Adulting with Anxiety

[Chloe90]

The last couple of days have been really hard. I don’t know why I’m having anxiety whether it’s stress induced and not realising I thought I was handling everything well. My grandma died this year, then my mum had surgery and whilst I thought I handled that well I’m not sure because now I’m riddled with anxiety. My chest is tight, my heart hurts. So over fighting this. I’ve been medicated for over 10yrs and for the most part my anxiety is manageable but at the moment it’s out of control. Does anyone else get this? Any ideas?

Many thanks Chloe x

[Ranga-1]

I'm sorry you're going through this. It's hard when we're hit with one thing after the other. I know this first hand. Is there anything in particular you're fearing at the moment? Maybe try rationalising where you imagine what is the most likely outcome for the scenario you're fearing and focus on that. 

How is your mum doing now? Is she on the mend? Take comfort from that.

As for your grandma, you're no doubt grieving a loss. It's hard. There is no right or wrong way to grieve. Hang on to those wonderful memories of your grandma and acknowledge you're hurting now.

Are you seeing a counsellor at all? If not, and you're working, check your workplace's EAP system. Those programs have proved invaluable to me over time. 

FWIW, my anxiety has been out of control lately, too. You're not alone. I just try telling myself the fear is the anxiety talking, and it can just go away and suck a d*ck!

Practise your self care, too xx

[Chloe90]

I’m going to get back into therapy. I take for granted when I’m feeling good and then stop all the things I was doing to help. I don’t want to have to fight this my whole life it’s bloody cruel. 

I feel like someone is sitting on my chest my heart is in my throat it’s horrible! 

im sorry your going through it also, and I’m with you it can suck a d*ck and leave us alone!! 

[Ranga-1]

I'm positive the therapy will be good for you, especially if you find a therapist with whom you really connect. I get along great with mine, so I'm lucky that way. You describe the feelings well and I know them well. 

Have you ever seen the movie 'Ted' (Seth MacFarlane film wherein he voices a talking teddy bear and Mark Wahlberg is his human/owner)? They are both scared of storms/thunder and they sing the 'Thunder Song' to calm themselves. The refrain has them snuggled under the doona together, flipping the bird, and singing these lyrics: 'And I say 'F*ck you, Thunder; you can suck my d*ck!''. As infantile as that sounds, it really was rather funny. Besides, I don't i mind MacFarlane at all. Maybe that song can be appropriated for anxiety attacks! 

Take care of you and keep checking in.

[Ranga-1]

Also, congratulate yourself when you get something achieved, no matter how seemingly insignificant. Even if it's just making your bed. Tell yourself you're a legend for doing this. 

I've just told myself I'm a legend for going three days alcohol-free xx

[sbella02]

Chloe90,

I'm so sorry to hear about what you've been going through and the toll it's taking on your mental health. I'm in an extremely similar position, where my grandma passed a few weeks ago and my dad just had surgery. So I also know firsthand what you're going through. 

How's your mum doing after her surgery? Is she feeling better?

As Ranga-1 has suggested, run yourself through all the great memories that you have of your grandma. Start a journal, if you haven't already. I use my journal regularly and it can be so therapeutic to get everything off your chest - the good, the bad, and everything in between. 

Self-care practices are also great for anxiety. Other than journaling, getting into habits like meditation, or even taking a lovely, relaxing bath every now and again, can be therapeutic. 

Allow yourself to feel these emotions as they come to you as well. Grief isn't a linear journey and it looks different for everybody. Listen to your body - it tends to know what's best for you. Cry if you need to cry. Listen to sad music if you need to hear the lyrics. Go for a run if you're feeling angry. Your body knows.

And Ranga-1, three days alcohol free is amazing. I'm also doing a little sober journey this year, and with a few slip-ups, I'm about a few weeks free. 

All the best to you and your family, Chloe. We're here to support you. 

SB

[Chloe90]

Thankyou so much! I feel like this is going to be how my life is all the time and it just makes me sad. I take my medication and do the right thing but then I end up in this position periodically. I just want to live an anxious free life and be healthy and happy! 

[sbella02]

I hear you. I can tell you from experience that it is possible - anxiety doesn't have to rule over us forever.

You've mentioned that you've been thinking about going back to therapy, and it sounds like it may be beneficial. Having a chat to a professional can open your eyes to techniques and perspectives that you hadn't considered, which can also help break patterns of anxiety.

You may have more control over your feelings than you think. As much as these cycles can feel so repetitive and draining, there are steps we can take to help us feel better and begin new habits.

[Whatsinaname]

Hi Chloe,

As the others have said you are very much not alone on this journey and I can tell you I am going through the same at the moment.

I've been on medication for about 5 years and probably have an anxiety attack at least once a year.

All I can say to you and myself is, we have done this before and we can do it again. No it's not fun but it WILL pass.