Advice wanted to deal with stressful situations to reduce anxiety & its negative effects

Elizabeth CP · ‎22-02-2017

I thought I was doing much better but while on a recent holiday I had a couple of stressful experiences which led to anxiety & my response seemed to make the situation worse. I tried discussing this with my psych yesterday but we didn't come up with anything I felt would help. He tried to reassure me that my response was normal given my previous history including PTSD.

We arrived at the airport after almost 24 hrs of travelling without sleep. Our luggage was lost. I had to report the loss which took ages & was stressful. By the time I arrived at the ship (we were going on a cruise) I felt really unwell sick, bloated, headache & all the symptoms of acute gastro. These physical symptoms left as soon as the luggage arrived 24 hrs later so was definitely caused by anxiety rather than a physical illness. The next day I walked into town to try to buy essentials including sunscreen & hat. I did think I should buy one spare set of clothes to tide me over but when I got to the shops I couldn't face looking for clothes to purchase. I eventually found sunscreen but gave up on everything else I needed. I returned to the ship feeling a complete failure. Any normal person would have been able to walk into the shops & buy what they needed. I seem to get overwhelmed when I feel things are out of control and seem to struggle in busy crowded places. Hot summer weather were there is a risk of getting sunburnt is a PTSD trigger for me hence sunscreen & sunhat were essentials!

The other situation I faced was at another port were we were delayed getting into port so the planned excursion was cancelled. As I expected to spend the time on the excursion I hadn't worried about researching the port & had no cash on me. On arrival at the port we were inundated by people offering different tours but all required cash & a decision needed to be made immediately so no chance to get to bank & take money out. I couldn't cope with the crowds & felt overwhelmed & unable to think clearly enough to make logical plans. In the end I took off & walked out of town feeling like a failure because my behaviour was sabotaging any chance of making the best of the situation. It was like I was saying my plans have been ruined so I'll make sure I have a terrible time & spoil it for my husband as well!!! The angry, overwhelmed feelings dominated me.

I can't change what happened on those days but I need to find ways to manage my anxiety better in the future when faced with other stressful situations.

Guest_1055 · ‎10-04-2017

Hello Elizabeth,

I am sorry....It is a challenge to know what to say to you at a time like this.

Just before my Grandad passed away he asked my mum to stay with him. I guess it helped him to know a loved one was right there, sort of calmly holding his hand. My grandad I believe knew he was passing, as he died that very night in his sleep with my dear mum right there.

I have pondered on this: that when a loved one is nearing that time. Would it help bring comfort to them to hear how much they are loved.To hear in a gentle voice how thankful his loved ones are to have known him. To know somehow that they their life has been a blessing to others. I am imagining there offspring and friends young and old saying goodbye very gentle like. Giving them a hug, squeezing there hand all in hope that there precious loved one will know that they are loved. And to bring some comfort to them. Even praying with them or singing soothing songs. Sharing and reminiscing the fun times you had with them.

Also when my nanna passed away in Hospital. A family member of mine, brushed her hair and smoothed out what she was wearing. She looked really neat and fresh looking. In her arms was a bunch of beautiful flowers, it looked like she was holding them. They were wrapped in blue paper. Anyway I have that image in my mind. A beautiful one.

I don't know why I told you all that Elizabeth. But maybe you could gently remind your family that is if you want to and have not already done so,they they could make this time a special one of quiet thankfulness for the life of their father and grandad. And tell him so, in hope it will bring comfort to him.

I do hope you don't mind me saying all that Elizabeth, I care is all.

Shell xx

Elizabeth CP · ‎10-04-2017

Thanks Shell, Your stories were lovely. It is now too late as he is asleep & being sedated so unlikely to wake up again. I just picked up my husband as he needed to eat otherwise he will become sick. I am glad my children were able to see him yesterday while he was alert & able to appreciate the visit. Even my son in England spoke to him on skype yesterday. My husband's family all care & all who are able are spending time with my FIL.