anxiety and cleaning?

[Nakka]

So im woundering if others go through this too.

I cannot handle if my house is cluttered or has the smallest amount of mess it sets me off and i have to tidy asap or walk away(yet think about it constantly).

And eer omg my bench! I cannot handle one crumb, one stain, one unrinsed dish nothing!  I feel like IIam constantly cleaning my bench or checking tthat it is clean. It's funny because I am nnot a particularly tidy person and far from a clean freak.

But it feels good doing this cleaning.  Knowing its tidy. IIt's like therapy. 

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Dear Nakka,

There's a bit of anxiety, Aspergers and OCD all mixed in there !   I think my dad had to have all the cans in the larder facing the right way.

If you want to think about problems I find washing up is good.   It's got to be something so benile and crassy that you don't have to think about it.   My worst case of "order" and "cleanliness" happened earlier this year when my auto pilot brain tried to put the washing up away in all its cupboards whilst my partner tried to cook Sunday lunch.  It really freaked me out and took me suprise.  Two people using the same bench top.....................too much flux for me !

Adios, David.

PS   Sometimes I leave the washing up for 2 or 3 days just so someone else can do it.  But they always hold out longer than me.  What an unfair condition.

[geoff]

dear Nakka, we have had plenty of return replies which has been terrific, so please forgive me if I have forgotten.

What you are doing is a great example of having OCD, as I often do the same, especially when I have visitors and they leave dirty cups on the bench and then open the cupboard and get a new cup.

And as this feeling feels good then your OCD has been rewarded or reinforced, but if it hasn't then your anxiety kicks in, and you have to clean the bench, that's what this illness  does to us.

It's not your fault, and as it maybe stupid for others to try and rationalise what we do, we can't help it. L Geoff. x

[Nakka]

Hey David & Geoff. 

Hows everything? 

Wow ocd? Suppose ive never thought about it in that way, but it does make sence.

Suppose we all have our things, my father was such the same David, he was an army man for 24yrs from the age of 15 soo was oooh so so particular and chronically ocd also adhd (according to my mother who works in mental health lol) and I was just the messy child whom didnt conform and always thought it was silly but I totally understand now as I find myself doing the same.

Haha yes two people using the same bench would be too much, too much clutter not enough space lol.

And omg don't even get me started on the cup situation,  It grinds my teeth when people do that.

Very good point Geoff. We cannot

Regards,  Nakka

[The_Real_David_Charles]

Hey Nakka,

How are you with windows/blinds ?

I like to micro manage the openess of the window or length of the blind as per the changing weather.   It is real madness.  A cloud passes for 2 mins and then I have to re-do the area.

I'm thinking that when mental illness leads to a lot of domestic time there a certain things that seem to require immediate attention but really could wait a couple of hours.  The best ex would be hearing the Post come (bicycle/bike) or the Garbage Truck empty the street and getting out to the post box or empty garbage bin straight away to steer in on it's premeditated course.  Or walking down the road flipping the lids on other's garbage bins if it look like rain.  It's borderline autistic.

It stems from desiring control.   We can't really control ourselves in the mental area so we chose to over control everything else.  Make sense ? 

This is part of the rationale I have for responding.   I put my time into something worthwhile but I also acknowledge that I can't control the update.  In a way, the way the Online Forum works is a sort of mini anger management course or, to put it another way, an opportunity to trust that someone has a better judgement which is an even stranger thing when you consider a number of threads will talk about being too anxious for the GP.  Being anonymous seems to serve many purposes.

To put this into a question:   If a patient could be anonymous at the GP, psychiatrist, psychologist, counsellor, psychiatric hospital would this lead to more coming forward for help ?  Or does a psychiatric nurse just get used to seeing the same type of sufferers and therefore blend us all into a group ?   (With the odd exception, i.e. psych nurse to me once "Not you again !").

Adios, David.