would prefer the interesting job anyday. Yes you definately could be a teacher that is the beauty of arts degree it can be flexible and then you can get credits to other degrees. I do recommend a course/ career advisor I am flat out navigating my own degree. I hope that you are having a better day and know we are always here, venting is most welcome xxx Nikkir

[livm88]

Thanks Nikkir!

Yes time flies at work when you're busy, I wonder how I put up with standing around so much for years in past retail jobs!

I will admit, start of today i've been feeling a bit down (although I called Coles to ask if I was on the roster next week, and I am for 10hrs over three days, i'm just anxious they'll call on Monday and cancel these days! Surely they can't take on a bunch of new people at the same time and give one person no shifts....I'll have to wait and see, but I know i'll be worried all weekend!). But at least i'm on the roster I suppose! Better than not...

I'd definitely like to do an interesting job one day soon! I'm wondering if there's something else I could get into part time while at uni (other than shop assistant).

Thanks again 🙂

[Nikkir]

Hi livm88,

Thanks for your reply:) Well that is great you are on the roster, don't worry you have done all that you can, just see what happens now and let it go! and do what you need to do next week if you need more hours. Yes definately, think of the sort of job you would like and create it if its not there or source it on seek and gum tree etc. I like doing work online but it depends if you want to work from home, its a bit isolation. Definately there are many interesting jobs just really think about what you want to do:) Thinking of you , you sound like me my brain never goes off, not useful but just not off:) Keep in touch, also I admire your energy, I feel tired listening to all you do! Best Wishes Nikkir x