Anxiety about the vaccine

[anxietygirl60]

I am new here and hoping for some reassurance and encouragement.

For months now I have been putting off getting the covid vaccine, have cancelled and rescheduled a few times now, because my anxiety has been getting worse about it. The more I put it off, the more I keep thinking about it, the worse the anxiety gets. I really want to have the vaccine but I've let the negative noise on the internet get into my head and I keep thinking about the worse case scenario's of the side affects of it. I know that getting covid is way worse and I know that the likelihood of a bad reaction is probably quite small but my mind has built this up into such a huge thing that every time I think I'm ready to get it the anxiety kicks into overdrive and I just can't make myself physically go and get it.

I have a rescheduled appointment booked for the first jab on Dec 1. and I spoke to my doctor yesterday about my anxiety and hesitancy to get it. She helped a lot but there's still some lingering doubt about it and the consequences of getting it. Because once it's been injected into my arm there's no turning back and whatever happens is going to happen.

I just need some help getting over the line with it. If you have any reassuring words or experiences or even videos/articles from trustworthy sources I would really appreciate your help.

Please, no one trying to talk me out of it. I want to have it I just need to get over myself to get there.

Thanks in advance.

(Oh, I should have mentioned that it's not just the vaccine that I have issues with. It's all new medications. I have this weird phobia - I believe it is called Pharmacophobia - where I worry that any new medication will cause me to have a bad reaction or kill me. I won't even take anxiety meds. I also worry that the medication has been tampered with and will cause me harm. I am a weirdo for sure.)

[Mark Z.]

Hi Anxietygirl60,

Welcome to the BB forum.

You're not weirdo at all, there're some other people, very normal people still have vaccine hesitancy.

Do you have any particular health or medial reason to worry about? Or, you're very healthy and just afraid of the rare bad luck?

I just have an idea, why not asking a family member or best friend to accompany you on the vaccination day? Maybe it'll make you much easier.

Mark

[Ggrand]

Hello Dear anxietygirl60..

A very warm and caring welcome to our forums...

Firstly lovely lady...you are definitely not a weirdo..

I had so much anxiety about getting my vaccine..even though I wanted it..I was scared of any side effects and each time my Dr booked me in to have it...I kept the appointment, then when she started to get the vaccination..I backed out of having it...then rebooked it for another fortnight..this went on a few times..in between appointments I couldn’t get my thoughts off wanting the vax and living alone and rural NSW..nearest hospital is over 60 kilometres ...so if something went wrong I would be in trouble..my thoughts were probably like your thinking..

In the end I got so fed up and sick with my anxiety..that at my next Drs appointment, when she asked me..I just said okay let’s do this...I felt nothing, didn’t even know she gave it to me...then she gave me a few pages of information and what to look out for....My Dr. did say that they are more aware and more able to treat any side effects...if they happen...

To be totally honest with you..I had a sore arm for a day..and was a little more tired then usual for a couple of days....Once I had my vax,,I did feel a lot safer for myself and the people that I spend time with....

Not sure if my words are helpful to you....just wanted to let you know that your not alone in your thoughts about the vax...

My kindest thoughts..

Grandy..

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi anxietygirl60,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for joining us. I understand your anxiety and you're not alone with it here; there's been quite a few members who have booked, rebooked, booked, rebooked.. It might be over in 2 seconds but it can feel like a really difficult decision.

What do you think you need to help you with your anxiety?

One of the things that's helped me with my own hesitancies was understanding more about the process and how something so new can come in peoples arms so quickly. So that meant things like, how so many specialists all over the world have been working on the same vaccine instead of just one team, and how because it was urgent they didn't have to go through major waiting periods and apply for funding and grants which takes such a long time, and it was easy to start clinical trials because there was just so many people with COVID-19. Also, that they already know so much about the vaccine already because they can compare it to current vaccines and our bodies own immune response.

I hope this helps a little,

rt

[Whimbo]

Hi anxietygirl60,

I don't think anyone could blame you for being anxious about the vax. People are incredibly frustrated at vaccine hesitancy but that's directed at the classist, racist, ableist side of the anti-vax groups (I myself am in iso because of casual contact, so yep, not a big fan of anti-vax right now). There are many bad reasons to be vaccine hesitant and many good reasons, and I believe you have one of the good reasons.

When I got my first dose, I felt almost like I had a flu - but I've been told this was nothing compared to how CV feels. After the second dose, I had barely any reaction and I felt great, mostly because I knew that people I love, and who are vulnerable, were going to be safer.

Some advice I've been given, is when you feel enormous anxiety, try to listen more to the signals your body is sending you and less to the thoughts. There have been a lot of studies on the physiological feedback of emotions, and it's important to feel your anxiety as it physically exists in your body. Though this may seem a bit counterintuitive, your emotions exist for a reason, and being aware of them and how they're affecting you can help keep you grounded and help you monitor your symptoms. If you focus on your thoughts over your feelings, this can lead to rumination and catastrophising.

Also having a close family member or friend beside you can be more beneficial than anything. Hopefully someone empathetic and non-judgemental who can absorb some of your stress.

Good luck, I know this is a scary time but you seem like a smart and strong person, in the future it'll just be a bad memory!

[anxietygirl60]

Thank you for the warm welcome, Mark Z.

I have a few medical conditions but I don't think they will be impacted by the vaccine, at least I hope not. One of them may possibly be made worse but that's only speculation, I don't think there's any medical evidence yet to suggest that it will be.

I am very apprehensive about being one of the unlucky ones who ends up with some sort of major side effects from it. When I think about it logically, while trying not to listen to my anxious thoughts about it, I realise that the likelihood of something major happening is very slim.

I'm not sure I can ask someone to come with me. Firstly, because there are very few people left in my life that I could ask (most of my immediate family are deceased and I don't have too many friends left) and secondly I try to keep my anxiety, not a secret as such, but quiet. I don't like to burden the few people left around me with it. It's hard enough for me to deal with why should they be burdened with it too.

But thank you for the suggestion. It is a good one and a do wish that I had someone I could take with me.

[anxietygirl60]

Thank you for your warm welcome Ggrand.

Your post was very comforting to me and makes so much sense. Reading your response has calmed me down a bit and I do appreciate you taking the time to reply with your own experience.

I think my thinking is very much like yours was with the cancelling and rescheduling of appointments. It's gotten a bit ridiculous actually and I feel a bit stupid but when in the grip of a full blown anxiety attack good sense seems to fly out the window.

I'm feeling more confident that I will be able to go and get my first shot next Wednesday. I really hope I am able to keep the anxiety in check because I really want to do this, for myself and for others around me and the community at large.

I really hate how anxiety runs the show most of the time and every time I cancel it gets the upper hand and I feel defeated, which doesn't bode well in getting on top of it. I wish I could go today and get it as I'm feeling quite strong. Who knows how I will feel by Wednesday morning.

Keeping my fingers crossed that I can do it.

[anxietygirl60]

Thank you for your warm welcome romantic_thi3f.

Your post was very comforting to me and informative, and has helped me a lot. I do appreciate you taking the time to reply with your own experience of this situation. It's helped me a lot to go looking for only credible information, which has echoed what you've written above, instead of letting my anxiety get triggered by all of the negative noise on the internet.

It's also reassuring to hear that others have had the same response as me with cancelling and rescheduling multiple times before being able to go through with it.

I'm feeling much calmer today and more determined to go through with it. Of course, my appointment isn't until next Wednesday and who knows how I will feel by then. But I do hope to be able to go and get it.

[anxietygirl60]

Thanks for your reply Whimbo.

I do appreciate you taking the time to reply and telling me about your experience with this and for the advice to listen to my body's signals more than my thoughts. It is very good advice and have heard something similar myself from somewhere else, but can't remember now. Problem is I forget to follow it most of the time. I can get too far into my head sometimes and it can be a not very nice place to be at times.

As to having someone with me when I go get the shot, I don't really have anyone who could come with me. Firstly, because there are very few people left in my life that I could ask (most of my immediate family are deceased and I don't have too many friends left) and secondly I try to keep my anxiety, not a secret as such, but quiet. I don't like to burden the few people left around me with it. It's hard enough for me to deal with why should they be burdened with it too.

I will, hopefully, be able to manage on my own. It won't be comfortable, for sure. I can't wait for it to be just a bad memory.

[Whimbo]

That's great to hear,

If you feel like you can do it alone, that's great!

If you're still having trouble, I guarantee that at least one person will be willing and happy to support you through this time, whether you're particularly close or not. As people who have experienced anxiety it's easy to feel like our emotions are too burdensome to others, and that we don't have people close enough to us to help. I've certainly been on the other side where people have violated my boundaries by using me as an emotional crutch, but no emotions are too much for others as long as you try to pay attention to their emotions and boundaries too.

If you can't choose someone, or decide just to go alone, remember that the people on this board are all cheering you on in spirit!