Anxiety is constant again.

[neverstopneverstopping]

Hi guys.

I've been on medication for anxiety for just over a year and a half. Originally it was stress related to my job, but during that time, my Dad was diagnosed with Cancer - again. In the time since I've been on anti-anxiety medication, his diagnosis has been made terminal. This last week things took a bad turn and the end is looking nearer than it did last week. Since finding out that our time with Dad is very much limited, I am noticing that my breathing is constantly shaky or I am struggling to catch my breath. I'm not sleeping again - because I'm afraid it might happen overnight. I'm also starting to dread leaving the house, but at the same time, I don't want to be here because watching him slip away is freaking me out too. I'm sorry if this triggers anyone, this is not my intention. I'm just looking for outside opinions and options of what I can do to try and calm down a little. I know that it's not going to be easy, but I'd like to react normally and not feel anxious constantly.

[Croix]

Dear Neverstopneverstopping~
I'm very sorry to hear about your dad and understand exactly what you mean by wanting to go out and not wanting both at the same time -and staying awake in case.

I had a similar thing with my partner, who was ill for a long time before she passed away. At first I could think of little but the loss, but mainly thanks to her came to see she was just the same person I'd always known, and you will too. Also that we could deal with it together.

When a person's life is coming to an end it is something they have to face, even if they are not afraid. And often company while they make the journey is a comfort. No need to understand, no need to say anything special, no need to hover around - just be you. If you like a TV program and would have talked about it before, then do so now, normal is good. If you talked about your problems at work, then do that too.

I'm sure if your dad is well enough he would be worrying about you.

I'm trying to say your dad is the same person and will be with you no matter what. Are you alone in facing this? I do hope there are others there to help bear the load and give you support too.

Trying to get your anxiety under control at the moment is hard and I'd suggest you use all the techniques you can, not just meds but exercise, trying the best you can to sleep using sleep hygiene, eating properly and trying to be with those you are close to, plus doing things you enjoy. That last one is not spoiling yourself, it is simply a necessary way of keeping a balance. I used to go out and visit friends too, it was OK to do so.

I use the free smartphone app Smiling Mind to get calm.

You can talk here whenever you like, we will be with you

Croix

[LavenderTea]

Hey there,

I'm really sorry to hear that. It must be a really stressful time for you and the family.

I think that Croix has made a really good point about self-care. It's important to remember that you need to be able to help yourself first before you can help someone else so it's important that you are working on ways to manage your own anxiety.

I know that this can be something very difficult to be going through, but something that you and your family might consider is Advanced Care Planning. This is a plan for you and for your family to discuss and create, which will outline some important decisions concerning the care of your father.

Typically, Advanced Care Plans are something that you can do with the individual who is ill, if they have the capacity to make informed decisions, but family members can also help in the process. Making one of these, or even considering some of the main points might help prepare you and your family, and may help reduce some anxiety for yourself.

https://www.advancecareplanning.org.au/

LT.