24yr old woman with Anxiety and depression

[Elzbelz]

Hi All,

I'm so glad that these forums exist. Currently i'm at my desk at work, on 4hours sleep (12.30am- 4.30am).

I had my first ever panic attack about 1&1/2 years ago - ended up in hospital with numbness on my entire left side from lack of oxygen in my body - that was awful.

Since then, the feeling has not stopped, its every day (maybe not all day) but everyday. Yesterday i decided to take myself to the doctor to seek some medication that may help me focus my mind into bettering myself and basically help me get my sh*t together.

I'm nervous to take my first tablet as i have always positive i could beat this on my own - 'naturally'

I'd love to hear about your experiences with seeking advise from Councillors and certain things that really helped get your life in order a little more.

I've been out of home since i was 18y/o and always maintained full time work, a 5 & 1/2yr relationship, a tidy home and my three cats. After working over 50hrs a week for so long, it finally hit me that i was SO unhappy. I ended my relationship (partly from guilt that i didn't want my partner to deal with me) and mostly because he was a pretty crap boyfriend, close minded and business driven (not for me).

ANYWAY - i thought this anxiety i was experiencing was purely situational, but now i have a great job, decent pay, a WONDERFUL boyfriend and amazing friends.. but i cannot shake this feeling - i just feel like a bit of a over dramatic weirdo -i know there are people out there facing actual problems.

Looking forward to hearing from you all xxx

[smallwolf]

Elzbelz,

Hi. Welcome to beyond blue. I am also glad places like this exist. Before I came here I thought I was alone with my problems, but the people rally around you with support and care, which is really useful at times.

I think it was fair to say that I thought I could get through my problems without medication. I think the feeling was that I am not that bad. Denial? I didn't and don't really have anyone to compare my situation with, and all I know is what I might get back from my psychologist. In reality, all our our situations are unique. Anyway, things took a turn for the worse about 6 months ago, was prescribed ADs and referred to a psychiatrist (as well). One of the first things I was asked was how much coffee I drank in a day, how I slept etc. I had sleeping problems as well - stress related. Outside of managing my anxieties and depression, reducing my intake of coffee, and getting proper sleep was very beneficial for me. I noticed you said that you were operating on 4 hours sleep. I am still taking the ADs daily, and I probably need to. For how long? Not sure. But I see them now as a tool to get better.

You also said... "i just feel like a bit of a over dramatic weirdo -i know there are people out there facing actual problems". I said something similar in my own story a while ago, and another person on the forum told me that my issues are just as important as the next persons when it comes to mental illnesses. So the same applies to you.

In speaking with your GP, have you considered seeking professional help? If only for a chat to see how you are? (My GP referred me to a psychologist for a second opinion and at the end of that 1st session, was told to go back to the GP for a MHCP.) It is a decision I don't regret to this day.

Space is short here, and there are many other things I could say. But I will leave it with the following statements... I had/have anxiety and depression from work related stresses, and high ferritin/iron levels. Associated with my anxiety are traits of perfectionism and craving certainty. I also dwell on the negatives. It was this time last year, that I had shut down, that empty feeling inside, that I cannot do this any longer. And I did the K10 test. In closing, you are not alone, I and other people o the forum understand where you are coming from, you are not making it up, and I guess now you can work out what is causing all this.

I hope to hear more from you,

Tim

PS. Even writing your thoughts here can be helpful?

[romantic_thi3f]

Hi Elzbelz,

Welcome to the forums and thank you for being here. First thing: it's good that you are here. You are not an 'over dramatic weirdo'. You're struggling, and that's a-okay. One of my favourite quotes about this is that 'it doesn't matter to me whether you're drowning in a teacup or in the ocean - what matters to me is that you're drowning'.

I'm sorry that you've been struggling with this anxiety, it sounds like it's been pretty difficult, especially that hospital trip!

So, to answer your questions though -

I have seen a counsellor off and on for years and years. I hated seeing one at first, the idea was daunting and I didn't think anything was 'bad enough' to warrant a visit (totally natural and common thought by the way), but I've gotten a lot out of therapy.

Therapy to me isn't always about 'I can't do this on my own anymore' sometimes it can be about 'what are some other tools that can help me do this'? Therapists can't and won't do the work for you - so whether you decide to see one or not, you'll always be the one doing all the work!

Techniques wise, probably lots of things helped me. I think for anxiety though, there was a really big push to work out some of the things I've been saying to myself, as so often it's automatic and negative - so bringing all that to the surface, figuring out where it came from and how helpful it is. Other times it might be about just trying to see what anxiety looks like and feels like and learning to live with it. There's so many different approaches. Like if your best friend made this post or said these things to you, what sort of stuff might you say or do back?

Hope this helps a little,

[Elzbelz]

Thank you for your message, that's lovely!