Hello Naima, I wanted to post a reply because it sounds like you have been working hard to resolve your issues. You may be on a plan to put on weight right now and I certainly do not want to derail your efforts, but wanted to tell you a story I find hopeful.
A woman I know and who is important in my life was seriously ill and in and out of the hospital for a few years when she was young. During a period of 'respite' she met her now-husband, this caused some turmoil and she was unable to work because of her commitment to therapy. She managed to get through the wedding (thin looking to the rest of us, but well) and then began building the life she wanted. It has taken time and so much therapy (still now) but she was able to maintain a good weight and get healthy enough to have children and return to full-time work.
In the last decade or so I know there have been ups and downs, but no hospitals, no time off work just a strict well being plan. I think there are two critical parts to my friend's success,
1. She has managed to keep just enough control of her body. She knows she cannot trust herself so she relies on a strong network at her local gym and community where people keep her accountable. She has fantastic muscle tone and just radiates a healthy glow.
2. She is very connected - to her therapist, personal trainer, community, Mum's coffee group, and sports. I look at her life now and I feel like she has made her own finely woven safety net of support as invisible as gossamer, but critical to her well being.
I hope this story of my friend is hopeful, sure she still has to manage her condition, but she has also built the life she wanted and seems very happy and way more confident compared with those younger years.
Good luck on your journey, I really hope you have a good day today.
