Anxiety over a negative experience at work

[justinian_ii]

It has been several years since this incident but yet I cannot seem to shake the anxiety and worry that has plagued me since. It all happened a few years ago when I had decided to leave a company I had worked at for over 6 years across two continents. At the time of my resignation I was so elated and happy to leave that toxic environment that in an attempt to be proactive I had made a copy of data to facilitate my handovers (a common practice when I was working for the same company in a different part of the world) and also to retain various sources of personal information that had been stored on the laptop over time due to taxes and etc.

This led to a whole complex situation (disciplinary hearings) where I was accused of multiple things, and there were attempts to invalidate my rights to work in Australia. To add to this, they seized my hard drive in question that had my personal data along with the data I had made a copy of to do my hand overs. I had to get lawyers involved and was in the end told to compromise and sign their expectations. In the end, I never actually got to tell my side of the story because they kept changing what they were accusing me off.

Since then I have had bad anxiety and sometimes get panic attacks that just stop me from moving forward with my life. I keep conjuring situations in my mind where my previous company is out there just bad mouthing me to everyone and destroying my reputation. Which in my line of work is important because I have to deal with multiple people and build connections.

[smallwolf]

A friend of mine has been through a similar experience in regards to accusations. 😞

I'm so sorry to hear about the difficult situation you went through with your previous employer. It's understandable that such a stressful and unjust experience would leave you feeling anxious and worried even years later. 

Please remember that you did nothing wrong - you were simply trying to be thorough in your handover process, which is commendable.

I know it's hard, but try not to ruminate on what they may be saying about you now. You have so much more power than you realize. If you carry yourself with integrity, honesty and professionalism, most reasonable people will recognize those qualities in you, regardless of what anyone says. Focus on building trust through your own actions - that will speak louder than words.

Perhaps it would help to discuss these lingering feelings with a professional counselor. They can help you work through the anxiety and stop it from holding you back. You deserve to move forward and build the life and career you want without this burden.

Listening if you want to chat some more.

[NarawadeeL]

Hi justinian_ii ,

From reading your story, I resonate so much on how you can be doing what you thought was right and to be disregarded and seen as wrong. What's sad is that we can be stuck in that moment, feeling ashamed and guilty even though we have told ourselves that it's okay to fail sometimes, but the thought of it is still awful and triggering for us. Whenever I come across a situation like yours, I always resort to confiding in my family members and venting with my friends, because I know that although others may perceive me in a negative light, but the ones that care about me will always be there for me unconditionally. I hope you do have someone to talk to, but just know that we're here at the online forum and that there are many more in the same boat as you. 

Take care, 

[Mozaik]

That sounds so stressful. I'd hate to be going through that too. I think it reads like you're scared of people still coming after you, or future repercussions. I can imagine that would be extremely stressful, and honestly, even just reading your post makes me very anxious too. I hope you somehow find some reprieve from what you're feeling.