My very confused state

[Samyol]

Hi there! I'm Sam, I've not yet posted on this forum so here goes 🙂 I've had anxiety since a very young age, I'm now 18 however am still plagued by it. Interesting enough I'd say I have a good perspective of life, there's definitely times where life has been tough but for the most part I actually am extremely grateful to be alive and receive the support I do.

Unfortunately, my love for life is the cause of what I'd consider to be quite a tough part of my life. I'm currently investigating some digestive issues alongside my GP, I've been sick for quite a while, about a month. No vomiting (hooray!!) however frequent abdominal pain and toilet visits. Now here's where things get tricky, I'm terrified of illnesses.. I'm terrified of being sick, it scares me, makes me extremely anxious and lately I've been beginning to wonder whether all of these abdominal problems I've been having are a direct result of my fears of whatever could be going on inside me. My mind often races, "What if I have cancer", "What if I die?!?" and this generally leads me to only feeling worse and being terrified. I want to live my life, I want to be happy and until I know nothings medically wrong with me, my mind can only keep racing with these horrific thoughts.

My parents tell me that it's all in my head as I'm yet to have any medical diagnoses and nothing to back the pain I'm in but it's torture, I can't sleep, I barely eat, I've lost kilograms in a matter of weeks and yet I'm just to believe its all in my head? I don't think so, I just want to feel okay, I just want to rid of this pain and I'm so anxious as a result of what COULD be wrong with me, not what actually is...

Any replies are appreciated, I'm just really looking to reach out and hear what others may have to say. Thank You for reading this all if yah made it here 🙂

[44Max44]

Hi Samyol, I'm 20 years old and a few months ago I was in your shoes almost exactly.

I was getting abdominal pains and found myself constantly on the toilet miserable and thinking I was sick. I went to the GP probably around 10 times in 2 months for various different things I imagined, but the main one being the abdominal pains.

I ended up getting blood tests, and even went as far as getting an ultrasound on my abdomen, and long story short, it was nothing!

Abdominal pains is VERY common for people that suffer from anxiety, so much so that it even has a name; Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
The good news is that it is completely harmless, albeit uncomfortable.

I highly recommend googling 'Irritable Bowel Syndrome' and doing a bit of research on it, I think you'll quickly find that the symptoms you're experiencing are all symptoms of IBS.

Take your irrational thoughts and replace them with facts and knowledge. Knowledge is power, and if you know that what you are experiencing is just IBS and nothing more, you'll improve.


I hope this helps you out or at least reassures you that you're very likely to be just fine.

[Samyol]

Hey Max? I truly appreciate your reply, it's relieving to know I'm not the only one experiencing this sort of thing (as messed up as that sounds).

I'm quite aware of Irritable Bowel Syndrome, I've long thought I've had it as a result of anxiety as I'm unable to leave the house without using the toilet because of how quick things move about. Unfortunately, this is something I kind of automatically ruled out despite it genuinely being a possibility, I've had questionable colours appear in my stool that are different to what I've ever experienced hence why I start to believe something is genuinely wrong 😞

[44Max44]

Something I forgot to add is The Anxiety Guy (on YouTube), his channel focuses on anxiety but specifically on health anxiety, he gives a lot of great advice and his videos are very peaceful to watch. One video in particular I highly recommend is his video 'The Symptoms of Health Anxiety'. You'll quickly find that most of the symptoms he himself has felt in the past are the exact same symptoms you are feeling. I too had the same fear that my abdomen pain was cancer, and cancer is still by far my biggest fear health-wise, but 99.9% of the time the symptoms you are feeling are just in your head despite how ridiculously real they feel. I know the struggles and can tell you from my own experience that it is possible to improve and get yourself out of the negative thought-loop.

The type of thinking you and I experienced is called 'self-destructive thinking', pretty much what it means is that you automatically assume the absolute worst, even if what you're feeling is no cause for concern. I did this ALL the time but taught myself to break myself out of the negative thinking as soon as I notice it, which is something I was taught from The Anxiety Guy.


Sorry for the essay, I just really empathize with you as I was in your exact same position just a few months ago and it was quite possibly the most miserable I've been in my entire life.


Anyways, hope this helps again. 🙂

[44Max44]

Reply to your reply:
I too found myself looking into the toilet every time I 'went', and I too noticed all these unusual colours, textures, 'things' and whatnot in my stool. I found myself googling 'what does this colour/texture/XXX of stool mean?' over and over again to try and pin-point what exactly could be wrong with me, but in the end, it still ended up being nothing. It may not be IBS, but I wouldn't rule it out just yet.

If you are like me and just want to get tests done ASAP to ease your mind, then you can always ask your GP for blood tests which can rule out stuff like ulcers and will help them pinpoint what could be wrong (if anything), and you could even ask for an ultrasound like I di, assuming your GP has an ultrasound or there's one nearby you can be referred to.

[Samyol]

I really appreciate your empathy, thank you so much Max. I think my mind is a lot more at ease, I'll definitely check out those Youtube videos and it's crazy to hear you too were searching up all different things about your stool as I thought I was going completely insane. Thank you so much, I appreciate the replies, I'll continue doing what my GP suggests which is currently a stool occult blood test and hope it turns out negative but until then I'll stay strong and try my best to learn more about health anxiety and how I can put my mind to ease.

Thank you so much, I hope you realise how much you've helped me.

[44Max44]

I'm very glad I could help you out, that means a lot to me, and I'm confident you'll be just fine. 🙂

I'm just trying to pass on the knowledge that helped me out so much when I was in the same boat, I don't want myself or anyone else to feel that way if I can help it.

Here's hoping your next post is you delivering some good news!

[Samyol]

I'll definitely leave an update when I next receive some news about the upcoming tests, thanks again 🙂 I appreciate your help so much.