Aniexty is exhausting

[Blusky]

Hi there,

I am a first time poster. Firstly I'd like to thank everyone for being so brave, it helps to know that I am not alone, and neither are you.

I honestly don't know where to start. My anxiety has flared up after a couple of years of managing my symptoms. I was lucky enough to be able to come off medication, however I am now needing assistance to help me sleep. I never wanted to be back here again. Sigh.

The constant thoughts and feelings of fear and failure is really getting me down. It affecting my sleep and my relationship.

And, don't get me starterd on my mood swings, they are exhausting!

I originally recognised that I had aniexty (and it's cousin, depression) after loosing my dad, who was my world, even in my 30's. During his illness, I was his carer, however i look back and wish I could have done more. I knew at the time that I was giving all I could without loosing me completely. Anyway, I digress. During dads sickness there was family fewd's as well, not directed at me, all around me.

Since then I have discovered that I had blocked out a lot of childhood memories to cope, these were emotional struggles that I had experienced as a result of events throughout my childhood ( emotional events) . Although I have grown and learnt a lot about myself, these feelings still haunt me and I find that I no longer cope as well, to the point that I stress over things that I may have said and done during the day, it almost an obsession. I also learnt that I work in a toxic workplace but I can't quit as the fear of starting somewhere new is unbearable.

I practice mindfulness, excercise, write my thoughts down and In the past have seen a psychologist. I don't know if I have the energy to go back to a psychologist or seek online courses , I would really just would like to sleep for a week uninterrupted and to not need medication just to get a few hours quality sleep.

Whoever is reading this, if you are comfortable to share any methods that you have used that has helped you in the past get back on track I'd really appreciate it. Or just share you story

Thanks for listening.

[Happygoluckymiss]

Hi Blusky,

welcome to the BB family. I too am a fairly new poster to the forum and have felt that by sharing my experiences it is has helped me so much. Thank you for sharing your story and the one thing about this wonderful community that I have seen is that is non-judgmental, kind and caring.

a bit about me and my story: over the last few months my anxiety has reared its head too. I did somethings that I am not proud of with respect to the the people I love because of it. I felt I was on a cliff edge. It scared me so much as I did not know what was wrong with me. I nearly drove myself to the hospital. I have had a traumatic couple of months (relationship breakdown, a termination of a pregnancy, hormones...) I recognised that I needed help and the first point of call for me was self reflection, a gp appointment, medication to help me sleep as I was not sleeping (no ADs at present just a relaxant to sleep a full night), speaking with a psychologist and this forum.

I have started small - I practice mindfulness everyday. I write notes on my phone about my feelings, I communicate on this forum and finally I took the step and spoke to a psychologist - I started small.

My anxiety turned me into a person that I did not recognise and that scared me. For me, the anxiety presented itself in hot flushes, a racing heart, the sweats and the feeling I could not control my mind. I recognised that this was not me and I needed help. i was not ready to begin talking face to face with someone because I needed to process everything so before the psychologist appointment I did all the things I mentioned before and had a phone interview instead of face to face - these are the small steps I was talking about. I also read a lot about others experiences and tried to apply it to my situation. I have learned that it starts with me and I can and I will beat this with hard work, mindfulness and time.

I hoped this has helped and thank you for sharing - the first step and post is always the hardest.

Take care

- happygoluckymiss

[Happygoluckymiss]

I was running out of room in the previous post. But, I also wanted to acknowledge and send my condolences for the loss of your Dad. It is never easy loosing someone and my thoughts are with you.

- happygoluckymiss

[Blusky]

Thank you for your share and condolences.

The post did help me, I fell in to a deep sleep not long after, I woke up thinking my neighbour was being awfully noisy thumping around, it was not my neighbour but my heart, I am also a suffer of panic attacks. Baby steps 🙂

Today is a beautiful day. I hope you have good day.

[Happygoluckymiss]

Hey Blusky

you’re most welcome. Thank you for the reply.

I have found sleep to be the most precious commodity of late and I needed assistance with this (prescribe medication and disciplined in taking this at a certain time every night). It has settled the anxiety and numbed the thoughts at night (this is the worst time for me).

I’m sorry that you woke up with that pounding sensation- it is truly horrible. I know this all too well. Deep breathing helps with this enormously.

Today is a good day and I wish you one in return also

- happygoluckymiss

[Blusky]

Hi,

One of the most frustrating and tiring things about aniexty for me is not connecting with people important to me. Once a catch up is arranged I obsess about it, and more times than not will bail. I enjoy my friendships but find it hard to spend the energy regularly. One time a year catch ups are plenty for me but how can I be a good friend when I see people so little?

I am pushing myself to catch up more, tonight is an example of that, but I'm obsessing and my aniexty really wants me to bail.

I have good friends who have supported me, even when I bail. They know to keep inviting me , but not all.

I am am worried that I am loosing friends but don't have the energy to rectify things before it's too late.

Any tips on not letting my aniexty win this battle?

[Happygoluckymiss]

Hey Blusky,

Thank you for sharing this. I tend to retreat into hibernation mode when my anxiety is rearing its head and I become quite introverted. I've experience a lot of emotional trauma over the last couple of months and I have been very quiet on the social front. I have been honest with my friends and they have been understanding and respectful of my feelings. Good friends always will be. My friends are aware of this and respect this as they know when I am not my usual "happygoluckymiss" and they do check in on me to make sure I am ok.

I have an incredibly supportive family who understand when I am not feeling great and respect this and check in on me.

I sometimes think we need to take time out to recharge and that old adage: You can't pour from an empty cup.

I hope this is helped?

Take Care

- happygoluckymiss

[Blusky]

Me again!!

Does anyone have any tips for managing anxiety through change?

I've had a positive purchase in my life, I haven't been sleeping well since the decision and now post picking up the purchase. I find myself obsessing over little things, flare up of panic attacks and I wake up feeling achy ( I do sleep on the couch a fair bit, this could be why).

I excerise, meditate, breathing exercises, write down my thoughts and I often find myself here.

Nothing is helping me get back on track, I feel this year will be full of change, any advice on this is a big help.

Thanks for reading.

[Happygoluckymiss]

Hey Blusky

congratulations on the new purchase! This is exciting!

i used to get like this all the time- and then I realised I have a 100% success rate of dealing with everything because I’m still here fighting the good fight. I recognised that I deserve every happiness & you know what It will be ok. I’m worthy, I work hard & I will manage and cope.

Breathing, mindfulness, meditation- all good ways to cope.

I hope this has helped!

-happygoluckymiss

[Blusky]

So as it turns out I am having a bad spell. I have booked an appointment with my gp but it’s days away and I feel that I need help to stop spinning now.

I felt this coming on, took time off work, went on a holiday, went back to yoga reduced my alcohol intake ( it wasn’t much to begin with).

Between work ( lots of change happening plus my normalstressors) and general day to day life, I am exhausted, but I cannot rest or sleep well. I keep on having awful dreams, mainly with the theme of being lonely and work. I am fixating on the littlest things.

I wish there was a cure for anxiety.

I am am not sure why I stress the way that I do.