My confusing Feelings on Dating and Relationships

[KFPDW]

(The Forum has helped with my stressed out feelings before so I thought I would make the use of it with another thing that has been on my mind)

I’m 25 now and I haven’t been in a relationship before. After my parents divorced, I have been apprehensive about getting into any kind of relationship. My Mental Health is currently all over the place which I’m currently trying to fix. And I know I’m not in a hurry to get married or anything like that. I want to be able to be happy with myself and have my mental health all up to scratch. But why do I feel like I want to be with someone (a girl in my case) and have that close relationship? To be with someone who is like your best friend and so much more than that? To know what it’s like to kiss someone I really like? Why do these feelings keep coming up? I feel like any new person I meet that is a girl, a small part of me hopes a relationship could happen with this person I met. Like my mind is jumping ahead.

I feel ridiculous!! I know being in a relationship doesn’t automatically solve any issue I have in my life. I also know it can come crashing down with divorce like my parents and so many other people. I feel like I’m so confused and I don’t know what I want. I would like to meet someone and develop a close relationship with them. But I also don’t want to rush into anything any time soon. I want to play it safe.

I also feel like I’m not interesting enough and I don’t fit into the handsome guys and good lookers category. I had a few false starts where I thought I really like someone but it either didn’t feel right after a while or I got too picky or my mind couldn’t help looking ahead too far when I didn’t want to. There was one girl I liked who just my best friend now and I get along well with her Boyfriend really well too. We like a lot of the same things and I tried to ask her out but she didn’t feel the same way. It was crushing but I tried to not let it on that it hurt. We’re cool now and I’m happy we’re friends but it wasn’t easy getting over her at the time. And there hasn’t been anyone since then I have meet where I felt a strong connection with.

So yeah, that sums up what I’m feeling in terms of dating as a whole. I felt like I just needed to get my feelings on the matter out in the open. I don’t know where I stand and why do I keep feeling like I want to be with someone when there’s no one there? Or at the very least, want to be in a close relationship?

[KFPDW]

You be surprised, there are at least a few people in my uni course that were able to get together in and out and during lockdown. And are still together to this day. But yes COVID makes life so HARD.

Thanks again for your kind words and yes I will hang in there. 🙂 I'm determined to get on top of my mental health and be in a place mentally where I feel happy and comfortable. And when things open up again, I'll try to join some sort of theatre group or production. I always have fun working on those in the past so I would very much like to do it again. 😄

[KFPDW]

Thanks Geoff. I'll keep that in mind. That's solid advice. 🙂 ^_^

[KFPDW]

Thanks for your reply Mk2692. I appreciate the suggestion of the dating app but after discussing it with other people in this forum, I've come to the conclusion that it may not be the best course of action for me. The people who go on there are general people who really like drink and clubbing or growing up too fast or looking for a fling. Which works for others but not for me.

But it's a fair statement that even though things didn't work out with my parents, history won't repeat itself. At least I hope not. I am getting some counselling help from Kid's Helpline on a regular basis so that's a positive thing that is helping with my mental health.

It's good to know what I'm feeling is normal so thank you for your positive response. 🙂

[chadicha]

Hey, thank you so much for sharing. It can be so spirit-wrenching when your searching for the one but only seem to find rejection or friends. But please don't give up; maybe the time isn't now, but the right woman will make her way into your life and you will feel this bond and be so grateful nothing else even worked out.

No matter what 'category' you fit into, you are perfect just the way you are, and the right girl will see you as her ideal and the qualities you embody inside will shine through and she will only care for that. Don't lose hope, you seem like such a loving person who is so deserving of your match- they will come! And also, it's so normal of you to have these feelings of wanting a loving partnership, but keep the faith!

[KFPDW]

Hi Chadicha, just saw your reply. Thanks for your kind words and for understanding where I'm coming from. Good to know what I'm feeling is normal at the very least. It does feel spirit-wrenching. I was feeling it today which prompted me to check my forum post on here. So seeing your post came at the right time. I hope I do meet someone who thinks of me like how you described. Feels hard at the moment but I promise to keep the faith and not give up hope.

[chadicha]

I am so inspired by your strength, you are a miracle in the making. I believe in you and I know you won't give up because you are powerful, loving and kind-hearted. Your a noble deserving man, never forget that.

[geoff]

Hello KFPDW, it's amazing how sometimes we meet someone who is the perfect match and who is able to help us overcome many of our previous problems.

Good luck.

Geoff.