Dear Lindamay~
Welcome to the Forum. It is not easy to talk here as frankly as you have, I believe it was a very good idea. I can understand your feelings, coming to a relationship having lived without one most of your life. It is strange territory, and the fact you have not been in this position before must weight upon your mind, perhaps making you feel less than you actually are.
Then again being retired has its pitfalls, particularly if one has gone from an absorbing or busy job where one was rewarded for one's value, in money if nothing else, to a life without.
Add to that the normal worries many feel when entering an intimate relationship for the first time and you have a fair weight on your shoulders. Often if the partner has been in one before, the inevitable tendency to compare oneself with whoever was in his past raises its head.
As someone who has an anxiety condition I'd imagine in your position that this could become a permanent hassle, even damage the relationship if you do not appear trusting and relaxed.
Although it sounds a good idea to see a councilor it may well be that is not enough, sometimes one can have conditions, such as anxiety, that may require the services of a psychiatrist to diagnose and treat. I am guessing but it might be worth considering. What do you think?
Making him understand? I doubt that just words would do that . What would you think if he was involved himself in parts of any therapy you undertook? It would not only give him understanding abut also allow him to take steps together with you.
If I could I'd also suggest doing something to make yourself feel more worth inside might help. As I mentioned being retired has its problems. Have you considered an occupation, particularly voluntary, that is rewarding, possibly even challenging? Removes the amout of time you have to fret too.
I look forward to chatting wiht you again
Croix
