Procrastination but worse.

[Spl spl]

Hey, figured I'd post here since I just need some advice on this problem.

So, in highschool I was your typical procrastinator. Just before a deadline, I got that sense of panic which would push me to work hard and finish an assignment. Only over time that really started to dim. That panic I felt at the deadline became less and less of a deal because every time without fail, I would get it done, so I started pushing things off later and later. And every time I would feel even less stress. So much that even if I failed one or two things, it really wasn't a big deal to me. Then Yr 12 rolled around and I was just ignoring semester-long assignments left and right, even if they were part of classes that were important/that I enjoyed, because the deadline wasn't a big deal to me anymore. I didn't care anymore. Not as a pessimistic attitude thing, the stress just stopped registering, so I felt no need to do it.

This habit became natural to the point where if I saw that something huge was due, I knew that I would just fail it anyway, so I gave up before I even started. It wasn't even procrastination at that point I just straight up didn't do it. Which is a problem for me right now. Because now even if I desperately want to do something, I just can't do it. And if I need to do something I don't necessarily want to do, the stakes are even worse. And because if I get (or got) paid occasionally to do Things for people, and I don't do them by the deadline, then it kind of becomes an even bigger problem. Not even the law can stop me at this point. It's like my panic button is broken. I need advice on how to stop giving up before I even start.

Anyway, reason I was motivated to post this is because there's this project Im doing due in about 5 hours and it's not done, and physically can't be finished in the next five hours. I'm pretty much doomed and it sucks since I really wanted to do this project since its something I'm personally interested in, and I cleared my whole schedule for this past week to complete it, and I made a schedule for it, and I was productive for about a day and then - bam. Flat out avoidance. Total apathy despite this literally being an opportunity I've waited for all year. I stopped feeling anything. Help would be appreciated.

[Spl spl]

Hello again! It has been quite a while since I've last posted on here but I'd like to keep this thread ongoing.

I'm unsure if some people will see this or not but anyway I'm so glad I'm not alone Emily, thanks for sharing your experience it helps a ton, honestly. Thank you Quirky and Chloe for the replies.

And now let's continue, because over these past months... this problem has actually gotten a lot worse. I need to talk to someone about it and I've kind of run out of people so BeyondBlue is the way to go. I'm in uni now and I've failed about 4 assignments (and 1 class) just from this 'lack of stress'. Today was sort of a breaking point-- I woke up and realised that I had completely forgotten about an assignment that was due 3 days ago.

This year I have talked to uni counsellors, my doctor, my psychologist and my parents about this- which first resulted in uni counsellors thinking I might have undiagnosed ADHD, and then my doctor & psychologist saying I don't have ADHD and my parents are kind of tired with dealing with me. They said I just needed to grow up, become mature and learn consequences for my actions by being in the real world. Like this would all change if I just became more mature....

I'm just really really lost right now. I don't understand how to make myself just do things like everyone else seems to have such an easy time doing. It seems like a lot of the people I was talking to they just... straight up did not compute what I was saying. Fact of the matter is I'm trying my best, writing schedules, putting up notifications, going to uni even when I don't have class, getting extensions, having friends that are nerds and remind me of assignments, even sitting down to actually do the assignments and breaking it up into little pieces--- and yet I STILL have this problem. What the heck! I'm studying my favourite subject here! How??

Each time I try to complete an assignment, I just get this overwhelming feeling of guilt and I get all dizzy and my hand gets too weak to hold the pen and I have to lie down for a bit to catch my breath. Each time I think about it I don't even stress it like everyone else seems to do with school, so can I barely focus on what I'm doing. It's very easy to forget it and I've forgotten assignments before. My brain gets all fuzzy and its a real struggle to think clearly. Its easier to just avoid doing it altogether.

Sorry for the long read but thanks for reading if you read it 🙂
TL;DR: Brain can't study? ADHD? Help..?

[Steveb3]

Hey Spl

I too have been through a similar situation as yourself, and tried everything from counselling, doctors and even put on special diets.

I found when it came to completing assignments, Homework and in class i had absolutely no initiative.

but when it came to work i enjoy (the actual work, not the boring study part) my motivation kicked in.

May i ask what is your favourite subject?

[Spl spl]

Heya Steve

Thanks for the understanding! It's really good to know it's not just me who is having this problem. Thanks for sharing your experience.

Yeah that is true for me as well for the most part. My favourite subject is art, and it's what I'm studying at the moment. I'm actually drawing right now instead of doing work.

But it's really strange how I can draw carefree like I'm doing now when theres no assigned work or deadline - but as soon as the pressure comes on, I just shut it out. I had an art project due yesterday (not uni related) which is already done I just have to submit it... yet that's all I've been procrastinating on all day today.

What I'm saying is if there's a deadline involved, I procrastinate regardless of if I enjoy what I'm doing or not...

[Chloe_M]

Hi Spl Spl

Welcome back, i must say its been a while since ive been here too, almost a month! Oops!

A while back i was posting to another member struggling with something similar to you... ill have a little sticky beak for their thread and see if there was any useful advice from myself or other members and ill get back to you if i find anything 🙂

Im sorry that its getting worse. I really am unsure how to help as i am unfamiliar with what you are going through, however, i will always be here to listen to your problems so to speak and i will try and reply as best i can. Just letting you know i will not be on here as much, being a principle (soloist) in my dance company with our annual performance coming up and still studying at high school (yay not) i am extremely busy lol. I will be on here when i can though.

Take care,

Chloe 😄

[Steveb3]

Hey Spl

It's all good there's nothing wrong with you!

Sounds to me like you have a creative mind and a free spirit which is great

so deadlines probably aren't your thing naturally.

The most famous artists don't work to deadlines for a reason

There's many hobbies i love but if i had to do them i would hate it.

e.g I love surfing, i surf 3+ times a week but if i joined a competition and had to train 3 times a week i would hate it and end up not going.

This current way of life we are all living has only been around since the early 1900's up until then deadlines for the average person weren't really a thing.

I guess what i'm saying is some souls are meant to be free.

With the assignments would it help with the idea of starting slow?

E.g only spend like a maximum of 3 minutes each day and trick the mind into getting them done.

Day 1 -just headline

Day 2 - Just draw the Boarder

Day 3 just draw half a circle e.tc

or just write 1 word today 1 sentence tomorrow e.t.c

I know it sounds silly but by the end of the week you will start to see progress which might spur you on.

I actually did this with a couple of my assignments they were late but i got a pass!

hope this helps!

Like

[itselsie]

Hi Spl,

I was diagnosed with ADHD at the start of this year- I'm 23 and a full time uni student in my last year of my masters. I originally self-diagnosed using online tests and then was officialy diagnosed and started treatment at the start of this year. I haven't read your entire thread but I would encourage you to ask your GP for a referral to a psychiatrist. Firstly because they're the experts in mental health and secondly because GPs and Psychologists cannot diagnose ADHD in adults anyway. A psychiatrist in my view is the best equipped person to help you resolve this.

One of the things I have found to help me (pre-meds) was to go to the uni library and study- this forced me to be less distracted because I was worried about distracting other people. It didn't help me staying off things like social media or my mind wnadering but it was something! I also like to keep a separate notebook near me so that when I inevitably get distracted I can scribble on there instead of on my work. I also like to chew gum and have a water bottle and snacks- just other little things that help to keep me busy. Also when my mind wanders I find it easier to let it for a little bit then say 'okay enough' and bring my mind back- sometimes it works, sometimes it works for 15 seconds and sometimes it doesnt work at all but it is still soemthing I do. Also taking frequent breaks is key and when you take them try to stay off your phone- for me my phone is a downward spiral of procratination. Sometimes I will also not charge my phone overnight because I know I dont have the willpower to stay off it the next day.

That said, for me a lot of my ADHD problems have now become ingrained habits and even though I am mediacted (and still fiddling with my dose), meds don't undo a lifetime of learned behaviour. As difficult as it is try to make amendements to your behaviour if you can.

If you would like some more tips about how I managed pre-diagnosis, how I am going now, or how I got diagnosed feel free to reply to this post and I'd be more than happy to answer.

All the best!

Elsie

[nina12]

Hey Spl,

I've struggled more with procrastination than avoidance, but there's a really good podcast I found that helped with these called UnF*ck Your Brain. There's an episode on avoidance and an episode on procrastination, and she offers some concrete things. I like listening to it with a pen and paper so I remember the things I'm supposed to do.

It hasn't fixed things for me, but I'll go back to it sometimes when I'm finding it particularly hard to do stuff and I find that it helps me feel a bit better.

[Niki45]

Hi Spl,

I've recently realise that deadlines weren't affecting me anymore. They weren't motivating me to do assignmemts or start. They felt like they came and went.

I always use to procrastinate for the past couple years, but somehow always pulled an all nighter and still managed to get staright As for one semester. Then last year the workload got too much for one night and all nighters didn't work for me like they used to. I would just prefer sleeping even though i knew the final was due the next day.

I'm in my final year of high school so it's important to stop procrastinating, but instead it's worse than procrasting. I searched it up to try and find what's wrong with me and I found this thread. I can understand your situation and I completely relate to the panic button being broken.

I also just watched a video of 'signs that you're emotionally burnt out' I relate to some of the signs but idk for sure if that is the reason I feel like this.

Anyways, hope you're doing ok. Just wondering how are you coping now and I would appreciate any tips if you have some.

[Ammara]

Hi Spl! I totally relate to you since I am a procrastinator myself. I think most cases like this stem from anxiety. Maybe you can try having a study buddy. It helps most of the time. Just knowing that there is someone beside you who's also working on a project like you. Also, it's just a matter of where you draw inspiration or motivation from. To me, it's knowing that on the other side is the actualization of my goals. I read an article that helped me stay motivated. Maybe this will help you too - 

"How to Be (and Stay) Motivated in College" on the Custom Essay Meister website.

I sincerely hope you're doing okay now.