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a bad day at the office
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Hi all
I have only post once before on the forums but thought I might need some advice. I have been at my new job for about 3 months now and things have been pretty shitty. The job I got is mail sorting and it's a pretty good job to have while I am studying. I began studying a certificate IV in Disability. I am very excited for study but my job really gets to me. The staff are always stressed and gossiping. When I first started working there I met my other team member who I would be working with in the mornings. I start at 6am and have to get up at 4.30am to get the train to work. I work for 3 hours and then go home or to tafe. So to start with I met the other team member and introduced myself, she was not interested at all in who I was and gave a half smile and just said hi. Throughout my first week she had pretty poor communication and I tried my best to remain as friendly as possible. I know everyone is different and as an introvert I understand small talk can be annoying sometimes. anyway I could explain more on that but I actually have been having trouble keeping everyone's stresses out of my head. I took over from a previous sorter and she returned for work about a month ago. We get on great and she is an artist also. She has her own mental health issues going on too and we do talk about stuff together because no one else has the time to listen. I consider myself a pretty amiable and caring person and I love to help people. Our boss is on leave at the moment and she left us in the hands of another manager that is not up to the job. she is so stressed out and insensitive. I tried to talk to her today as to how I had been feeling and that I felt like I had done something wrong to offend her but she has such a rushed aggressive way of talking she barely listened to me. I said I am sensitive and I have social anxiety and the office has been pretty negative lately. To sum the conversation up she asked "could you toughen up and not be sensitive?" at that I gave up and pretty much listened to her rant off and I went home totally upset and I had to skip tafe today because of it.
I'm not sure if this all makes sense. But I was hoping maybe I could get some advice, I actually talked to her on the phone and said it was almost bullying what she said and that I want to resign. This was my second job I have quit in a year and I am worried I am not making any progress. I don't mean to complain.
Thanks for reading
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Hi Soba,
I'M Raman, nice to meet you and congrats on the new and recent job 🙂
Thanks for reaching out and sharing your story and recent experience. Just by the way I can tell immediately that you are a very caring person. It's hard not to take things personally especially when you mean good by your intentions.
With regards to the work colleague who gives half smiles and isn't that talkative, my experience has taught me to not to take things personal and understand that they themselves might be dealing with a lot that you aren't aware of. Getting up so early in the morning and starting so early could also mean that she is not a morning person. I'm an morning person and partner is not so she is never in a talkative mood and treats me like a stranger ahah. Remember you're in a work environment and not everyone is there to make friends but rather try and sustain an income. My biggest issue when I was younger was trying to please everyone and be friends with everyone. The truth is this scenario doesn't exist. Always be diplomatic and say hi and perhaps leave it åt that. Who knows, they might warm up to you and try and engage in some conversation over time.
As for you having someone at work you can talk to and relate with that's great!
Regarding your manager being on leave and someone else being thrown into the deep end that's not an ideal situation for you or the new acting manager. Sounds like they aren't experienced with management and now have other people to be responsible for. This could impact their mood. As for the 'toughening up' comment I can coming from a legal work relations background that yes that comment can be deemed as 'workplace bullying'.
Overall my thoughts are in my experience:
1) Only give energy back to those who give you the same energy in return
2) Always be diplomatic
3) It's completely fine to be a caring person but understand everyone is very different
4) The work environment sound toxic and with negative energy so it's a question of 'do you want to surround yourself with those type of people and gossip' or not? Enthusiasm is contagious and it sounds like there is more negativity than enthusiasm.
5) This will be a great learning and personal development experience for you. You have to take the good with the bad.
6) Perhaps try reaching out to your HR Manager or manager if things get worse
You sound like a hard working individual so I'm sure you won't have any trouble getting a job elsewhere.
All the best 🙂
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Your reply is extremely reassuring! thank you so much.
I was told not to take it personally on first meeting with my co-worker. I am a caring person and I know everyone is different and you really don't know them. It takes time. I decided to take the approach of not ignoring her like our other staff do but try to keep up my morning greeting and leave it at that. She talks when she feels comfortable to and I have figured out we are very unlikely to continue a friendship. I do like to make friends but forget not everyone wants to and might not get along with me.
Since I posted, I actually handed in my resignation. I was on probation and felt the hours and the office weren't a good fit for me. I have been studying at Certificate in Disability and have an interview lined up already for some casual work. I am very excited to be on a new career path and feel I won't have too much trouble finding a new job. I wanted to give my co-worker the chance to come out of her shell if she wanted to and her attitude has changed a lot since I have been there, not taking credit for it but I think I just kept an open mind. She doesn't ever ask me how I am doing but she doesn't really need to anyway. I was just there to work too. It is helpful though if you have another staff member to bounce back off or someone who is a little more positive too. Tafe is keeping me busy and the class and teacher are super positive.
Thank you so much for your advice again. I am a bit tired at the moment! getting up at 4.30 every morning is a challenge! I'm sure there are more challenging jobs out there though too.
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You're very welcome and I'm glad to hear that you have resigned and congratulations on the interview! What's great and exciting news. I wish you all the very best and if you're comfortable please let me know how you go 🙂
You have handled yourself and your colleagues exceptionally well.
People like you are very deserving of other people (but the right people). I have no doubt in my mind that in time you will find the right people.
Change is as good as a holiday. All the best once again and good on you and keep it up!!!
Regards,
Raman.